Alex stared at the older man, trying for all he was worth to find some insincerity in his tone, but all it revealed was a deadly honesty that could not be denied or ignored. His body tingled in response, and he looked away, trying not to let the other man see what was in his eyes. But it was everywhere else; from the set of his mouth to the way he held his head, and Mulder had always been pretty damn good at reading people.

"Why didn't you go home, Alex? Why did you go off with those assholes? You knew what that Billy was about."

"H...how do you know what I know?"

"There are people out there, who, for the right amount of encouragement will tell you what you want to know."

Alex closed his eyes and sighed.

"Stay awake."

"M'not going to sleep."

"Okay. So?"

"So, what?"

"So, why'd you do it?"

"Thought we weren't going to get into a heavy conversation?"

"Okay," Mulder conceded. "You're right. How do you feel?"

"Like shit. If I don't lie down soon, you're going to be dragging me across this floor."

Mulder studied the younger man for a moment then nodded.

"I guess it's safe to let you rest now."

"Gosh, thanks."

Mulder walked the other man over to the bed, arranging the pillows into a pile then lay him back against them.

Alex winced as he shifted this way and that, then finally settled into the most comfortable position he could find.

Mulder waited until Alex's movement stilled then, "Can I get you anything?"

"No. Well..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm a little dry."

Mulder retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator behind the small bar and brought it over to the bed.

Alex took the bottle and drained more than half its contents before looking up at the older man and mumbling his thanks.

"Guess you *were* dry," Mulder observed as he watched the other drink down the rest of the water. "More?"

Alex shook his head and handed the empty bottle back.

"Hungry?"

"No." Alex let his head fall back against the pillows and closed his eyes, but almost immediately lifted it again.

"Shit."

"Dizzy?"

Alex nodded slightly, taking slow, deep breaths.

Mulder seated himself at the edge of the bed and rearranged the pillows so that Alex didn't have to tilt his head back.

"Okay. Now, try to close your eyes."

Alex obeyed, sighing heavily.

"Is that better?"

The low monotone washed him in warmth, calming his nerves and bringing a contentment he hadn't felt in...well, never. He moaned softly, unconsciously turning into the hand that was now caressing the side of his face.

"Sleep now. I'll check on you in about an hour."

Alex issued a barely audible sigh in response, his mind and body already drifting into the darkness.

Mulder sat quietly, watching the diminishing movements of the heavy fringe of lashes and wished for nothing more than to be able to lie down and pull Alex into the protective warmth of his arms, but he wasn't quite sure how that would go over. He was shocked enough that the younger man was lying here in his bed, letting him offer comfort.

Mulder lingered a bit longer, waiting until he was fairly sure that Alex was asleep, then rose from the bed and headed toward the bathroom. Before he could make it to the door, an agitated sound reached his ears. He turned to find Alex shifting restlessly, half open eyes searching his immediate surroundings.

Mulder walked back over to the bed and sat down, reaching out to run a hand over the top of the younger man's head.

"What is it?" he whispered, receiving no verbal answer. The other simply gravitated toward him and settled into a contented silence once his presence could again be felt.

Mulder stared at the younger man as he lulled him back to sleep.

Mystifying.

How could he shift from strong-willed and arrogant to unsure and frightened to so completely submissive and needy all in the span of a couple of days? Hours?

Mulder changed position, carefully lifting his legs onto the bed and pushing back against the pillows. He continued to observe Alex while his hand gently massaged the back, which was now turned to him.

//Maybe the confusion isn't as much yours as it is his.//

He maintained his position on the bed for over an hour then, as much as he didn't want to do it, gently shook Alex awake.

"Alex."

No response.

"Alex?"

"Hmm."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, brushing a kiss across the younger man's shoulder. "I'm going to have to keep checking on you through the night. You can sleep as long as you want tomorrow. Do you know where you are?"

"In hell."

Mulder turned the groggy man's face to his. "Does that make me Satan?"

Alex's eyelashes fluttered and lifted. "Don't you want my soul?"

Mulder let the question pass. "Where are you?" he asked softly.

"Your hotel room."

"And who am I?"

"Mulder."

"How do you feel?"

Alex's head nestled back into the pillow. "Tired." He grimaced as he mumbled into the linen-covered cushion. "Hurts."

"I know. Go back to sleep."

Mulder didn't have to issue the command twice. Alex drew a deep breath and drifted back into sleep almost immediately. He lay quietly behind the other man, fingers skimming the warm surface of his skin, learning its texture. He leaned in, rubbing his cheek over Alex's shoulder, inhaling and memorizing his scent. Ever so gently, his tongue inched out, stroking over the satiny surface, reveling in the younger man's flavor.

"I do want your soul," he whispered, caressing the sleeping man's arm.

When he was sure that Alex was deeply asleep, Mulder left the comfort of the bed and, unwrapping the towel from his waist, pulled a pair of underwear out of the drawer and wrestled it on over the raging erection he sported. Wrapping a light robe around himself, he pulled a chair up beside the bed and took a seat. Shaking off the urge to close his eyes, he reached for the remote and turned the television on, flipping through channel after channel, stopping on what had quickly become his favorite.

He watched for more than twenty minutes, torturing himself with the images on screen, seeing himself and Alex in the place of the two men...twined together, clutching at each other, kissing, almost devouring...

Gilded eyes flicked from the screen to the man lying unconscious on the bed.

Cut and bruised...eyes swollen and black with exhaustion, he was still unnervingly beautiful and more desirable than anything Mulder had ever seen.

Crossing his legs and willing his cock to stop its throbbing, Mulder changed the channel to something more innocuous. He turned the sound all the way down and leaned back in his seat, watching the steady rise and fall of the other man's chest...observing the intermittent flutter of his eyelashes, and his gaze fell away. He took long, steady breaths, his heart pounding rapidly, the intensity of it drowning out the throb of his cock.

//He's right, you know. You *are* insane. Wanting this man, knowing all that he's done and all that he's been...it's demented. it's..it's psychotic.//

His eyes again rose to look upon the sleep-softened features.

//It's undeniable.//

"Please give me your soul, Alex," he requested softly. "God knows why, but you've already got mine."

For the rest of the night and well into the morning, Mulder woke Alex every hour or so, incurring the younger man's ire each time, and finally, at around ten a.m., he watched the exhausted, emerald eyes close, and he vowed that this would be the last time. Alex had remained lucid through the night, and Mulder didn't have the heart to wake him any more. Besides, he was about ready to fall on his face too, if he didn't get some sleep.

But not in this damn chair.

Quietly, he crept up onto the bed and lay beside the other man, just barely letting their legs touch, and quickly drifted into a heavy slumber.

********************

A soft but insistent sound startled Mulder out of sleep. He rolled to his right, snatching his cell phone up off of the nightstand and brought it to his ear, looking over at the man beside him.

"Mulder."

"Mulder? I can hardly hear you."

"That's because I'm whispering." Mulder carefully slid out of bed to avoid disturbing the still sleeping man.

"Why are you...oh. I guess he's still there?"

"Yeah."

"Asleep?"

"He's exhausted." Mulder looked at his watch. "Until ten this morning, I hadn't let him sleep for more than an hour or so at a time."

"So he's been asleep for..."

"'Bout three hours."

"And he's been okay?"

"Yeah. I guess they didn't give him enough to do any real damage."

"Mulder, can you tell me now? What the hell's going on out there?"

"I...I can't go into any real detail, Scully. I'm sorry. Hell, *I* don't even know the whole story."

"Well, whatever it is, it isn't your problem. You've saved that low life snake's ass. You've done your good deed. As soon as he wakes up, boot him the hell out of there and pray to God you never see him again."

"It..." //Oh, God.// "It isn't just a matter of letting him sleep it off."

"What d'you mean?"

"He wasn't just doped up, Scully. He's hurt. And...and he won't take care of himself."

"So...*what*? You're going to do it?"

"...Yeah."

"You know, Mulder, I'd ask you if you were serious, but I can hear in your voice that you are. So, my next question is, *why*?"

"I don't...I...I don't really know for sure. I wish I could explain it to you so that you could understand."

"Try."

Mulder ran a hand through his tousled hair and moved a little farther from the bed.

"You're going to think I'm crazy."

"I *already* think you're crazy, Mulder. Just tell me."

"Okay. I'm going to ask you a question, and I want the absolute truth, okay?"

"Okay..."

"We've known Krycek for years. We know he's done some things...rotten, nasty things that take all *kinds* off balls, would you agree with that?"

"Oh, yeah. I agree with that."

"Have you ever...just *once* admired his nerve?"

"Never."

"Scully, you didn't even think about it before you answered."

"What the hell's to think about? The man's...you *know* what he is."

"Yes, I know. But a person doesn't have to be a saint for you to admire a quality that they might possess."

"Mulder, the man killed your father. He was there when Melissa was killed. What's there to admire?"

"I know all that, Scully. Believe me, I haven't forgotten it. But I can't..." Mulder broke off his sentence and heaved a long sigh.

"You can't what?"

"I can't help how I feel."

"How you *feel*..."

He'd gone this far, there was no turning back now.

"He's...he's magnetic, Scully. He's arrogant, and he's confident, and he's proud. Being out here in California has dulled that somehow. He doesn't shine as brightly as he used to. But it's there, it just needs a little polishing."

"You really *do* sound like you admire him. Jesus, Mulder, what the hell's the matter with you?"

"I don't know," Mulder sighed. "But...that isn't all he is, Scully. There's more to him than what I just told you. He goes so much deeper than I thought he did."

"Mulder, I can't tell you how confused you've got me."

"He's...there's a sadness in his eyes. This soul-deep loneliness..."

"And you want to be his new best friend?"

"Scully..."

"Sorry. Continue."

"He's tired, and he's...confused. I think I did that to him."

"Confused him?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"I gave him something he never had. Only he didn't know it was me at first. And when he found out, that's when the real confusion began."

"I'm getting a headache trying to follow you, Mulder."

"I know, I'm confusing myself....something's going on here between us, Scully, and I have to find out what it is."

"And now you're scaring me."

"I'm sorry, but this isn't going to help much...I want him."

"You..."

"Want him. Sexually, emotionally..."

"If this is a joke, Mulder, it's a really bad one."

"It's not. When I found out what had happened to him last night...I wanted to kill the men who did it. I would have if his life wasn't in immediate danger. And now, all I want to do is take care of him...hold him and make him feel safe." He turned to look at the still figure on the bed. "I'm watching him sleep right now. He's so beautiful, Scully..."

"I'm dreaming," Scully breathed. "That's it. That's what it is. I'm still asleep, and this is a nightmare."

"I'm sorry, Scully, to be saying this to you on the phone. But I can't help it, I can't...I can't explain it. It's just like I'm full up, and it's got no place left to go but *out*."

"God. I can't believe this. Mulder, come home. All that California sunshine is obviously frying your brain."

"Maybe it's just warming my cold, cold heart."

"God, that's sappy, Mulder."

"I know."

"Seriously, I'm worried about you. You *hate* Alex Krycek. You've hated him for years, and now *this*?"

"You know what they say about that fine line."

"Mulder!"

"What?"

"Don't even...I mean, you're not...God, you don't think you're in *love* with that rat bastard."

Silence, then a frightened, "Mulder?"

"I think it's a possibility. I think it's always been a possibility."

"Mulder...I don't even know what to say to you."

"You don't have to say anything, Scully."

"But," the woman on the other end sputtered. "But...Mulder, you have to know that this can't possibly go anywhere!"

"I *don't* know that. I think he wants me too."

"If he's giving you that impression, it's more than likely just to mess with your head. He's Alex *Krycek*, and he's jerking you around, as always!"

"No," Mulder answered flatly. "If you were here. If you saw...there's so much more to him than what he showed us."

"Mulder, the man is a consummate liar. He's leading you on. Don't you get it? Whatever it is you think he is now, he's faking it!"

"He didn't *fake*..." Mulder lowered his voice a few decibels and resumed his argument through gritted teeth. "He didn't fake being drugged and assaulted, Scully. The man's been *hurt*."

"Whatever happened to him, I'm sure he deserved it."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"No? Okay, well, explain it to me. Please, Mulder, I'm dying to understand."

"I don't have the time or the desire to argue with you about this any more," Mulder sighed. "I'm going now."

"Mulder, *please*."

"What?"

"Don't hang up this way."

"Believe me, Scully, I'd rather not. But I don't see you even making an effort, and I'm not going to sit here on the phone with you and argue all afternoon. I don't want to be all bent out of shape when Alex wakes up."

"Mulder..."

"Goodbye, Scully."

Mulder disconnected and walked back to the bed, where he found Alex in the exact same position he'd left him in.

Pulling the sheet up over the younger man's shoulder, Mulder spoke softly.

"It's okay. I didn't expect her to understand. Doesn't matter anyway. Nothing she says can make me walk away from you."

For the next seven hours Mulder lingered in his room, either watching television or reading, often breaking to check on his slumbering guest. Alex had moved little in all that time, and he was sorely tempted a few times to wake the younger man just to make sure he was all right. But a soft sigh or slight twitch of the other's body held him at bay.

Finally, at around eight p.m. Alex began to regain consciousness. His eyes opened and closed several times, attempting to focus on the fuzzy images around him.

Lamp.

Table and chairs.

Bellhop wheeling in a tray full of food.

His eyes flicked to the immediate left of the bellhop.

Mulder.

It wasn't a dream.

Alex turned onto his back and moaned.

God, no, it wasn't a dream.

Hearing the pained sound, two pairs of eyes fell to the figure on the bed. While the bellhop looked quickly away, Mulder's gaze remained intently focused on the man in his bed.

"Thanks." He absently handed the other man a ten, cueing him to take his leave. When the bellhop had gone, Mulder moved over to the bed and sat down.

"How d'you feel?"

Alex closed his eyes and let his head roll to the side. "Been better, been worse."

"Hungry?"

"No."

"Well, I'm starving. Had some toast earlier but that was it. Uh...where are you going?"

Alex shoved the light blanket back and pushed himself out of bed.

"Leaving."

"No, you're not."

"Yeah, I am. Listen, Mulder, thanks for letting me sleep it off up here, but it's time for me to go."

"You're not going anywhere," Mulder called flatly, watching as the younger man hobbled around the room in obvious pain.

"Yeah. I am. Where are my clothes?"

"I sent them down to the laundry."

Alex spun around as quickly as he could, glaring at the older man. "What the hell for?"

"Because there was blood on them, and they smelled like stale booze and sweat. Come on, sit down and have something to eat."

Stunned green eyes stared into tranquil hazel.

"Krycek? You okay?"

Alex's jaw worked steadily, his throat emitting no sound as he continued to stare at the seated man. Then, in a burst of energy, he moved back toward the bed, snatching up the robe draped at its foot. He struggled into the thick, white covering as he made for the door, but Mulder got there first.

"What are you doing?"

"I gotta get out of here," Alex murmured more to himself than the man blocking his path. "Can't...I can't stay..."

"And you can't go out like *this*. Now, I know there are a lot of weirdos out here, but don't you think you'd look just a bit out of place wandering the streets in a bathrobe?"

"Then get my fucking clothes!"

Mulder calmly shook his head. "You don't want to go."

"The hell I don't!" Alex winced at the pain his yelling caused in his head.

The older man moved closer, his voice a sensuous hum, slithering around Alex's frayed nerves.

"I know you don't. What I don't know is why you feel the need to fight it." He raised a hand, gently sliding his fingertips across the other's collar bone. "Stay and have dinner with me. We don't have to talk if you don't want to. It'll just be enough that you're here."

Alex stood silently, only the trembling of his body giving his emotions away. He allowed Mulder to take his hand and lead him away from the door.

"I..." he stammered, glancing toward the bathroom. "I gotta clean up."

"Okay." Not relinquishing his hold on Alex's hand, Mulder led the way to the bathroom. "They got everything in this joint. "Spare toothbrushes, combs, shoe shine kits, not that you'd need that..."

Mulder rambled on, but only half of his words were making it through the haze of confusion swirling around in Alex's brain.

"Allleeex..."

"Hmm? What?"

"I told you to call if you needed me."

"Yeah," Alex whispered breathily, nodding. "Yeah, okay."

"You all right?" Mulder asked, incurring a faint whimper as he touched the younger man's cheek.

Alex inched away, nodding.

"All right, I'll..." Mulder let his hand drop to his side, and he backed up to the door. "...I'll be out here. I'll leave the door open a bit so I can hear better, okay?"

Alex shrugged, clutching the robe to himself.

Mulder left the younger man alone and drifted back into the room. While he waited, he rang for housekeeping and asked that someone come up and change the sheets, then he sat down at the table and looked out at the twinkling lights of the city.

Maybe he and Alex could go out one night when he was feeling better. Dinner and a nice jazz club perhaps.

He smiled at the thought of the two of them out together, sitting side by side in some dark little club...so close that their thighs brushed against each other. Sharing drinks and lingering touches...

Mulder shook off the fantasy and forced his thoughts back to reality.

And reality was this:

This was one fucked up situation.

He was completely obsessed with...well, with the last person in the world he ever would have thought he'd be obsessed with...his partner wanted to have him committed for said obsession, and the object of his sudden, burning passion kept pushing him away even as his traitorous soul cried out for him...

********************

Alex stepped out of the shower, patting his aching body dry with the thickest towel he'd ever seen. He peeled the plastic wrapping away from the hotel-supplied toothbrush and proceeded to brush his teeth.

Bloodshot green eyes rose to the mirror as Alex brushed, and he stared at himself, taking stock of the bruises and cuts he sported.

//God, you really do look like shit. And he *still* wants you.//

//Question is, what for?//

//Stop trying to find an ulterior motive where there is none. He isn't *you*.//

//Well, if he isn't being insincere, he's crazy.//

//Mulder was *always* a little off...you can't let him do this to himself. Can't let him...You're not what he needs. It can't work. As soon as your clothes come back, get the hell out of here.//

Alex finished brushing his teeth then wrapped the robe around himself and, resolve securely intact, stepped out of the bathroom.

All that determination began to crack as he entered the candlelit room. His gaze fell to the man slouched in the chair by the window, and it crumbled to dust.

Mulder stared out the window, knuckles pressed into his mouth, momentarily oblivious to the new presence. Then the sound of a softly drawn breath drew his attention to the one who stood on the other side of the room. Their eyes met and held for long seconds, then he rose and walked over to the other man.

"Feel better?"

Alex shrugged. "Okay."

"Do you think you can sit down for a while at the table?"

"I don't know. For a while, I guess."

Mulder led the younger man over to the table and, once he was seated, pulled another chair up next to his.

"Let me know if it hurts too much."

Alex shifted into a more comfortable position. "I'm all right."

Mulder nodded and uncovered the food. He smiled over at the other man. "Smells good." He placed Alex's plate in front of him then dug into his own dinner.

"This hotel's got some great chefs," Mulder commented around a mouthful of tender prime rib. Receiving no answer, he looked over at his companion and found him picking at his food. He waited a few minutes, and when Alex made no attempt to eat, put his fork down and slid off of his chair, coming to kneel beside the younger man.

With one hand on the terry cloth covered knee for balance, Mulder took the fork from Alex's hand and speared a sliver of meat. He brought the food to the bowed lips, silently coaxing the other to open his mouth.

Alex's lips parted just enough to allow the fork through as he watched Mulder watching him. The older man gave him a soft, encouraging smile and reached for another forkful, waiting until he had swallowed to bring the food to his mouth. He took what was offered then looked away from the warm gaze.

"Your food's going to get cold."

Mulder slid his plate alongside Alex's and ate some of its contents. "Okay?"

The seated man lowered his head and looked down at his folded hands.

"C'mon, have some more."

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

Alex looked up, his eyes sparkling with some intense emotion.

"Stop feeding me as if I were a child."

"You let me feed you the other day."

"You were a paying, *anonymous* customer the other day."

Mulder cocked his head curiously. "So...if I give you a few hundred you'll let me?"

"Go to hell."

The older man dropped the fork into the plate, anger now beginning to seep in. "What do you want from me, Krycek?"

"I don't know," the younger man snapped, licking at suddenly very dry lips. "The truth, maybe?"

Mulder shook his head, eyes burning into the other man's. "Why can't you accept *this* as the truth?"

"Because *nobody* ever gives you something for nothing. There's always a catch."

"You know, Alex, maybe I don't live in that world."

"Bullshit."

Mulder stared at the younger man for long moments before responding. "Okay. Okay, maybe there is something I want from you." He gently but firmly parted Alex's thighs and moved between them, drawing closer to the other man. "But it's nothing I think you don't really want to give."

Alex sat frozen as one hand drifted up his arm and shoulder then threaded through the hair at the back of his head. He trembled at the feel of Mulder's breath against his lips and gasped softly as the other's mouth whispered against them.

Mulder pulled away, leaving the kiss incomplete. "You wanted the truth from me," he murmured, massaging the younger man's scalp. "I want the same. Tell me you really don't want to be here. Tell me that you don't want to be with me, and I'll believe you. I'll give you something of mine to wear, and you can leave if that's really what you want to do."

Alex stared down at the older man, chewing on the uninjured corned of his lip.

Well, there it was. The out that he'd told himself he was looking for. Now, what was he going to do with it?

"I want to know something," he whispered, staring down at the mouth he recalled wanting so badly just the day before.

"What do you want to know?"

"When you look at me..." Alex forced himself to raise his eyes to Mulder's. "...what do you see?"

The older man took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I see a man I used to despise, but who I now can't get out of my mind. I see...exquisite, sad eyes set in the most beautiful face, and they reflect such incredible loneliness and regret..."

"How is it you see all that?" Alex asked hoarsely. "Other people see me so differently." His head lowered again. "Liar. Killer. Spy...whore..."

"You can't say they're wrong."

"No..."

Mulder slipped two fingers under Alex's chin and lifted. "But no one else has looked beyond that."

An apprehensive gaze searched the older man's face. "Why did you?"

"I've known you for years, Alex...studied you even as I was beating the hell out of you, and I knew when I saw you that first night...with that man...I knew there was more. I knew there was something very wrong. And the first time you came up here confirmed it for me...mostly."

"Mostly?"

"Yeah. Well, like you, I couldn't allow myself to believe. I tried to tell myself that what I thought was real was actually an act...you giving the customer his money's worth. I couldn't bring myself to fully believe that you were what my heart was telling me you were. It's gotten me into so much trouble in the past, and *this* time, with you, I could've been in some pretty deep shit."

"You still could."

Mulder fell into a thoughtful silence then answered. "True. But I've decided I'm willing to take that chance. Can you do the same?"

He wanted to. Christ, he wanted to so much.

Mulder waited patiently, watching an internal struggle play out in Alex's eyes.

"I understand how you might think that I'm setting you up for some kind of elaborate revenge," Mulder said softly. "But all I can give you is my word that I'm not. I want you here, Alex. I want to share meals with you. I want to lie in bed beside you and talk for hours. I want you to go to sleep and wake up feeling safe and at peace."

Alex's eyes dropped shut as the older man's knuckles brushed over his mouth, and he uttered a whispered promise.

"I won't hurt you, Alex."

"You *can't* hurt me," the younger man came back in a half hearted defensive statement.

Mulder searched Alex's face for a few seconds then nodded slightly and covered the other man's hand with his own.

"Please stay with me."

Those eyes. Goddamn it, why did he have to look at him that way?

"I..." Alex stopped to clear his throat. "I guess I can hang out here for a while."

Mulder broke into a soft smile. "Good." His thumb swept lightly across the younger man's hand. "You look a little uncomfortable. Starting to hurt?"

"I'm okay."

"I don't think you're telling me the truth."

Alex offered the other man the barest hint of a smile. "Well...liar *was* first on my resume'."

Gold splashed eyes glowed with amusement. "Come on, you can eat in bed."

Alex let the older man pull him up out of his chair, wincing slightly as he straightened up, then moved back to the bed. While he settled himself into a comfortable slouch, Mulder replaced the dishes on the cart and wheeled it over to the vacant side of the bed.

"Okay, now..." Mulder lifted one plate and slid back next Alex against the pillows. "*eat*."  He brought the loaded fork to the younger man's lips, leaving him no choice but to accept what was offered.

After eating almost half of his meal, Alex refused the rest, and Mulder set the food aside, satisfied. Turning onto his side, he lay quietly, stroking the other man's hair. Alex turned to meet his eyes but soon dropped his gaze to the very slim area of mattress between them.

"Tired?" Mulder asked, gently massaging the other's temple.

"Not really. Just..."

"Just what?"

Alex shrugged. "A little freaked, I guess is as good a description as any. Keep thinking that any minute now, I'm gonna wake up. I mean...this is like one of those dreams you have, and you wake up and shake your head, saying, 'Damn, that was a weird one.'"

"I know. If someone would have told me that I'd ever be lying on a bed beside a half-naked Alex Krycek, feeding him, talking to him...wanting to touch him in a way that had nothing to do with violence...I'd have laughed in their face then shot 'em. But I've learned that life seldom goes the way you expect it to."

Alex looked up and immediately felt himself being warmed by a soft, amber-flecked gaze. "No," he grated softly. "Guess it doesn't."

Mulder fell silent for a brief time then drew a breath and asked what he'd been dying to know. "What happened to yours, Alex? How did you end up out here?"

"Not much of a story," Alex murmured, twisting the edge of the sheet in his fingers. "I was so busy helping you that I didn't watch my back carefully enough. And, the smoker pulled the rug out from under me."

Mulder shook his head in confusion. "I don't think I follow."

"He ripped me off," Alex answered simply. "Took everything I had. Made sure I was left with absolutely nothing."

"How could he..." Mulder thought better of the question and held up a hand. "Nevermind. It was a stupid question before it even came out of my mouth."

Alex nodded and went on. "All I had was what was in my pockets and hidden in my apartment."

"When did you find this out?"

"Day before it was over."

"So why didn't...Alex, you left two days *after* that. Why didn't you say anything?"

"What was I gonna say? 'Uh, hey, Mulder. Cancerman drained me dry before he bought it. Think you could float me a loan till I can find another job? I hear the Burger King down the street is hiring.'"

"We could have worked something out..."

"Who's *we*? You, Scully...Skinner...your geeky friends? What were you gonna do, pass a hat around the Bureau?"

Mulder's gaze lowered to the bed.

"I've never accepted charity in my life, Mulder. I always worked for anything I got. Okay, it wasn't always honest work, but I took care of *myself*. And that's what I was doing here before you showed up and dragged me back into your world."

"I didn't drag you," Mulder argued softly. "I might have coaxed you a bit, but the long and the short of it is, you *want* to be here. You like being able to let go and allow someone else...*me*...to take care of you. It feels good, and whether or not you ever admit it, you need it."

Alex's lack of a response encouraged him to continue.

"Why this? Why prostitution as a new career?"

"I don't intend to make it my life's work. I needed to make good money fast, and to do that, I had to be good at what I was getting paid for. Now, since I'm sick of the assassin, espionage thing..."

"But...you could do this anywhere. Why'd you come all the way to California?"

Alex drew a deep breath and released it. "...Seems like I've spent a good portion of my life in the cold and the rain. I wanted some sunshine. Some warmth. Even if it rains here, it's warm, you know?"

"That's the reason? Warmth and not a lot of rain?"

"Yeah," Alex whispered, his fingers twisting the blanket tight enough to cut off the circulation.

Mulder let that conversation thread drop and started another.

"You said you didn't plan to make this your life's work. What did you plan to do?"

Alex's mouth curved into a wistful smile. "Buy a small cabin somewhere away from civilization. In the mountains maybe. Just me and..." He cut off the statement and stared down at his hands.

"Just you and who?"

Alex shook his head. "Nobody...dog maybe."

"Dogs are good company, but they can't really hold up their end of a conversation, plus it gets chilly up there in the mountains at night."

"Yeah....well...you work with what you've got."

Mulder shifted position and cleared his throat. "I'm in L.A. another week then I'm outta here. Coincidentally, I've rented a cabin in the mountains for the last two weeks of my vacation."

"Oh," Alex said, just barely heard. "That's nice. Have a good time."

"Come with me," Mulder pleaded, pulling the blanket away and taking Alex's hand in his.

Shocked eyes blinked up at the older man. "What?"

"Well, you could...you know, you could sort of test drive the cabin. See if something like that is really what you want."

"I don't...it wouldn't be the same," Alex stammered. "It w-wouldn't have the same feeling."

"The same feeling?"

"Yeah. The...the solitude."

"No," Mulder answered softly. "It wouldn't. Would that be bad?"

"I don't know. I think...I think so. I wouldn't want to get too used to company.  You can't miss what you never had, you know?"

"You've got it now, though."

"I know. And I shouldn't."

"Because you'd miss it if it was gone?"

"When. *When* it's gone."

//You're really not getting it, are you Alex?//

Mulder decided against attempting to verbally convince the younger man; he had a feeling that he'd be fighting a losing battle.

//Okay, so talking isn't really getting it. Just stick with plan B.//

Alex stiffened as Mulder worked an arm around his shoulders and pulled him into his arms, but he soon began to relax as the older man gently massaged the back of his neck and scalp.

Mulder smiled at the sound of the soft moan and pulled the younger man more tightly against his chest.

"That good?"

Alex nodded, emitting a contented sigh as his arms wound around Mulder's waist.

//What? Stop that! *Don't* get all comfortable!//

//Shut the fuck up.//

//This is bad. It's just...it's really *bad*. Don't let him pull you in like this. You know what it's gonna feel like later when he leaves?//

"You never answered me."

"What?"

Mulder kissed the top of the sable head. "The cabin. Come with me?"

//Don't. *Don't*.//

The pleasure of Mulder's touch spoke louder than any little voice, and Alex listened with rapt attention.

"....Okay."

"Good." Mulder's hand expanded its territory, gliding over Alex's back and taking him deeper into lethargy. "Go to sleep, now."

Vaguely, Alex thought that he'd had enough sleep, but apparently his body had other ideas. Within minutes his respiration had slowed, and his hold on Mulder had loosened, indicating that he was indeed out.

Satisfied that he'd won another night, Mulder let his eyes close and, arms wrapped securely around the younger man, he drifted into sleep.

********************

Morning.

Mulder blinked in the bright daylight and turned to his side, finding himself alone in the big bed. Heart suddenly pounding, he sat up, squinting around the room, and the figure of another at the door calmed him.

Alex, wrapped in the robe he had claimed, opened the door and let the bellhop in then looked warily over at the man now sitting up in bed.

"I ordered breakfast," he said uncertainly, dismissing the bellhop then taking a few tentative steps toward the bed. "You were starting to get restless; I figured you'd be waking up soon..."

Mulder treated Alex to a full, sleepy smile. "And I'm hungry. Thanks."

Alex nodded his acknowledgment then wheeled the cart over to the bed. As he uncovered the plates, Mulder crawled to the edge of the bed, pulling him down to the mattress.

"What are you doing?"

"What are *you* doing?"

"*Trying* to give you your breakfast."

Mulder pushed Alex back against the pillows and pulled the portable tray out from under the cart, setting it over the younger man's legs.

"Thanks for calling down for it, but I can take it from here."

"When are you going to get tired of this?" Alex asked, taking the offered fork.

"What?"

"*This*. This...treating me like..."

"Like you're somebody special?"

No answer.

"Maybe I think you are."

Alex looked down at the heaping plate in front of him.

"Come on," Mulder coaxed. "Let's not eat another cold meal."

They ate breakfast in silence, Alex still trying to figure out what the big interest in him was, and Mulder trying to figure out why Alex couldn't *understand* what the big interest in him was.

When they'd eaten all they were going to, Mulder stacked the dishes and shoved the cart out into the hall then came back to the man on the bed.

"I didn't ask. How do you feel today?"

"Not in nearly as much pain," Alex explained. "Head's much clearer."

"Good. I was thinking..."

The ringing of his cell phone interrupted Mulder's train of thought. Knowing who was calling, he heaved a hard sigh and snatched the phone up off of the nightstand.

"Yeah?"

"Mulder, it's me."

"I knew that."

"Mad as you were, I didn't think you'd be calling me, so I'm calling you."

"'Bout what?"

Alex watched Mulder, curious about the deep wrinkles between his brows, and the sudden irritation in his voice.

"You know what this is about. Is Krycek still there?"

"Yes."

"Mul..."

"I'm not going through this with you again, Scully."

"Put it in park, Mulder, I'm not calling to give you a bad time. I just...I wanted to ask how he was."

"Better. Why?"

"So, will...will he be leaving today?"

"No."

"No?"

"I asked him to stay."

Alex's eyebrows rose practically into his hairline. Mulder had told Scully about him? When?

Scully couldn't hide the surprise in her voice. "And he's going to?"

"Took a while to convince him, but yeah."

"Mulder," Scully called softly. "Mulder, are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"I couldn't be more positive."

There was a long sigh then a brief silence before Scully spoke again.

"Okay, look, you're a grown man, capable of making your own decisions..."

"Well, gee, thanks."

"But, Mulder, if anything happens...if you run into trouble, please remember that you can still call me."

Some of the annoyance left Mulder as his partner made her earnest declaration. She *was* just worried about him. If their situations were reversed and it was she who was getting sexually and emotionally tangled up with the one person in the world who could drive her to irrational acts of violence, he was sure he'd do the same.

"All right, Scully."

"Is that a more civil tone I hear?"

"Yeah, I guess. I know you're just concerned."

"I am, Mulder. We know who we're talking about, here. I don't have to say it again."

"No, you don't. I haven't lost my mind, though, Scully, I promise you."

Another sigh. "I've heard that before, you know."

"I know. I'm serious this time."

"Heard *that* too."

"I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Just to let you know I'm still alive."

"That would be nice, thanks."

"Okay...how's work?"

"Everything's fine, don't worry about a thing."

"Okay, good...thanks, Scully."

"Don't thank me, just keep both eyes on Krycek. If things start looking suspicious..."

"*Scully*..."

"All right, all right. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Later."

Mulder disconnected and turned his attention to the man who sat quietly looking down at the sheet pooled between his legs.

"Not real happy, is she?"

"Not especially."

"When'd you talk to her?"

"Yesterday. Actually, I originally called her the night before, when I took you from the warehouse. I needed her medical advice."

"And you told her then that it was me you were asking for?"

"Yeah."

"I'm surprised she didn't fly right out here to drag you away from me."

Mulder lifted one shoulder and let it drop. "Would've been a wasted trip. I think she knows that."

"Yeah, I'm sure no one knows better than she does how stubborn you are."

Mulder gave the younger man a smile of acknowledgment.

"You said you talked to her yesterday, too?"

"Yeah. We wound up arguing, and I hung up on her. I shouldn't have done that. I know she's worried because she cares."

"She think I'm going to kill you or something?"

"Aside from being fairly sure that I've completely lost my mind, I'm not sure exactly what she thinks."

Alex studied the other man for a moment. "Mulder, what did you tell her?"

Mulder shrugged again. "Stuff she really could have lived without hearing."

"You told her about me? What I..."

"No. I told her about me."

Alex cocked his head, giving the older man a confused look.

"I told her how attracted I am to you...how I wanted to kill those assholes for what they did to you..."

Sable lashes fluttered rapidly, and Alex again let his gaze drop from Mulder's.

"Told her I saw more in you than what we knew in D.C." Mulder moved closer, stroking the younger man's jaw. "I told her how beautiful you are, and that I want you in more ways than you or she would believe."

Alex's eyes closed, and he felt himself beginning to sway.

This wasn't real, it couldn't be.

God, but what if it was? What if all the things Mulder had done and said to this point were the absolute truth, and not just wishful imaginings on his part?

He forced his eyes to open as he felt himself being cradled and lowered to the pillows. For an all too brief instant he found himself drowning in the exquisite green and gold gaze of the one who had so quickly taken possession of his heart, and then Mulder backed away.

"Alex?"

For a moment he couldn't find the voice to answer. Then, willing his tongue to cooperate, he spoke.

"I'm okay."

"You don't look okay."

"I am, I...I am."

Mulder studied the younger man, carefully assessing his appearance, then brushed his fingers over the maddeningly thick eyelashes, coaxing the lids to drop.

"You need to rest another day."

Alex opened his eyes the minute Mulder had removed his fingers. "I told you, I'm fine."

"You looked like you were ready to pass out."

"I've never passed out in my life."

"Yeah, well, something was going on with you. Just please relax one more day, all right?"

Alex emitted an impatient sigh then looked up the man hovering over him.

"What were you going to say before Scully called?"

"Nothing," Mulder replied, brushing a few strands of hair back from the younger man's forehead. "It can wait."

"I want to know," Alex insisted, attempting to sit up.

"Okay, but..." Mulder placed a hand on his chest, gently pushing him back down. "you stay put."

Alex settled back against the pillows and waited.

"I was just thinking that maybe we could go out and you could show me around. You know, hit all the points of interest. I really haven't seen a whole lot since I've been here."

Alex shook his head. "Don't know how good a tour guide I'd be."

"Why?"

"I haven't seen that much myself." The younger man shrugged. "Didn't really have any interest in seeing the sights."

"Hmm." Mulder thought a minute then smiled at the other. "Well, maybe we can see them together?"

An answering smile twitched at the corners of Alex's lips. "I guess."

"Okay. Tomorrow, though. Today, I want you to stay put."

Not about to argue the same point repeatedly, Alex acquiesced. "All right," he whispered, nestling into the softness behind him.

Prepared for a fight, Mulder blinked in surprise.

"That's it? No cursing, no refusals?"

"No," Alex answered softly. "You're just...you're trying to take care of me. Least I can do is cooperate."

Mulder stared at the other man. "Uhhhh...yeah. Who are you and what have you done with Alex Krycek?"

"What, you *want* me to give you a bad time?"

"No, no, it's okay," Mulder answered quickly. "I'm just a little surprised is all."

Alex slid down onto his back and crossed his arms over his chest, looking up at the older man. "So, what are you gonna do, just hang around here all day and watch me sleep?"

Mulder grinned, leaning over him. "It isn't such a hardship."

"Oh yeah, you did say I was pretty."

"Actually, I said you were beautiful." Mulder traced the younger man's cheekbone with the tip of one finger. "You are, you know."

"I've been told."

"I'm sure you have."

Alex looked up into the other man's eyes. "I never believed anyone meant it."

"Believe *me*." Mulder cupped Alex's cheek and planted a soft kiss on his lips then pulled away leaving the younger man wanting so much more.

As he looked down at the prone man, Mulder's cock, which had been whispering its need for some time now, began to shout at him, demanding that they be met. He forced himself to ignore the insistent throb and directed all his energies toward helping Alex relax.

"Turn over, okay?"

The request was met with a curious stare.

Mulder snapped his fingers then waved his hand at the younger man. "Come on, let's go. Over."

Slowly, Alex turned onto his stomach and closed his eyes, waiting for whatever came next. A sigh of pleasure escaped his lips as Mulder's hands began to caress and gently massage his back and shoulders.

"You're very, very bad for me."

Mulder grinned, letting his hands glide over the smooth skin. "How d'you figure?"

"You're spoiling me."

"And this is bad?"

"It's not good."

"Why?"

"Too easy to get used to."

Mulder leaned forward and brushed a tender kiss over the younger man's shoulder blade.

"Shut up and relax, would you?"

Alex's eyes drifted shut, and he moaned softly, luxuriating in Mulder's touch.

God, if this was bad, what the hell would good be like?

A wistful smile curved the corners of his mouth.

Good would be security in the knowledge that this was his to keep. That no person or circumstance would ever take it from him. It was being able to reach heaven with this man every night and wake up wrapped around him every morning.

Good? Christ, it'd be incredible. Indescribable...

Impossible.

But it was so nice to lie here and pretend if only for a little while...

So nice.

Mulder's hands moved over the silky skin, feeling the sinews tense and relax under his touch...heard the soft sounds of pleasure, and his heart swelled in competition with his cock.

He'd never felt anything like this before. Erotic, yet intensely emotional, it was a sensation he wished to experience again and again, and if he couldn't...if Alex got skittish again and ran away from him, he didn't know what he'd do. Having this man with him was no longer just a matter of want. In a frighteningly short period of time it had become a bone-deep need.

Alex *wanted* to stay...Mulder could read it in the younger man's expression...the desire, shadowed by fear shimmered there in his incredible eyes. Somehow he had to make Alex understand that it was okay to express his desires...that he wouldn't be hurt if he gave in to them.

He looked down at the younger man, studying him. He had certainly changed over the years, the young, fresh face he remembered seeing that first day at headquarters, now matured...a bit beyond its years perhaps, but the life Alex had lived over the last several years would do that to a person.

Still, he was gorgeous. Lean, strong body...shimmering dark hair, a bit longer than he had worn it in D.C., and very lightly sprinkled with the occasional white strand...mesmerizing eyes and a mouth that begged to be kissed...

He was relaxed now, his body and his face reflecting a serenity that Mulder would be willing to bet he didin't often feel.

So peaceful. So vulnerable.

Alex Krycek...vulnerable. Two words that Mulder would never in a million years have put together in the same thought, but there it was. Asleep or awake, it showed in every way imaginable. From the tone of his voice, to the way he kept averting his gaze, to the set of his mouth, Mulder could read the depth of Alex's suffering. And though he really shouldn't give a rat's ass, he did.

And he refused to even try to talk himself out of it.

And he refused to let *Alex* try and talk him out of it...

Alex was floating.

Somewhere in that hazy in between world where everything was wonderful. And he felt good. And protected. And free.

The constant hurt he felt during the last few days disappeared....the shouting and constant blaring of horns...the hundreds of hands that had shoved money at him, paying to visit indignity after indignity upon his body, gone. All that surrounded him now was softness and quiet...clean, sweet smells, and the presence of the one man who was asking him to remain in this world...for a while, at least.

And he had been insane enough to fight it. He could call it pride or whatever the hell he wanted to call it, the facts were, it was just plain crazy.

What he *should* have been was grateful. And he would be. From here on out, until the end of their time together, grateful is what he would be...

Mulder continued to knead and soothe the other man's muscles, perfectly happy to maintain physical contact. Even after he was sure Alex had slipped into unconsciousness, he let his hands wander over the warm flesh until an idea came to him. Grinning madly, he planted a kiss on the back of the younger man's head then got up to make a phone call.

********************

"Just line them up over there. Yeah, that's fine."

Alex emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed in a pair of his host's jeans and a t-shirt, expecting to find the older man talking to the bellhop, who may have been bringing in dinner. Instead he found four people, one of whom Mulder was standing by racks of clothing talking to.

Mulder's eyes lit up as he looked across the room and found Alex standing uncertainly by the bathroom door.

"Here he is now."

Bewlidered green eyes looked from the man who was now approaching him to the others. "What's all this?" Alex asked as Mulder reached him and took his hand.

"This is for you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. Well...us." Mulder led the younger man over to the racks and stopped in front of the well dressed man. "Alex, this is Leroy. He runs the men's clothing shop downstairs."

Alex nodded at the man who had already begun assessing him then looked back to Mulder. "Why is he up here?"

Mulder gave Alex a soft smile, gently skimming his chin with his knuckles. "We're going out tomorrow night, and I thought it would be nice if we had something decent to wear."

"Mulder, you don't have to do this," Alex protested softly but was quickly shushed by the older man.

"I want to."

"You've already done plenty. There's no need for you to go spending money on clothes and take me to some fancy..."

"No sense in arguing," Mulder interrupted. "You're not going to win."

Alex gave in and let one of Leroy's people measure him then Mulder, then stood uncomfortably while he was presented with suit after suit.

"That one's nice," Mulder prodded gently when he finally realized that Alex wasn't going to make a choice without some encouragement.

"They're all nice," Alex said noncommittally.

"So, *pick* one."

Wary green eyes rose to Mulder's face. "You do it."

"It's your suit, Alex. You must have some preferences."

The younger man simply shook his head.

Mulder stepped in front of Alex, winding his arms around his waist as the others turned discreetly away.

"What is it?" He whispered, one hand now lightly caressing the other's back.

Alex's eyes dropped to the point where their chests touched. "I'm not...you shouldn't be spending all kinds of money on me."

Mulder focused on Alex's unfinished sentence. "You're not what?"

"Nothing."

"Alex..."

The younger man emitted a harsh sigh. "I'm not *worth* all this."

Mulder pulled the other more tightly against him and forced him to meet his eyes.

"I'm not crazy, Alex, and I'm not stupid. Therefore, by process of elimination, I must be right to be feeling and doing everything that I am. I *want* to dress you in beautiful clothes. I *want* to take you out for a nice evening. Please let me."

Alex closed his eyes, chewing on his lower lip.

//You *did* say you were going to stop fighting him, remember?//

He opened his eyes and nodded. "I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you."

"You haven't." Mulder grinned. "Just please do me a favor and pick out a damn suit."

Alex gave the older man a wary smile and returned to the clothing that had been laid out for him. Minutes later, he had chosen a midnight blue suit and periwinkle shirt that did incredible things to his eyes, and Mulder shooed him into the bathroom to try it on for size. When he re-emerged wearing the garments, Mulder's jaw visibly went slack.

Alex tossed an insecure look in the older man's direction then glanced away.

"You don't like it?"

Still unable to speak, Mulder stepped forward. Slowly, he brought a hand up and gently stroked the lapel of Alex's jacket. "Love it," he croaked, meeting the younger man's eyes. "You look...damn, Alex, you're gorgeous."

Alex listened to the breathless declaration, and his heart fluttered.

Jesus, if he didn't mean that, Mulder was a better actor than he was.

"It's..." Alex looked down at the sleeves of the jacket, not knowing how to respond. "I think the sleeves are a little too long."

Leroy stepped forward, shooing Mulder to the side.

"Yes," he affirmed Alex's observation. "The sleeves are a smidge long. We can fix that in no time, but..." He walked around the young man, tugging and smoothing. "The rest of it is flawless. It's almost as though this suit was made for you."

Alex glanced over Leroy's head and met the eyes that refused to look anywhere but at him. He shifted from one foot to the other, suddenly feeling the temperature in the room spike several degrees.

"He looks wonderful," Leroy nodded, fussing proudly with his garments.

"Stunning," Mulder murmured, wishing at this moment that everyone would just disappear.

"Well now, Mr. Mulder," Leroy spoke up, cutting through the heat. "I believe you've yet to chose something."

"Yeah," Mulder answered softly, unwilling to look away from the vision before him. "Help me pick something?" he asked the younger man, again stepping in front of him.

"As soon as he changes," Leroy interrupted, measuring the length of sleeve to be altered. "We must get these sleeves fixed if he's going to wear this tomorrow."

Reluctantly, Mulder let Alex be herded into the bathroom, and when he came back minutes later, he was mildly surprised that the older man looked at him with the same predatory gleam in his eyes as was there such a short time ago.

"Help me now?"

Alex gave him an almost shy smile and, for the first time didn't stand passively while Mulder took his hand. He reached out, taking the proffered hand and followed the other man back to the racks of suits.

"What d'you think?" Mulder asked, standing behind the younger man, gently massaging his shoulders and nuzzling his hair.

//I think I can't concentrate with you doing that...//

"I...I don't know," Alex began, trying to focus on the clothing. "Like you said to me, it's *your* suit."

Mulder sensed his difficulty and backed off a bit. "I know, but you've apparently got very good taste. Come on, help me pick something."

Ten minutes later, the two men agreed on a cocoa colored suit and a pale sage shirt, and Mulder modeled the clothing for the younger man.

As Leroy swooped in to check the fit, Alex looked Mulder up and down.

"It's good?" Mulder asked.

Alex nodded silently, letting his eyes do the talking for him.

"The waist needs to be taken in a pinch, and the jacket too. Nothing major."

Leroy's announcement went unheard by the two who had again lost themselves in each other's eyes.

Alex wanted to speak. He wanted to tell Mulder how positively exquisite he looked, but the words couldn't make it past the lump that had formed in his throat. All he could do was stare longingly at the older man wishing that Leroy and his entourage would take their racks and their suits and get the hell out.

"You may change now, Mr. Mulder," Leroy instructed, stepping away and handing Alex's suit to the nearest assistant. He then shooed the rest of his staff out of the room, ordering them to take the racks with them then waited with Alex as Mulder gave the younger man one more smoldering look and disappeared into the bathroom.

"Very handsome," Leroy said by way of conversation when he and Alex were left alone. "You make a magnificent couple..."

The rest of Leroy's words faded as Alex considered his last observation

The man thought that they were a couple. As in partners...boyfriends. God...lovers.

He liked the thought of that.

He and Mulder...Fox...lovers.

"I'm sorry?"

Alex blinked at the man as if coming out of a trance. "Hmm?"

"You said something. It was very soft, but it sounded like the word fox?"

Alex was about to attempt to blow the man off when Mulder emerged from the bathroom, suit draped over his arm. He looked from one man to the other then handed the suit to Leroy.

"Very good, Mr. Mulder. I'll have them both up to you by three tomorrow?"

"Three will be fine, thank you."

The man left, and Mulder turned to Alex, casting a soft smile in his direction. "Looking forward to going out, yet?"

"Yeah," Alex almost whispered. "I think I am."

Mulder nodded then fell silent for a moment before changing the subject. "Would you do something for me?"

Alex eyed the older man warily. "Okay."

Mulder moved forward, stopping when their bodies just barely touched. "Would you call me Fox?"

//Shit, did he hear?//

"You hate your first name," Alex answered, unable to look the other man in the eye.

"I think I would like hearing you say it." Mulder replied in a low, smoky voice that left Alex trembling. He tried to appear as nonchalant as he could, giving Mulder a blank stare and shrugging.

"Okay..."

Mulder waited, sucking on his lower lip.

"...Fox..."

He hadn't meant for it to come out the way it did, but even to him the single word sounded...seductive. He expelled a ragged breath, watching the green and gold of Mulder's...Fox's eyes practically disappear behind discs of black.

"I was right."

Alex cocked his head curiously.

Fox's tongue crept out, swiping at the small area of flesh his teeth had been worrying before disappearing back inside.

"I do like it."

Alex nodded, dropping his gaze to the bit of carpet between them.

Damn, he was so close.

Fox wanted so much to touch him. Not the brief, relatively innocent touches that he'd confined himself to since taking Alex from the warehouse, but lingering, arousing touches. Touches that led to...

And he couldn't. Alex was still too vulnerable, his wounds too new. There was no way in hell Fox would risk re-injuring him.

"You hungry?" he asked, trying to diffuse some of the tension and get his own mind off of wrapping himself around the younger man and throwing him down on the bed. "We didn't have any lunch..."

"Umm..." Alex rubbed his sweaty palms briskly over his jeans. "...yeah. I guess I am."

"Okay." Fox gave Alex a quick smile and moved around him. He grabbed for the hotel directory and flipped to the room service menu. "What do we feel like?"

The two men spent the rest of the evening picking at dinner, making small talk and watching television. When Alex started to fade just before midnight, Fox attempted to coax him to bed.

"No," he argued softly. "Just give me a pillow, and I'll crash here on the couch."

"Uh uh. No way."

"It's comfortable enough."

"Alex, I'm not letting you sleep on the couch. Come on, up. Get to bed." He hesitated for a moment then, "I'll take the couch."

"No..."

"Don't argue."

"You shouldn't have to sleep on the couch in your own hotel room.  There's..." Alex stopped, moistening his lower lips. "There's room enough....it's a big bed and...and we shared it last night..."

A smile twitched at the corner of Fox's mouth. "I...I didn't...I didn't think you wanted to."

"Well," Alex reasoned, "You're not going to let me sleep on the couch, and I'm not going to let *you* sleep on the couch, so..."

"Oh." The smile remained. "Okay, let's get some sleep."

Minutes later the two men lay side by side, each trying for all he was worth to appear unruffled by the nearness of the other.

Finally, over half an hour later, Fox turned onto his side, facing the younger man in the darkness.

"Alex?"

"...Yeah?"

"I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No. I'm awake."

"You were so tired a little while ago."

"I know."

"What happened?"

"I don't...not sure. I just can't sleep now."

"Any idea why?"

Alex turned onto his side, facing the older man and shook his head. He paused for several seconds, then tentatively he raised a hand to Fox's cheek, tracing the general area where he had slugged him.

"I'm sorry I hit you."

Fox shrugged, smiling in the dark. "I gotta admit, you shocked me, but I guess I had it coming."

"No you didn't," Alex answered just above a whisper.

The two went quiet for a moment, then Fox again spoke up.

"You sure you don't want me to move to the couch?"

"No," Alex answered quickly, knowing that having Mul...Fox...sleeping clear across the room would be a worse torture than having him this close. At least here, he could feel the other man's warmth. Hear him breathing...smell him...

"No?"

"It...it wouldn't help."

Tentatively, Fox moved closer and wound an arm around Alex's waist, gently pulling him into the warmth of his body, petting and stroking the tense flesh.

"Will this?"

//God. Oh, God...//

Cursing himself but unable to stop, Alex turned into the older man's heat and tucked his head under the stubbled chin. "Maybe," he whispered on a soft sigh, closing his eyes. It amazed him the way his body automatically relaxed under Fox's tender care. Before he could actually realize what he was saying, he uttered a sleepy statement.

"It wasn't the rain."

"Hmm?"

"Wasn't rain or cold that made me leave D.C."

Fox remained silent, waiting for Alex to finish.

"Was you."

"Why me? ...Alex?"

Fox pulled back and looked down at the younger man.

Out.

He drew Alex back into his arms and lay pondering the meaning of his statement until hours later, sleep came to claim him as well.

********************

Breakfast downstairs this morning.

Fox had coaxed Alex down to the dining room, and the two sat surrounded by elegance as the younger man shredded a croissant to bits.

Fox watched until all of the pastry was lying in tiny pieces in Alex's plate, then he spoke.

"If you're uncomfortable with being down here, we can go back up to the room."

Alex abandoned his slouch and drew himself up in the chair. "No. I'm sorry, I'm not uncomfortable." His eyes left the warm, gold-splashed gaze and settled on his plate. "Guess I'm just a little preoccupied."

"Yeah? What with?"

With the fact that he had awakened this morning to find Fox flat on his back, and himself sprawled, very comfortably, apparently, over most of the older man's body.

As his cock had swelled rapidly to attention, he'd tried to ease himself off of Fox and back onto the mattress, but before he could do so, Fox had uttered a soft grumble of protest, and his arms had wrapped stubbornly around Alex, holding him prisoner.

Left with not much of a choice, Alex had relaxed and allowed himself the luxury of enjoying the feel of their bodies pressed together so intimately. His heart had pounded out a frantic rhythm as he'd felt the other man's cock harden and push insistently against his own, and just as his hips had begun a gentle rocking motion, Fox had sighed and opened his eyes.

Alex had frozen, staring down into eyes, that in the diffused morning light looked like a soft gray. Fox had said good morning to him, and the soft, sleep-roughened voice sent a surge of warmth flooding through his interior.

He'd waited to see what Fox would do, and when the older man had simply planted a kiss on his chin and gently rolled him onto the mattress, he'd struggled to conceal his disappointment. But a second look into Fox's eyes had revealed frustration there as well.

Putting a few inches distance between them, Fox had asked how he felt, and did he sleep well, and suggested that they go down to the dining room for breakfast.

Still gripped by disappointment, Alex went along with the suggestion, and now here they sat...him ripping his breakfast all to hell, and Fox wondering what was up.

"Alex?"

Alex shook his head and smiled at the concerned man. "Nothing, just...just wondering when you're going to tell me where we're going tonight."

//Good save.//

"Got you worried?"

"No, I'm just curious."

Fox set his cranberry juice down and tilted his head to a slight angle. "Curiosity has got you mangling that croissant like that?"

The younger man shrugged.

"Well...at the risk of seeing what you do to your lunch, I'm not telling you."

Alex rested his chin in his hand, studying the other. "What's the big secret?"

"I just want to surprise you, is that okay?"

Another shrug. "I guess."

"Thank you." Fox picked up a spoon and held it out to the other man.

"What's this for?" Alex asked, taking the spoon.

Fox gave the younger man one of his patented Mulder smirks. "You'll need it for your croissant."

Though it had started out rather shakily, breakfast ended on a good note, and the two spent the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon exploring within the general vicinity of the hotel. They returned just before their clothing was delivered, and at around seven p.m., Fox suggested that they start getting ready for their night out.

Alex showered first then changed, checking his appearance in the full length bathroom mirror before walking out into the other room.

Fox watched Alex move across the floor, his eyes not missing out on a single detail. From the ends of his glistening hair to his sinfully expensive Italian shoes, the man was perfect. A magnificent God at whose feet Fox would gladly throw himself. But, in the interest of not freaking him out completely, Fox maintained his cool.

"You look better today than you did yesterday, and that's saying a whole lot."

"Yeah," Alex mumbled, making as little as possible of the other man's declaration. "Says your eyesight is getting worse."

Fox merely shook his head and walked in the direction of the bathroom.

"I'll be out in a few."

Twenty minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom, showered, shaven and quite stunning in his new clothes.

After a brief hesitation, Alex approached silently, making a minor adjustment to the sage neck tie then looked up and directly into the older man's eyes. Not a word was spoken, but the heat that passed between them said plenty.

Knowing how such an action would end up, Fox stamped down the temptation to drag Alex up against him and kiss him senseless. Instead, he took the younger man's hand and led him out of the room and into the hall.

Alex walked quietly beside Fox trying to understand why, when the other man's every action and expression indicated that he wanted him, he wouldn't allow himself the pleasure.

They reached the elevator and boarded the empty car, Fox pushing the button for the lobby. When the doors closed he turned to Alex, concern prompting the question he asked.

"Are you up to this?"

Alex studied him curiously, his disappointment for a moment, forgotten.

"Up to it?"

"Yeah. You're feeling okay? You're not uncomfortable? I'm sorry, I should have asked earlier."

"Oh. No, I'm fine."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. Don't worry so much."

A light went on.

He was *worried*. *That's* why he was so reticent about putting them in any inescapable sexual situations...

"It's only been a couple of days."

"Yeah, but the discomfort is really minor. I took a couple of Motrin while you were in the shower. It should start working soon, and then I won't feel a thing."

Fox shook his head. "I should have asked you, I...I shouldn't have made all these plans without..."

They reached the ground floor, and the doors opened up. Alex stepped out and took the older man's hand, tugging him into the lobby.

"I'm all right."

Fox eyed him intently, trying to decide whether or not to believe him.

Alex stepped forward, letting their bodies touch.

"Fox..."

Fox's breath caught in his throat as Alex whispered his name.

Jesus, was the mere utterance of his name supposed to do *this* to him? His cock, which had been erect for some time now began to throb, and his heart pounded in identical rhythm...

Fox moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue and cleared the gravel from his throat. "Yeah?"

Alex lowered his head until it almost touched the other man's shoulder. "You said you'd take me out. I really do want to go."

Fox brought a trembling hand up to the other man's back, stroking lightly. "Okay, but...promise you'll tell me if you get tired or too uncomfortable."

Alex lifted his head and gave Fox a slow, seductive smile. "I promise."

Fox returned the smile and led the younger man through the lobby and out the front door, where the doorman stood smiling.

"Hello, gentlemen. So nice to see you both...together..." He grinned at Fox then directed his next words to Alex. "You look well."

"Yeah, uh...thanks."

"He helped me get you up to the room that night," Fox explained to the curious man. "He also sort of talked me into going after you when you had left here a few hours before."

Alex nodded his acknowledgment.

The doorman gave them both a warm smile then walked toward the limousine idling at the curb. He opened the door and executed a shallow bow.

"Have a good evening, gentlemen."

Alex looked from the car to Fox then back again.

"This is for us?"

"Yep."

Alex looked back at the car, shaking his head. "You just went all out, didn't you?"

"Did the best I could on short notice." Fox ushered the younger man to the waiting car, and when they were both comfortably seated inside, the doorman gave them a wink and shut the door, closing them off to the rest of the world.

Planting himself in the middle of the long seat, Fox draped his arms over the leather back and smiled at the man who sat a scant few inches away.

"I think the only time I've ever been in a limo was when my grandmother died." He looked around at the lush appointments. "This is nice." His dark gaze fell back on the other man. "It looks damn good on you."

Alex accepted the compliment with a demure smile and continued his perusal of their surroundings.

"Did you order champagne?" he asked, nodding at the bottle he spotted.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot." Fox pitched forward to retrieve the bottle, but a gentle hand on his chest settled him back into the leather.

"Let me," Alex insisted softly, reaching for the bottle.

Fox relaxed against the seat, watching every graceful move as Alex opened the bottle, located the two flutes nestled nearby, and poured the sparkling liquid. He accepted the offered glass, touching the rim to Alex's, then took a healthy sip as he watched the younger man's lips slide over the edge of the flute, wishing for all he was worth that it was the head of his cock...

//You're never going to make it through the rest of this night thinking thoughts like that. Cut it out. You know at least for a while longer, he's off limits.//

Alex drew the crystal away from his mouth, noting the look of hunger in Fox's eyes. Averting his gaze, he slowly licked the moisture away from his lips before turning an innocent stare on the older man.

"Very good," he commented almost inaudibly, again raising the glass to his mouth. Knowing that Fox couldn't tear his attention away if he wanted to, Alex closed his eyes and tipped his head back, draining the remainder of the liquid.

Inwardly dying, Fox watched that mouth. Imagined it kissing a moist trail up the inside of his thigh...grazing his aching balls before sliding down over the entire length of his cock...

//Godamn it, have you *no* self control?//

//Yes, as a matter of fact I do. If I *didn't*, he wouldn't be wearing a stitch of clothing right now.//

He tossed the rest of his champagne back and reached for the bottle.

"Yeah, it's great." He filled his glass. "More?"

Alex nodded, and he filled the younger man's glass as well, stopping just before the point of overflowing.

"Whoa," Alex purred, grinning at the other. "You trying to get me drunk?"

"What? Oh...no, I'm..."

"It's not necessary," Alex said, the offer blatantly seductive as he moved closer to Fox's warmth.

//Holy shit.//

Fox took another gulp of champagne and, before he could come up with an adequate answer, his cell phone rang.

A blessing or a curse, he couldn't decide.

Alex slumped against the seat as Fox reached into the inside pocket of his jacket.

"Sorry, I...Mulder...Scully, what do you....yeah, I know I haven't called you, but I've been kind of...yeah. Yes, Scully, I *told* you he was...yeah...I....look, Scully, now really isn't a very good time to talk...because it *isn't*. *No*, we're not..."

Though he wished with all of his heart and soul that they were...

"...We're on our way out for the evening. Okay, if you want to call it that...yes, so you've told me." Fox risked a glance at his quiet companion.

Alex sat sipping his champagne and watching the lights outside pass by as he tried to mask his growing frustration.

"Scully, listen, I really have to go now. Yeah, I'll call you later. Yeah, I *know* I said that before, but I will. Oh, for....yes, I *promise*...all right, then...yeah....goodnight."

Fox disconnected and dropped the phone down on the seat with a hard sigh. He turned an apologetic gaze on the younger man.

"I'm sorry, she just..."

"You don't have to apologize to me," Alex said, trying his best to smile. "She's your partner. She's worried about you."

"She doesn't need to be. I tell her that, but she won't listen."

"She probably would if it was anyone else you were with. But it's *me*, you know?"

"But I *told* her."

"That's not good enough."

"It ought to be."

"Well..." Alex turned to face Fox, letting his hand sweep over the older man's lower thigh. "Don't think about that now. Tonight, let's just..." He stopped in mid sentence, groaning softly as he felt the limousine glide to a stop and heard the driver's door open.

"Guess we're here," Fox announced softly, putting his glass down as the driver opened the back door. He slid across the seat and stepped out of the car, waiting by the door as Alex exited the vehicle, then the two walked side by side to the entrance of the restaurant.

The maitre'd looked over his glasses as the door opened, and the handsome young couple approached. He gave them a quick once-over then raised his head.

"Good evening," he offered, a hint of stuffiness in his tone. "Do you have reservations?"

"Of course," Fox threw back, adopting the other man's attitude. "The name is Mulder."

The man sniffed and looked down into his book.

"Ah! Yes, yes, Mr. Mulder. Here you are. The room is all ready, if you'll please follow me..."

Alex looked curiously to Fox as they swept through the main dining room.

"Room?"

Fox smiled and placed a hand at the small of Alex's back, guiding him in the maitre'd's wake to the private room at the back of the restaurant. The other man opened the door and strode into the room, standing to one side as the couple entered.

"I think you'll find that your instructions have been followed to the letter," the maitre'd announced as Alex left Fox's side and wandered slowly around the room, taking note of the strategically placed candles and elegant decor.

He stopped in front of a large, crystal bowl overflowing with full blown white roses, gently fingering the soft petals. He met the older man's eyes, too overcome to speak.

"It's perfect, thank you," Fox murmured to the maitre'd, never taking his eyes off of Alex.

"Very good, sir. Enjoy your champagne and the appetizers, and dinner will be served in approximately forty-five minutes."

Fox nodded his acknowledgment, not really noticing when the man left the room, so focused was he on his companion.

"So," he began, not moving from the spot in which he stood, "you like it?"

Alex released the rose he'd held in a gentle grip and slowly approached the other man.

Fox's eyelashes fluttered, but he fought to keep the lids up as Alex's hands slid up the lapels of his jacket and over his shoulders.

"I love it," the younger man whispered. "I can't believe you did all this."

"I just made a few phone calls," Fox breathed, drowning in the green of Alex's eyes. "Other people did all the work."

"But...that you would even think of it..." Alex wound his arms around Fox's neck, staring intently at him.

The full lips trembled into a smile. "Guess you bring out the romantic in me."

Alex laughed softly at the absurdity of the statement and turned his face away, only to be drawn back by Fox's hand cupping his cheek.

"I know that sounds crazy, not to mention pretty damn sappy," Fox said, tapping into his thoughts. "But what other reason could there be for this?"

"I don't know," Alex whispered, pulled back into the haze of sensuality that enveloped them. "But..." He pressed ever closer, letting Fox feel every aroused inch of him. "...Thank you."

He couldn't do it. He'd tried so hard, but...

Fox tightened his arms around the younger man.

Just one kiss. He had to...had to taste him...

Alex emitted a contented sigh as Fox's mouth closed over his. His fingers curled into the material of the older man's jacket as his lips were teased apart and Fox's tongue crept into his mouth. He opened a bit wider, his tongue eagerly meeting the other's, seducing it into bolder action, and then....

He opened his eyes and stared dumbfounded as Fox released his mouth and pulled away.

Fox attempted a smile as he fought to control his respiration.

"Hey, how about some appetizers?" He led the stunned younger man to the table.

Alex blinked rapidly, trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened...or what Fox had stopped from happening.

"Um...yeah," he mumbled trying to focus on the elegant display of food.

"You know, I couldn't begin to guess what half this stuff is," Fox rambled, "but it all looks really good."

Alex stood quietly, fingers drawing erratic designs on the tablecloth, eyes open but staring at nothing in particular.

Fox watched him for a bit, unsure of what to do next, then he pulled out a chair for the younger man and asked him if he'd like to sit.

As if in a trance, Alex turned and lowered himself into the chair, watching as Fox took his own seat. The older man plucked a canapé from the nearest plate and bit into it. He smiled and nodded at Alex, holding the other half in front of his mouth.

Alex accepted the offering, carefully avoiding any contact with the other man's fingers.

Fox sensed the tension that had suddenly filled the room and cursed himself to hell and back.

//You had to kiss him, didn't you? *Now* look at the spot you're in.//

Deciding that distraction was the best thing, he ventured to engage Alex in conversation.

"So...see anybody famous since you've been in L.A.?"

"Not really," Alex sighed. "Well...a couple maybe."

"Yeah? Who?"

The younger man shrugged. "You know that guy from that detective show that was on t.v. a few years ago...can't remember the name of it now...mid forties, well built, blonde...always had a flock of women buzzing around him in every show..."

Fox's brow crinkled. "I don't think I recall. I mean, that could be any one of a handful of shows."

"In this show's opening credits it shows him jumping off a roof while like, five bad guys are firing at him...he falls right into the front seat of a sports car, and he takes off with some chick in tight leather driving..."

"Ohhh, yeah. That stupid show lasted two seasons, didn't it?"

Alex nodded. "No accounting for taste, I guess."

"Where'd you see him?"

Alex's gaze fell away from the older man's. "He picked me up one night."

It was Fox's turn to drop his gaze.

"Oh."

Knowing that he had made Fox uncomfortable but for some sick reason unable to stop himself, he went on.

"Then there was the older guy from that kid's show with the life sized puppets. You know, the one who always wears the old, beat up soft hat and preaches about kind deeds and good dental hygiene. He never extols the virtues of leather masks and nipple clamps, though. I wonder why..."

Fox sat quietly, staring down at his folded hands.

//Nice job, ungrateful fuck. He won't throw you up on the table and bang you into next week, so you do *this*?//

Alex bent over, touching his forehead to his knees, and took a deep breath. He released it as he straightened up and reached out to cover Fox's hands with one of his own.

"Fox..."

Mournful, hazel eyes rose to meet his.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You planned this wonderful night, and I just go and..."

"I asked," Fox interrupted softly, "and you told me."

"You didn't need to hear the details. I don't know why I didn't just shut up."

"It's all right." Fox drew himself up into a more dignified posture. "You can tell me anything you want to about your life out here. I can't promise you I'll like hearing it, but I won't pass judgment on you."

Jesus, was this man for real?

"Chanmpagne?"

Alex nodded, and Fox poured two glasses of sparkling liquid, handing him one. The two sat making relatively light conversation as they drank their champagne and nibbled on the appetizers until the main course came.

The harmless conversation continued through dinner and dessert, and by the time they were ready to leave the restaurant, both men were again in good spirits.

As they fell into the waiting limousine, Alex groaned, complaining good-naturedly.

"Oh my God, I don't think I've ever eaten in a whole week as much as I ate tonight."

"Good," Fox droned, slouching back against the seat as the car pulled away from the curb. "You could stand a few pounds."

One sable eyebrow arched upward. "What makes you say that?"

"You've never been this slim before. Not since I've known you, anyway."

"You're telling me you actually noticed?"

Fox closed his eyes and nodded. "Isn't much about you I *haven't* noticed."

"I don't know whether to be flattered or scared," Alex mused.

"You said I didn't scare you," Fox reminded him.

"I think I might be changing my mind," Alex told him. "Any man who notices another man's weight gains and losses is just damn frightening."

Fox opened one eye and grinned at the younger man. "If it makes you feel any better, you can chalk it up to my photographic memory."

"Somehow it doesn't. Hey...where are we going?" Alex glanced out the window then back to Fox. "This isn't the way back to the hotel."

"We're not *going* back to the hotel yet."

"Another surprise?"

"Mmm hmm." Fox sat up a bit. "Unless you're tired."

"I'm not tired."

"Would you tell me if you were?"

"Yes, I would." Alex stifled a giggle. "Besides, Spooky, wouldn't you be able to tell from the number of lines around my eyes or something?"

Fox again closed his eyes and settled back against the seat, smirking.

"Fuck you, Krycek."

********************

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