Fox was proud of himself tonight.

Fabulous clothes, three block long limousine, elegant restaurant.

Cool jazz club that its patrons had to descend eight steps to get to...

The couple entered the dimly lit club, immediately appreciating the band playing. Fox gave his name to the host, and they were led to a reserved table at the back of the deceptively large club.

Alex looked around, taking note of the couples on the dance floor and those seated at the tables, and sent Fox a surprised look.

The older man smiled, shaking his head. "You wouldn't believe what I went through to find a place like this."

"Why *did* you?"

"Because," Fox explained, curling his arm around the younger man's shoulders. "I wanted to find someplace where we could dance and not be stared at."

"Dance?"

"Yeah, you know, like they're doing," Fox said with amusement, pointing at the two men in the middle of the dance floor, draped over each other.

"But they're barely moving."

"Okay, bad example." Fox pointed to another couple to the right of the other men. "Like them."

Alex turned to face the older man. "You want to dance with me?"

"You sound so shocked. Why wouldn't I want to?"

"I don't know," Alex murmured, turning his attention back to the couples on the dance floor. "I guess I just didn't think about it."

Fox caught a passing waiter and ordered a couple of drinks then slid closer to Alex, gently combing his fingers through the hair at the back of the younger man's head.

"They're very good," he commented, watching the quartet perform. "Been a long, long time since I've heard really good live jazz."

"Yeah," Alex breathed, eyes closed as he reveled in the other man's touch.

Fox just barely heard the response and looked in Alex's direction. A smile curved his lips as he observed the blissful expression on the incredibly handsome face. He battled the urge to lean in and kiss the slightly parted mouth, and fortunately got a little help as the waiter appeared with their drinks.

Alex opened his eyes reluctantly and picked his drink up as Fox removed his hand from his hair to pay the server. He raised the glass to his lips, perusing the scenery, and the first thing that caught his attention was a good looking couple two tables over, kissing and groping like there was no tomorrow.

"Oh, God," he whispered, continuing to watch through a curtain of dark lashes as one of the two unbuttoned the other's pants and worked his hand inside. The lucky man broke the kiss and let his drop against the back of the seat, panting and squirming as his partner brought him along with quick, firm strokes. His body stiffened, and Alex could hear the faint sounds of his pleasure above the music as he came. As his lover cleaned him up with a wad a napkins, he pressed closer, practically climbing into the other man's lap, and nuzzling his throat contentedly.

Alex released a soft, agonized moan and turned, only to come face to face with Fox, who had obviously been watching the show as well. There was an uncomfortable silence for too many seconds, then Fox gave him an almost apologetic smile.

"I guess they're very laid back here."

"Guess so," Alex croaked, glancing again at the two, who were now kissing and tenderly stroking each other. He took another sip of his drink and returned his attention to the band.

Fox watched the two for another moment, then his gaze leveled on Alex.

"Let's dance."

Alex hesitated then put his glass down and followed Fox out onto the dance floor, where the older man wrapped him in his arms and began to move effortlessly to the music.

"Pretty good rhythm for a white boy," Alex commented, trying to recapture the light mood of only a little while ago.

"Thanks, homey," Fox tossed back quickly, making the younger man laugh.

"Fox, there's white, and then there's white."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Where were you raised?"

"Martha's Vineyard. So?"

"I rest my case."

"Means nothing. Where were *you* raised?"

"I'm a ghetto rat."

Fox raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"And believe me, American ghettos got nothin' on Russia."

"Were you born there?"

"No. I was born here. My father's work visa expired, and he and my mother had to go back soon after they had me. I came back at the age of ten with my uncle and aunt. They were able to send for my parents in the early eighties, and we all lived together in a tiny apartment in south Philly. Damn, we were poor."

"But you were determined. You had to be. You made it through school. Went to college..."

"Yeah. I didn't want for them to have to struggle all their lives. I wanted to make a decent living...take care of them." Alex's eyes lowered to Fox's tie. "They died before I could do that."

"What happened?"

"Father had a heart attack. My mother, aunt and uncle died in the apartment almost a year later. Someone set fire to the place while everyone was asleep one cold night. I was at the academy. They woke me up at three in the morning to tell me..."

By this time, Fox had stopped their movement. He stood in the middle of the floor, holding the younger man.

"I had no idea. Jesus, Alex, I'm so sorry."

Alex shrugged. "Thanks. It was tough, but I dealt with it." He looked up into solemn, hazel eyes. "This conversation isn't exactly conducive to having a good time."

Not wanting to push the issue, Fox nodded and, holding the younger man a little closer, again began to sway to the music.

Alex let the warmth of Fox's body and the comfort of his touch wash away the memories. He lowered his head to the older man's shoulder, sliding his hands up under Fox's jacket and clutching at his shirt as Fox held him tightly. Drowning in contentment, he wondered how, when the time came he was going to be able to walk away.

Maybe they could see each other on occasion. He could fly out to D.C. and...

Alex squeezed his eyes shut, burrowing deeper into Fox's warmth.

Not enough. One *night* away from this man would already be one night too many. And the longer they dragged this fantasy out, the more it would hurt when it was over.

//You can't let go now. You promised him you'd go to the mountains with him. You can't go back on your word. Besides, any suffering you do is well deserved. All the suffering you've caused *him* over the years...//

Fox was in heaven.

No murderous mutants, no expense reports to fill out.

Good music.

The one man he'd already decided he'd ever want wrapped in his arms, clinging to him as if he never wanted to let go...

He pressed a kiss to Alex's temple, his hand moving in a slow, sensuous line up and down the other man's back.

God, yeah. Paradise.

********************

Dark eyes wandered around the club, checking out the inhabitants as they drank, talked, danced. They paused every now and again on a particularly attractive subject then continued to scan the crowd.

"Find one yet?"

"A few, actually. I'm just trying to decide which one'll be the lucky guy."

Loud laugh.

"This from a man who has to pay hookers to touch him."

The dark-haired man glared at his friend but said nothing.

"So," the other clapped his hands together and sat back. "Who's it gonna be?"

The dark one cleared his throat and looked around once more. "I think..."

Before he could finish, his gaze focused on a couple he hadn't seen before.

"No way."

"What?"

The man squinted, watching the handsome couple sway gently to the music, coiled around each other like devoted lovers.

"*Will*. What the hell are you staring at?"

The dark man slid back in his seat, pointing to the men he was eyeing. "You see them?"

"I see a lot of people."

The other sighed impatiently. "*There*." He pointed again, letting his friend follow the direction of his finger.

"Yeah...I guess...tall guys? One dark, one a little lighter?"

"Yeah. Look at the dark one. You recognize him?"

"Wish I could say that I did but no, I don't."

"Remember about a month ago? That trip we took downtown..."

"Yeah, I...nooooo. Is that him?"

"Sure as hell looks like him."

The other nodded to the hooker's companion. "Think his boyfriend knows what he does?"

"I don't know, but it'd serve him right for him to find out after what he did to us."

"*Us*. Hey, *you're* the one who tried to bite him." The man started to laugh. "You're lucky to have escaped with your balls intact."

"That wasn't funny, man. I couldn't get it up for a week. I was starting to get scared. I think he deserves a little payback."

"*I* think you're nuts. What makes you think he won't fuck you up right here if you try and start some shit with him?"

Will shook his head. "I don't think so. Look at 'im, Pete. Look at his boyfriend. Check out the clothes. My guess? He's a guy from the other side of the tracks, who just happened to luck out with Daddy Big Bucks there. But his man spends a lot of time out of town. He's bored out of his mind, and for fun, he goes hustling downtown."

The other man laughed louder. "Okay, Stupendous Yappi..."

Will shook his head. "Scoff if you must, but I think it's a pretty good guess. Let's see how close I am."

In spite of his friend's strenuous protests and predictions of disaster, he rose from his seat and cut through the crowd, making his way over to the couple.

"S'cuse me."

The two men rocked together, completely oblivious to the one who was trying to get their attention.

"S'cuse meeee."

Golden brown lashes swept upward, and an annoyed amber splashed gaze focused on the outsider.

Will smiled. "I'm sorry to interrupt but...it's been driving me crazy. You know when you *know* that you've seen someone before but you can't place the face? Well, I finally got it."

Realizing that the pest wasn't going away any time soon, Alex opened his eyes and raised his head from Fox's shoulder. He turned his head to glare at the other man as he again spoke.

"I know you." He smiled at Alex. "I understand if you don't remember me, what with all the men you see every night..."

Alex felt his heart skip at least two beats, but he forced a quick recovery and gave the other man a haughty stare.

"What is it that you want?"

The other shrugged. "Nothing, it's just...like I was saying to your...friend, here, I was sitting over there at my table, and I knew I'd seen you before, but it took me a while to remember where." He glanced too quickly over at Fox to see the anger simmering in his eyes. "Just thought I'd come over and say hi. Are you working tonight?"

"No," Alex said softly, evenly through gritted teeth.

"Oh. If you were, I was going to ask if when you were done here, you might like to take on one more customer before you called it a night. But, since it's your day off, I guess I should leave you alone...unless you *want* to make a quick hundred..." He looked the two men up and down. "Although it doesn't look like you need it."

Fox's arms tightened possessively around the younger man. "Leave him alone."

The third man laughed softly. "Sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but...it's just a little funny, you know? I don't know how long you've known this man, but a shrinking violet he ain't. And to see somebody getting all protective over him is just too weird. He's as good at taking care of himself as he is at fucking..."

Before he could say another word, Fox had stepped away from Alex and wrapped his fingers around his throat.

"Maybe you didn't hear me the first time," he growled, his face close enough to the other man's that the vibration of his words could be felt across Will's paled lips. "Leave. Him. Alone. If I see you so much as looking in his direction, I'll tear you a new asshole. Understood?"

Eyes bulging as much from fear as from lack of air, the man managed a tiny nod, and Fox released him.

"Get lost. Now."

The vanquished intruder slunk back into the crowd, not daring to give Alex so much as another glance, and Fox turned back to the younger man, who stood quietly, looking down at the floor. Ignoring the stares of the people dancing around them, Fox slipped an arm around Alex's waist and pulled him close. The other hand slanted across his jaw, tipping his head up.

"Sorry," Alex croaked before Fox could say a word. "I didn't think, I didn't..."

"Didn't think what?"

"About anyone approaching me." Alex shook his head and looked away, unable to meet the other man's gaze for long. "It was bound to happen." He repeated the other man's words. "What with all the men I see every night..."

"Do you remember him?"

Alex shrugged. "He looks familiar. Troublemaker, if I remember correctly."

"Well," Fox murmured, tightening his arm around the other man, "he won't be making any trouble tonight."

Alex raised his eyes halfway, looking at the older man through his lashes. "You were all over him before I even got a chance to take a breath."

"I won't let anybody hurt you."

Alex's heart skipped a few more beats then began to pound. "He was right," he droned, again looking away. "I can take care of myself."

"I know you can," Fox said softly. "I'm sorry if I made it seem otherwise. It was just...a kneejerk reaction." It was his turn to look away. "Sorry."

"No." Alex wrapped his arms around Fox's back. "You don't have to apologize. It's just that I'm not used to anyone looking out for me but me. *And*...if it wasn't for you, I might have been killed a few days ago." He gave the older man a humble smile. "Maybe I can't take care of myself as well as I thought."

"Yeah, you can," Fox said reassuringly. "But there's nothing wrong with needing a little help once in a while."

Alex rested his head on the other's shoulder.

"Thank you."

Fox buried his face in the sable silk, inhaling the faint scent of the coconut shampoo Alex had used that day.

"My pleasure."

They spent another two hours at the club dancing, talking, sipping drinks, then Fox noticed that Alex had begun to look a bit weary.

Though Alex insisted that he was all right, Fox called for the limousine, and a short time later, they were on their way back to the hotel.

The two men sat side by side in companionable silence for a long while, then Alex cleared his throat and spoke up.

"I had a nice time tonight."

Fox gave him a soft smile. "Yeah? Me too. I'm sorry that idiot at the club
marred it a little."

Alex shrugged. "He wouldn't have been able to if I wasn't what I am. I'm the one who needs to be apologizing."

Fox's brow drew down into scowl. "What for?"

"For subjecting you to that." Alex looked away, his tone dripping with self loathing. "You take me out for an elegant night and end up being accosted by some guy I'd fucked for money...probably more than once..."

"He's not important," Fox murmured, turning the younger man to face him. "You don't need to think about him."

"How can I *not*? There are plenty more men out there like him, you know. Things like that'll probably happen almost everywhere we go. You shouldn't have to deal with that. You don't deserve to."

"Alex..."

The younger man looked up at the sound of his name.

"First of all," Fox began softly, "I know what you do. It's how I got you up to my room in the first place, remember?"

"Yeah, but..."

Fox shushed the other's attempt at protest and continued.

"And second, I know there are people out there who just would like to cause trouble. And I know there are those who are going to be stupid enough to proposition you right in front of me. I don't care. I'll handle the situations when and if they arise."

Alex shook his head. "You're supposed to be on vacation, Fox. Relaxing. Enjoying yourself, and what are you doing?"

Fox broke in with the answer.

"Exactly what I want to do."

"You can't tell me you *wanted* to come out here and get all tangled up with a spy turned hooker, who just happens to have been your worst enemy."

"I never would have thought of it on my own, no." Fox grinned at the other man. "But since it's happened, I won't say I'm sorry. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that I'm glad."

Alex stared at the older man, shaking his head. "You really are cracked."

The grin remained. "Would you want anything to do with me if I was sane and boring?"

Alex returned the smile. "Gorgeous as you are, I'd still have to say, probably not."

Hazel eyes twinkled. "You think I'm gorgeous?"

The smile faded a bit from Alex's mouth. "Always have."

"Guess I'm not the only one who's a little cracked."

Alex laughed softly, knowing that the modesty Fox was displaying was not just an act. He actually had no idea.

"I'm amazed. How can anybody who looks like you be so oblivious?"

Fox was just about to answer the question when the limo pulled up outside of the hotel. The door opened for them seconds later, and Alex slid out, followed closely by Fox.

"Have a nice evening?" the doorman asked as he preceded the men to the lobby door and pulled it open for them.

"Very nice, thanks," Fox answered, placing a hand at the small of Alex's back and guiding him into the lobby.

"I'm glad," the other called after them. "Enjoy the rest of your night."

Alex nodded his thanks, and the two walked to the elevators.

Having abandoned the conversation they'd been having in the car, they rode to the twelfth floor in silence, each man immersed in his own speculations about how this night would end. When the doors opened, they walked side by side to twelve-fourteen, and Fox opened the door, letting Alex walk in first. He shut the door then passed the now stationary younger man, smiling at him as he moved, and placed the room key down on a small table. Now looking for something more to do or say, he wandered over to the huge window, looking out over the city.

"Have you really had a good look out this window at night?" He asked lightly. "The view is spectacular."

"Yeah, it is," Alex agreed, removing his jacket. Fox turned to look at him, and he held the garment up. "I'm just gonna go hang this up and..." he motioned with his head in the direction of the bathroom.

Fox nodded and smiled then turned back to the window.

Alex hesitated for a moment then walked over to the closet and carefully draped the jacket over the wooden hanger. Running a hand over the deep blue material, he sighed, storing the memory of this night away into the deepest corner of his heart. Relentless time might take Fox away from him, but he'd have the memories of every second spent with him. His smell. The feel of his arms, so strong and comforting. The taste of those incredible lips...

And if they never saw each other again, he'd always be grateful to Fox for stealing him away from the sleaze and depravity of his world. Even if just for a little while, he felt good. He felt clean and worthy of more than he had told himself he deserved for all the harm he had caused over the years.

Alex shut the door and drifted into the bathroom recalling the anger he saw in the older man's eyes earlier tonight. It was the same rage he saw just a few nights before when he pulled his gun on Alex's would-be customer. He'd never seen Fox pissed at anyone but himself, and now, suddenly it was directed at someone else...in *his* defense. The realization sent his heart into a mad flutter.

For *him*.

It was sweet, and it was exciting, and for the first time in his adult life Alex had a taste of what it must be like to be genuinely cared for.

He splashed a little cold water on his face, patted the beads away with the towel that hung close by, then took a deep breath and walked back out to the room. He stopped when Fox came into view and watched the older man quietly.

Deep in thought, Fox stood looking out the window. So preoccupied was he that he didn't feel Alex's approach at all, but rather saw his reflection in the window as he moved slowly, undoing button after button on his shirt...

Fox's heart immediately began to beat double time, and he turned around to see that it was no illusion.

Alex ascended the two steps that separated the dining area from the rest of the room, and, slipping the last button through its corresponding hole, slithered out of his shirt and dropped it over the back of the closest chair. Feeling the growing heat of Fox's gaze, he maintained his pace, stalking slowly toward the older man. When he finally reached his destination, he paused for a moment, giving Fox a good long look, then  moved past him and pressed lightly against the window, bracing himself against the glass with his hands.

"It *is* beautiful from up here," he spoke softly, his voice a smoky caress. "You can't see all the ugliness from this far up...in the dark..."

Fox stared silently, awed by a sight that far surpassed the beauty of the city below.

Smooth skin marred only by the few remaining bruises inflicted days before, lent a soft glow by the dim light in the room. The taut muscles beneath flowing with the slightest movement...hypnotizing Fox, pushing him far past hungry and straight into starving.

His tongue passed over too dry lips as he imagined those muscles flexing beneath his wandering hands...that satiny skin, damp with sweat, sliding against his own as they made love in the bed only a few yards away...

Alex did a slow spin and fixed a laser-green gaze on the older man. When Fox made no move toward him, he stepped forward, stopping when their bodies were separated by a hair's breadth. He watched his own hands slide up the front of the other man's jacket then inside, pushing it away from his shoulders.

Fox rendered some assistance, shrugging out of the garment, but his eyes never left Alex's face. Somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice insisted that he put a stop to this before it went too far to turn back, but the rest of him was screaming...begging for exactly that.

//There's not just one way to do it, shithead. Suck each other off, for Christ's sake or, *hell*...let him fuck *you*.//

His cock throbbed at the thought.

//Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Hand him the reins. Let him have control...//

Alex's eyes rose again to Fox's face as he went to work on the necktie, undoing the knot at a leisurely pace. Once it hung loosely, he pulled it away, working it inch by inch from around Fox's collar, then discarded it.

Fox struggled to control his respiration as he felt his shirt buttons begin to pop open one by one. His eyes remained steadfastly focused on the sea of green in front of him until Alex leaned forward and ever so gently began to kiss the exposed skin of his throat and chest. A rush of breath escaped his lips carrying with it a soft curse, and his hands rose of their own accord to the younger man's hips...

Alex moaned at the sudden feel of Fox's hands on him, and the warm tingle they left in their wake as they wandered up over his hips and to his back, stroking and kneading the taut flesh. As he continued in his efforts to rid Fox of his shirt, his tongue crept past his lips, caressing the older man's skin, learning its texture and taste. He felt a low groan rumble in Fox's chest, and the sound only served to feed his courage.

Alex pulled the shirt out of Fox's pants, undid the last few buttons, then tugged it off and sent it to join the rest of the discarded clothing on the chair. He stepped back for a fraction of a minute, admiring the older man's upper body, then moved in to worship it with his mouth.

Fox's head fell back, and his lips parted on a long, coarse sigh as Alex began to lovingly bathe him with his tongue. He felt his knees weakening and his cock threatening to punch a hole through his pants, but he held on, remaining on his feet while Alex moved down to one tight nipple, gently nipping and pulling at it.

"Oh, God," he whispered, inclining his head and nuzzling the younger man's hair. "God, Alex, what are you doing to me?"

As Alex teased first one nipple then the other, he began to work on Fox's belt and zipper.

"Just trying to thank you," he whispered against the rigid, brown peak before sucking it into his mouth.

Through the haze of overpowering lust, the words made it through to Fox's brain.

"Thank me?"

Alex nodded then sank to his knees. "For a night I'll always remember."

A frown wrinkled the older man's brow as Alex worked his pants down and nuzzled the aching bulge in his underwear. He took several steadying gulps of air then a step backward.

"I...I wasn't expecting any kind of repayment from you for tonight."

"It's all right," Alex replied. "I want to."

"But *I* don't want you to." Fox grasped Alex by his upper arms and pulled him to his feet.

Confusion and hurt clouded Alex's eyes. "You did not more than a minute ago."

"Yes. God, yes, but not for your reasons. I didn't take you out tonight expecting sex as a reward."

"I know you didn't," Alex murmured. "I'd expect that from anyone *but* you." He ran his hands lightly over Fox's chest. "But I know you want me. I'd have to be stupid not to know. I also know you won't ask. You don't have to." His hands slid around to Fox's back, stroking gently as he nuzzled the stubbled jaw. "I'm offering."

"I can't accept your offer," Fox broke from Alex's loose grip. "Not on these terms."

Alex let his hands drop from Fox's back and stepped away. That dejected look had returned to his eyes.

"What terms?"

"This 'you do something for me, I do something for you' bit. You owe me nothing, Alex."

"I owe you plenty."

"*No*. You *don't*."

"I *do*," the younger man argued. "I've done so much to you. Things I'll regret for the rest of my life, and..." He lowered his head, eyelashes fluttering rapidly. "Here you are. You saved my ass when you should have killed me yourself. You took care of me even though I didn't make it easy for you to...you bought me expensive clothes, took me out...treated me like I was somebody worthwhile. And I don't owe you for that?"

"*No*," Fox answered adamantly.

"Why *not*?" Alex grated, spinning around and stalking back toward the window.

"Why do you feel you *have* to?" Fox yelled back, following in the younger man's wake.

"*Because*!" Alex whirled back to face Fox. "That's they way it works. It's what I know!"

"It might be what you know, Alex, but that *isn't* the way it works. Reciprocation isn't necessary when two people care about each other. I just...I wanted to have a nice night with you. You know...talk...get to know each other..."

Fox looked into the dulled green eyes, hoping for understanding. He cupped the younger man's cheek, letting his thumb rasp over the smooth chin. "I don't want from you what every other man wants. Well...yeah, I guess I do, but that isn't all. I want so much more."

Alex stared at the older man, genuinely confused. "What more can you want from me?"

Fox stepped forward, taking Alex into his arms. "You're a smart man, Krycek, but incredibly thick when you want to be. I want everything you've got to give me. I want a relationship with you. Whole. Not just sex."

Alex thought his heart would pound straight through his chest. "How can you say that? How can you know..."

"After only a few days with you? I don't know. I wish I could tell you. But I meant it the other night when I told you I wanted you in more ways than I could count, and I still mean it."

Sable eyelashes fluttered then dropped over downturned eyes. "I...I don't..."

"What?" Fox asked, afraid he'd gone too far. "You don't want to?"

Alex shook his head, still looking at the floor. "I don't know how."

Fox shrugged and let a tiny smile curve his lips. "Me either. We can learn together." The smile faded a bit. "If you want."

Alex hesitated, remaining silent for so long it started to make Fox nervous. Then finally he looked up into the older man's eyes.

"I think I'd like that."

Fox nodded, grinning and pulled the other against his chest. "You and me," he whispered lovingly.

"Sounds crazy when you say it."

Fox could tell Alex was smiling. "Insane. And I couldn't be happier."

The younger man's smile faded. "But...Fox, what if all I have to give you isn't enough? What if I'm just not capable of much?"

"Why would you think that you aren't?"

"I don't know, I...being out here these last months, it's...it's made me sort of..." He struggled to find a way to say it. "I'd buried what little was left of myself pretty deep."

"I don't know," Fox murmured against the younger man's cheek. "I think you've shown me quite a bit of yourself these last few days."

"And you're still hanging around? You *must* be sick."

The soft rumble of Fox's laugh sent a succession of delicious shivers down Alex's back.

"Yup. Spooky Mulder isn't that hard to spook. Besides..." He pulled back to look into hypnotic twin pools of green. "There's a lot more of you hiding in there, and I plan on seeing it all."

Alex stared intently at the older man.

"Could take a while."

Fox stared back.

"Good."

God, this was too much. It had to be a dream, it had to be...

Alex tucked his head under the stubbled chin and closed his eyes.

//I'll just stay asleep, then.//

But the inevitability that had haunted Alex from the beginning pushed its way to the front of thoughts yet again, and he lifted worried eyes to the other.

"What happens in a couple of weeks?"

"What d'you mean?"

"I mean when your vacation is over and you have to go back."

Fox grasped Alex's upper arms, putting a few centimeters distance between them and looked him in the eyes.

"*We*."

"That's what I'm getting at," Alex lamented. "Don't you think my coming home with you would be a disaster? There's Scully and...*Skinner*..."

"I'm not leaving L.A. without you, Alex," Fox vowed. "No way. I couldn't give a damn less what they think or say."

"But..."

"But nothing. You go home with me, or I don't go home."

"Fox, you've got a job."

"I could transfer. Or I could quit and do something else. Makes no difference. Just hear this. I will *not* leave you."

Alex stared at the older man, reading the sincerity of his feelings in his eyes.

"You came out here for some r and r and end up getting your life turned upside down."

"Believe me, Alex, it needed shaking up. I've been bored as hell since you left."

Alex lowered his head and smiled. When he lifted it, Fox noticed that the light had come back to his eyes.

"You're a sick pup, Mulder."

"Who?"

"Sorry. *Agent* Mulder."

"You're being a bad boy, Alex."

Alex wound his arms around the older man's neck and gently ground their hips together while licking the corner of his mouth.

"So, spank me."

"Kinky bastard."

"Only for you. Believe me, other men have tried and suffered the consequences."

"So, why am I different?"

Alex displayed a half smile as he watched his fingertips brush the swell of Fox's lower lip.

"You know all those times you smacked me around and I never fought back?"

Fox nodded.

"You'll probably think this is just *too* perverse, but it made me hot. I always fantasized about us...that one day we'd end up rolling around on the floor naked afterward. But you never even gave me a clue. I never thought that it was possible that you might want me too."

Fox caught a passing finger between his teeth and sucked it into his mouth briefly before letting it go and moving the conversation in a slightly different direction.

"You said the other night that it wasn't the cold or the rain in D.C. that made you leave. You said that it was me. And then you fell asleep before you could explain why. Would you tell me now?"

Alex shrugged. "Isn't any big explanation. I couldn't be in the same city with you and never see you. I mean, what reason would I have to drop in on you after everything was over?" His gaze grew distant. "I've endured a lot of pain...torture even. But being so close to you and never being able to ...I couldn't do it. Plus, we had agreed that I would disappear. So I did. It was the best thing for all concerned."

"I don't think it was," Fox whispered softly. "I know you never would have, but I really do wish you had come to me."

"What would you have done?" Alex asked. "*Really*."

"I don't...I don't know what I would have done in that instant, but the least it would have done was get me thinking. Maybe I would have been smart enough to admit that I felt more for you than hatred. Maybe we could have been together months ago, and you never would have had to live the life that you have these past months."

"A lot of maybe's." Alex rested his head on Fox's shoulder and sighed. "No point in stressing over them now."

"I know, but..." Fox tightened his hold on the man in his arms. "I feel responsible."

Alex lifted his head.

"No. No, no. Don't."

"But if I'd..."

"*No*." Alex threaded his fingers through Fox's hair, holding his head still. "My life is no one's responsibility but mine."

Fox opened his mouth to speak but was immediately cut off.

"*Mine*." Alex's tone softened considerably. "It's not your fault." He moved in and nuzzled the older man's jaw. "Now, let's move on to more..." His tongue traced a light path up to Fox's ear. "...pleasurable subjects."

Fox moaned softly as the younger man's tongue found its way inside his ear, teasing and tickling.

"Yeah, like what?"

"You know what."

"I have no idea."

"Fox..."

"Oh, you remember my name now?"

"Never forgot it."

"Mmm hmm. What d'you want?"

"I want *you*," Alex answered in a pleading tone. "I've been suffering all night."

Reluctantly, Fox pulled away from the questing tongue and searched the younger man's eyes.

"Alex..."

"Please, Fox," Alex whimpered, clinging to the other man. "I need you." One hand slipped down to Fox's rear, pulling him forward as Alex pushed against him. "Please."

Fox's eyes dropped shut, and he emitted a shuddering sigh. "Alex," he breathed, caressing the younger man's bare back as they rocked against each other. "God, I don't...I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," Alex promised. "I'm okay. I'm fine. I need you so much. Please fuck me."

"No."

Alex pulled away, turning a wounded gaze on the older man, but the hurt quickly dissolved into lust as Fox began to undo his pants, slipping a hand inside to stroke his cock.

"I want you to fuck *me*."

Alex's breath left him in a rush.

He hadn't expected that one. He supposed it had something to do with the fact that it was always him on the receiving end...taking whatever the customer had to dish out...

But this was no customer. He may have started out that way, but that changed in a big hurry. This half naked man pressed up against him, licking at his mouth...gently squeezing his cock, was now his lover.

Jesus, his lover. And he was asking for what any lover had the right to ask for.

Fingers tightening in the golden-brown hair, Alex pulled Fox in for a long, breath stealing kiss as his other hand slipped inside the older man's loosened trousers and caressed the rounded curve of his ass.

"I didn't get to see you last time," he reminded Fox, just barely breaking the kiss long enough to get the handful of words out. They kissed for several seconds more, then he again broke away. "I want to see you."

Fox stood motionless except for the ragged heaving of his chest while the hand in his hair released the strands to flow down his back and join the other in his pants. Slowly, Alex worked the garment down, letting go when the waistband reached Fox's knees. The pants hit the floor in a pool of cocoa brown, and Fox stepped out of them, kicking them away, even as he rid himself of his shoes and socks.

Alex backed away, leaving Fox where he stood, and discarded his own clothing.

Now completely naked, he sat on the bed, sliding back to rest against the pillows. He gave the older man a smoldering stare and spoke.

"You're every bit as gorgeous as I always thought you would be." His gaze flicked down to the silk underwear then back up to Fox's eyes. "Take them off."

Eyes wandering over the body he so wanted to be wrapped around, Fox obeyed the soft command. When his underwear slid to the floor, he stood quietly, waiting.

A fresh surge of passion shot through Alex's body, hardening his already erect cock to a painful extent.

"God*damn*," he groaned, eyeing the imposing length of muscle that seemed to be straining toward him. He took a few steadying breaths then looked back up into twin pools of green and gold.

"Come here, baby."

*Baby*.

Fox's cock twitched at the sound of the word on Alex's lips.

Yeah, he liked that. He *really* liked that.

Slowly, he stalked toward the younger man, and when he reached the end of the bed, crawled over the mattress, straddling Alex's thighs and looking directly into passion-darkened eyes.

"Say it again."

Alex moved his head from side to side, brushing the tips of their noses together, then their mouths.

"Say what again?"

"Call me baby," Fox sighed, licking at the perfect lower lip.

"Why?"

"Because it does unbelievable things to my entire body."

Alex grinned, caught the older man's tongue between his teeth, then released it.

"Does it...baby?"

In answer, Fox drew in a ragged breath then stretched himself out, licking and kissing Alex's chest. The younger man groaned softly, slouching down against the pillows and petting the golden-brown head while Fox continued to bathe and tease the heated flesh, and when he reached one tightly constricted nipple, Alex arched off the bed.

"*Jesus*. Uh...Fox..." Alex combed his fingers restlessly through the older man's hair. "I guess...oh, God, I guess I'm a little touchy..."

Golden-brown eyelashes swept upward, and an amber-flecked gaze settled on the other man. Fox said nothing; he simply nuzzled the brown peak then closed his teeth gently over it and pulled.

Alex's teeth clamped together, and he emitted a hard groan.

"*Shit*."

Fox tugged once more then drifted downward, licking a moist path down the younger man's torso, and as he moved closer and closer to his lover's flushed cock the action roused Alex into rationality.

"Fox," he whispered breathlessly, grasping a handful of hair and pulling the other man's head up. "We need a rubber, baby."

Hearing the urgency in Alex's tone, Fox slid up, now lying face to face with Alex. He laid a tender kiss on the younger man's lips as he pulled the drawer of the nightstand open, groping for and finding the tube of lubrication and a condom. He broke the kiss as he tore open the package and began to roll the thin sheath onto his lover's cock.

"I'm sorry, Fox," Alex whispered, stroking the older man's hair. "I got tested two months ago, but..."

Fox cut him off, shushing softly. "I know. We'll talk about it later." He twisted the cap off of the lube and squeezed some into his hand. Applying a liberal amount to Alex's cock, he watched as intense pleasure wash over the younger man's face.

"So beautiful."

He discarded the lube and empty packet and sat up, running his hands over the virtually hairless chest as Alex's hands came up to touch him as well.

Sensitive fingertips slid through the sprinkling of golden-brown hair that covered Fox's chest and followed the narrowed trail straight down to the crop of darker hair that surrounded his twitching cock. Deep green eyes sparkled up at the older man with barely restrained lust.

"You know," he purred, letting his fingertips glide over the velvety surface. "I'm pretty damn good at deep throating, but I have to say, baby, I think this bad boy'd give me a fair amount of trouble."

Fox pouted down at the younger man as he fingered his parted lips. "Does that mean I'll never feel your mouth around me?"

Alex stared up at Fox, shaking his head.

"No. Just means that I look forward to the challenge."

Fox leaned in, brushing their mouths together. "I'll be gentle."

Alex pulled the older man down, feeding tenderly on his lips, drinking in each soft whimper. He broke the kiss but refused to release Fox from his grip.

"I know. I wish I could tell you how much it means to me."

"Show me," Fox whispered against the other man's mouth. "Don't make me wait."

In one smooth motion, Alex rolled them so that Fox was now the one on the bottom. He lay sprawled over the older man's body, kissing and licking every patch of skin his mouth could reach, and when he came within range of one of Fox's nipples, his mouth sealed over it, sucking gently, then he let the tip of his tongue flick quickly, back and forth over it.

Fox arched under Alex's ardent attention, and his groan vibrated throughout the room. His passionate responses only grew as Alex switched to the other nipple, giving it the same consideration, and in a very short time, he was writhing uncontrollably, demanding both physically and vocally to be satisfied.

"All right, pretty Fox, all right," Alex murmured soothingly as he coaxed the older man's legs up and around his waist. "Take it easy."

Fox's head tossed from side to side on the pillows, his anguished whimpers music to Alex's ears.

"Please," he wailed clutching at Alex's back as the other man positioned his cock and tested the degree of resistance to be overcome.

Finding Fox extremely tight, Alex paused, incurring a fair amount of protest from the man beneath him.

"How long has it been, Fox?"

Fox whined harshly in response.

"Baby, please. Listen to me. How long has it been since you've been with a man?" Alex thought a second then amended his question. "Have you *ever* been with a man?"

Fox nodded impatiently. "But it's been a long...a long time. What difference does it make? Come on, Alex, don't tease me..."

"I'm not," Alex promised, scattering a few kisses over the other man's face as he pushed ever so slowly into the older man. "Just..." He released a long sigh as Fox's heat surrounded him. "I didn't want to...to hurt you. Oh, God, Fox, you're so tight..."

Fox contracted his muscles, bearing down on the imposing presence making itself known to his body. The man above him gasped and stopped moving, afraid that even a deep breath would trigger his explosion.

"Baby," Alex panted. "Jesus, Fox, you're gonna kill me. You have to let go."

Fox clung to the younger man, planting feverish kisses over one shoulder.

"Nooo. Feels so good. Stay inside me...stay..."

"I will," Alex responded with the same desperation. "I will, baby, but if you don't stop squeezing me like that, I'm going to come. I don't want to. Not yet. Wanna...wanna fuck you. Want you to feel me for a week..."

Incredibly aroused by the thought of feeling Alex's cock inside him tomorrow as they sat down to breakfast, Fox issued a loud moan and reluctantly relaxed his muscles.

"Thank you," Alex breathed, petting the golden-brown head. He drew in a few cleansing breaths then claimed Fox's mouth in a teasing kiss as he slowly completed their connection.

"God," Fox whispered against his lover's mouth. Oh, God, so..." He grimaced, trying to adjust to the overwhelming presence within him. "So full." He hugged Alex to him, whimpering softly. "Fuck me, baby. Make me scream."

Alex's body shook violently as he began to move, the realization that after years of wanting Fox, he'd finally got his wish, hitting him like a ton of bricks.

"Mine," he rasped softly, thrusting with all the gentleness he possessed. "You're mine now..."

"Yours," Fox agreed breathlessly, stroking the younger man's damp back.

"I'm ready, Fox. I can't..." Alex wrapped a hand around Fox's swollen cock and began to gently pump it in time to his thrusts. "Come with me...come on," he pleaded moving faster, his hand still keeping in perfect time with his hips.

Fox bucked against the younger man, fingers digging into his back as the coming explosion rumbled through his body. His head snapped back, pressing into the pillows as he blew, screaming his lover's name and shooting copious amounts of semen over Alex's hand and his own belly.

At almost the same moment, Alex reached his own climax, crying out in delirium as he continued to pump uncontrollably into the other man's body. Finally, sheer exhaustion forced him to stop, and he collapsed on top of Fox, chest heaving in counterpoint to the other's. A brief time had passed, and he carefully withdrew and discarded the used condom. That done, he sank back down to the mattress, melting into the open arms of his lover, peppering his perspiration-slick chest with kisses.

"I didn't know," he whispered, licking the salty moisture from his lips. "God, I hadn't a clue."

Fox hugged Alex tightly, stroking his still very warm skin. "About what?"

"What it was like." He nuzzled Fox's throat then buried his face in the damp curve between his neck and shoulder. "Nobody ever cared enough...they never cared at all."

Fox planted a soft kiss in the ruffled, sable hair. "You know *I* care."

"It's still so hard to believe. I feel so good, Fox. I feel..." A frightening vision invaded his thoughts, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to exorcise it. "...*too* good." He clung to the older man as if he was afraid someone would come and rip them apart.

"Alex? What is it?"

"I'm scared..."

The sudden, distressed tone in Alex's voice made Fox turn the younger man's face up to his.

"Scared of what?"

"That it isn't real. Or that it is, and something's going to happen. Something to take it all away from me...take *you* away."

Shaking his head vehemently, Fox guided Alex's head back down to his chest. "No," he insisted softly. "Nothing's going to happen."

"I couldn't..." Alex continued, still in the grip of unexpected fear. "You screwed me up good, Fox. I couldn't stand it if I lost you now."

"You won't," Fox replied in his most reassuring tone. I told you already, I won't walk away from you. Nothing can make me."

"Promise me."

"I promise. I'm yours now, remember?"

"Yeah. And you agreed, but people say lots of things they don't mean in the heat of the moment."

"You think I didn't mean it?"

Green eyes lowered to Fox's chest. "I don't know."

"I meant it, Alex," Fox said firmly, caressing the younger man's jaw. "With all my heart I meant it. I'm yours. For as long as you'll have me."

Alex's head fell forward, resting against the older man's chest as he heaved a thankful sigh. "You might regret saying that."

"Why?"

"What if I never want to let you go?"

"Don't tease me."

Alex lifted his eyes, meeting his lover's glittering gaze. "Tease you?"

"I don't want to be let go," Fox admitted. "And I don't want to let go of *you*. If you're not as sure of that as I am...if you think you might need me just for the time being, I want to know, I..."

"No," Alex broke in. "No. When I said I couldn't stand it if I lost you, Fox, I didn't just mean for the next few weeks or the next few months. I meant ever." He shook his head, blinking away the sting that came to his eyes.

"Insane isn't the word for what this is. So much, it's so...overwhelming, but I can't help it. I don't want to. I just want to forget it all...everything I've done, and everything I've been up to now and start over with you. I don't want anyone to touch me, I don't...God, I hated it." He stared up at Fox, begging with his eyes to be believed. "I told you that I liked it, but I didn't. I hated it when they touched me. It made me sick."

"I know," Fox assured the younger man, kissing his forehead. "You didn't have to tell me any of that, baby, I already knew it."

"I'm done with it," Alex promised, curling himself around the older man. "I'll never let another man touch me."

Fox smiled, holding Alex in his comforting warmth. "Glad to hear it, 'cause you know what?"

Alex looked up into his lover's face. "What?"

Fox lowered his head, touching noses with the younger man. "You're *mine*."

Alex shivered at the two word statement.

Him. Alex Krycek...property of Fox Mulder.

He'd never belonged to anyone in his life. Not emotionally...he never wanted to. But now, the thought warmed him inside and out.

"I was yours before I even knew who you were."

Fox hoisted himself up onto his side and rested his head in his hand.

"Yeah, let's talk about that. You wanted that man. You couldn't see him...had no idea who he was, but you wanted him bad."

Alex nodded, brushing his fingers across Fox's cheek. "I did. I was so confused, though. I couldn't understand what the hell was happening. In such a short time, this total stranger made me need him more than I've ever needed anybody. And I wanted so much to be with him.

"My heart pounded like crazy when I opened up that envelope on that first night. Not because of money I'd made or the money I stood to make, but because he wanted me back." Alex closed his eyes. "Another night with the one man who'd ever made me feel like I was somebody..."

"But you were so upset the night I found out you'd been hurt. You didn't want me...him...to care about it."

"It just made it harder," Alex explained.

"Harder?"

"To walk away. I wanted what he had to offer me. I didn't know how hungry I was until the hunger was suddenly being satisfied. But I knew it had to be temporary, and I knew it'd hurt like hell when it was gone. I figured the longer it went on, the more it would hurt." He turned a heartbreaking gaze on his lover. "I'd finally made it all go away. I'd managed to numb everything, and I didn't want it back. And somehow I knew that if given the chance, he could hurt me like I'd never been hurt before. Then I found out it was you, and it made sense. *You* can hurt me. You can rip me to shreds without even really trying." Alex blew out a hard breath. "Oh my God, that's how much I belong to you."

Fox gathered Alex to him and rocked back and forth. "Don't be afraid of it."

"I'm not, I'm just...I guess you could call it shock. I never thought I'd need anyone. And here I am, needing you so much, I don't think I'd be able to breathe without you. It's unreal, it's..."

His next words were muffled by Fox's mouth, covering his in a sweet kiss.

Lips as soft as a whisper drank in every sigh, coaxing the younger man to surrender himself to his lover, and Alex did that willingly, joyfully. His arms wound around the older man as he opened his mouth, allowing Fox's tongue to sweep inside.

God, it felt so good. So right, like it had never been any other way.

This was his now. All the pleasure, all the warmth and contentment. All the security of knowing that his heart had finally found a home.  He could finally let his guard down...sleep at night when most people slept, and wake in the morning in the arms of the one person in the world he trusted...

In spite of the fierce pounding of his heart, matching the intensity of emotion that threatened to consume him, Fox fed gently upon his lover's sweetness, silently vowing to give Alex all the tenderness that his life had been devoid of for so long.

So very recently satisfied, his cock began to swell and lengthen, surprising him at the speed of its recovery. His moan of astonishment and arousal resonated in Alex's mouth, and the younger man pressed up against him, letting him know that he wasn't the only one in that condition. He broke the kiss and rested his cheek against his lover's.

"It would seem we have a situation here."

"Mmm hmm," Alex breathed, rubbing his cheek against Fox's as he draped one long leg over his hip.

"What do you propose we do about it?"

"I have a thought."

"Yes?"

Alex turned around and pressed into the cradle of Fox's body, wiggling his ass against the older man's cock.

"Nooooooope."

"Fox, come on," Alex whined, sounding much like a petulant child. "I feel fine, I really do."

"You can feel okay and not be completely healed." Fox gently grasped a handful of hair and stared intently into the younger man's eyes. "Do you know how I would feel if I hurt you? I'd feel like I was no better than the men who originally did it to you."

"No, Fox. You could never be anything like that scum."

"But that's how I'd feel. How can I do something, Alex, that I'm not entirely sure won't injure you? What kind of a man would that make me If I did? How could I claim to care about you?"

Alex turned back into the other man's arms, nestling into his protective embrace.

"I'm not going to wake up in the morning and find out that this has all been a dream, am I?"

"Hasn't happened so far, has it?"

"No, but it *could* be just a matter of time."

"I won't turn out to be a dream if you don't."

Alex laughed softly. "Deal. But uh...that still doesn't solve our little problem."

Fox reached into the nightstand, withdrawing two condoms.

"Allow me."

He opened one package and rolled the condom onto Alex's cock then did the same for himself. Then, kissing Alex once more, he turned himself so that each man's head was at the other's crotch. Gingerly, his fingers circled the base of his lover's cock, and he began to lick the entire length from base to tip.

Alex mimicked Fox's actions, groaning at the first sensation of his tongue stroking the considerable length of his lover's cock. He hated the taste of the latex...never liked it, and he especially regretted Fox having to deal with it, but there was that slim chance that his lover's life could depend on it, and therefore, it was a necessary evil.

Pushing all regret to the back of his mind, Alex concentrated on pleasing Fox to the best of his ability. He relaxed his throat and took in inch after inch, swallowing as much of the older man's cock as he could comfortably take.

Whimpering at the sensation of being encased in soft warmth, Fox opened his mouth and sucked Alex inside, his tongue gently lashing at the thick shaft with his tongue.

It was Alex's turn to whimper, his sounds of pleasure joining those of his lover. As they teased each other, withdrawing then sinking back down, licking and nipping, the sounds growing in volume, so did their impatience.

The hand around Alex's cock released the shaft and slid over his hip, cradling the younger man's ass as Fox moved forward, taking his lover in to the root. Sucking steadily, his head began to bob rhythmically, pushing Alex quickly toward release. The younger man's whimpers evolved into desperate cries for fulfillment, and he began to rock, effectively fucking Fox's mouth. Pushing and pulling on the other man's hips, he encouraged him to do the same, and Fox complied, his cock now moving in and out of Alex's mouth like a piston.

Alex breathed deeply, altering the angle at which he lay just a bit to more easily accommodate the full length of his lover's cock. Having proudly achieved his goal, Alex encouraged Fox to move faster, matching the increased tempo he had now set.

Fox thrust faster, quickly hurtling out of control. He sucked voraciously on his lover's cock, even as the pressure had increased on his own, and seconds later he flashed, his strangled cries joined by those of the other. When their bodies ceased their violent spasming, both men lay spent and purring with satisfaction, each lazily nuzzling the other.

"Wanna lick you clean," Fox moaned, running his tongue along the latex covered shaft.

The wishful statement brought Alex out of the lethargic state he'd still been lingering in, and he sat up and pivoted so that he and Fox were now face to face.

"Me to," he said softly, caressing the older man's face. "I'd give anything to be able to taste you. But until we're absolutely sure that it's safe, we can't. I refuse to take stupid chances." He stared directly at the other man, his eyes brimming with adoration. "Not with you."

Fox nodded, pulling his lower lip into his mouth and lowering his eyes.

"Fox? Baby, what's wrong?"

"Those men...the ones who...the ones in the warehouse. Do you know much about them?"

Alex caught on, realizing why Fox was asking about them.

"No. Everyone pretty much steered clear of them."

Fox nodded again. "Do you know...I know you were pretty well out of it, but..."

"I don't know how many, if any of them were wearing rubbers," Alex answered, anticipating the question.

"I know the one I shot had one on."

"You shot one of them?"

"In the wrist. The one who was threatening to slit your throat." Fox's eyes turned dark with restrained anger. "I should've killed the fucker. I should've."

"I'm glad you didn't. You don't need that kind of trouble, Fox."

"They hurt you. They would've killed you. They don't deserve to live, none of them."

Alex molded himself to Fox's body, stroking the cooling back as he rested his head against the older man's shoulder.

"Forget about it. It's done. Thanks to you it all turned out okay."

Fox hugged Alex to him, planting a soft kiss in his hair. "Which brings us back to the original topic of this conversation. We don't know if all those assholes were using condoms, and we don't know if they were all disease free. How soon before you can get tested?"

"About three months. And even if I test negative, I should be re-tested in another three months to be sure." He turned an apologetic gaze on Fox. "Until then, we really have to be very careful."

Fox hugged the younger man tightly. "The tests will turn out negative."

"We can't go on that assumption, Fox. It's too risky."

"I'm not saying it because I want to make love to you without protection," Fox answered softly. "I'm saying it because it's what I need to believe."

Understanding dawned on Alex, and he emitted a long sigh.

"I'm always very good about protecting myself and getting tested because I...I just knew I should. But I never had a real reason to *want* to stay healthy before now." Eyes clouded by remorse turned up to the other man's face. "I'm so sorry, Fox, for putting you through this."

"You're not holding a gun to my head, Alex," Fox pointed out. "I could've walked away at any time. Hell, I never even had to get involved in the first place. I wanted to."

Alex lay quietly for a moment then cleared his throat and spoke.

"Do something for me?"

"You know, I think I'd do almost anything for you."

"Almost?"

Fox grinned down at his lover. "Well, you know, unless it was really stupid or something...what do you want me to do?"

"If it gets to be more than you can or want to deal with...if it turns out that I've contracted HIV, or you find that you just can't handle the fact that I was a hooker, or...or anything else...tell me, and I'll go. I've screwed up your life for so long and in so many different ways...I don't want to do it any more."

Fox breathed Alex's name into his hair then pulled back to look down into solemn green eyes.

"You've done some rotten things in the past. There's no disputing that. But any bit of life you took from me, baby, you've given back ten fold. I've never been happier or felt more complete."

"You know Scully's gonna meet you at the airport standing between a couple of nice men in white coats holding nets, right?"

"I know she thinks I've completely lost it..."

"She's not the only one."

Fox gave the younger man a harmless swat on the backside and continued.

"I don't give a damn what she or anybody else thinks. You're mine, and nothing's going to change that. So...if they haul me away, they haul *you* away, because there's no way in hell I'm letting go of you."

"Well, that's fine, 'cause I think I'm just as sick as you are," Alex answered, a bit of humor seeping into his tone. "I could probably use a little time in a nice padded room."

"Oh, good, so instead of you trying to save me from them, you'll be helping to measure me for my straightjacket?"

Alex nodded. "Maybe I'll get a discount on mine."

"Let me remind you, sweet, helpful Alex, that if we're both wearing straightjackets, there'll be no touching..."

"Okay, wait..."

"No licking or nipping or sucking..."

"Yeah, but..."

"No fucking..."

Alex emitted a low whine. "So maybe I was a bit hasty..."

Fox snorted softly. "Thought that'd change your mind. Uh, hey, Alex?"

"Hmm?"

Fox looked down between them. "If we keep these things on any longer, they're going to become a permanent part of us."

"Ah, *shit*." Alex reached down and peeled his condom off, groaning as he did. "Christ, do you think they use semen in super glue?"

Fox chuckled as he reached down to remove his own condom, gritting his teeth as he did.

"Damn, you're right. And it hasn't even been that long." He tossed the used latex into the waste paper basket a few feet away then turned back to the younger man. "By the way," he purred, kissing the tip of Alex's nose, "that was *so* good."

Alex gave him a soft smile. "Back at'cha."

"And you rose to your little challenge admirably."

The younger man's shoulders shook with laughter. "Yeah, it was touch and go there, but I pulled it off."

"Such talent."

"Hey, I wouldn't have attempted that for anyone else, you know, talent or not. Felt like you were halfway down my throat." Sable lashes drooped lazily. "God, I was so turned on."

"Slut."

"I place all the blame squarely on your shoulders. I never enjoyed it before." Alex reached down between them and rubbed two fingers over the softened head of his lover's cock then brought them up to his mouth, sucking at the tips. "Now, I can't get enough."

Fox inhaled deeply, watching Alex pull his fingers from his mouth.

"Can you taste me?"

"Not nearly as much as I'd like to. You're already pretty dry, and then there's that damn rubber taste."

"Six months, baby," Fox promised. "Six months, and they won't be able to pry us apart with a crowbar."

Alex smiled at the thought.

"I'm going to hold you to that."

"Go right ahead." Fox looked down at the younger man just in time to see him stifling a yawn. "Tired?"

"A little."

"It's really late," The older man observed, looking at his watch. He shut the light off and pulled the sheet up around them, snuggling with Alex beneath the cool cotton. After a long, sweet kiss, both men said goodnight then fell into an exhausted silence and were soon soundly asleep.

********************
Over a week later
********************

A soft knock sounded on A.D. Skinner's door, drawing his attention from his work.

"Come in."

The door opened, and the diminutive redhead walked in, stopping only when she reached the front of his desk.

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

Skinner dropped the file folder he held, down onto his desk and looked up at the agent.

"Yes, Agent Scully, have a seat."

Scully took her usual chair and waited for Skinner to speak.

"It's been about four weeks since Agent Mulder began his vacation. Have you heard anything from him?"

Cerulean eyes looked down at the floor. "I've spoken with him a couple of times, yes."

"How is he?"

"He's fine."

Sharp brown eyes squinted at the woman.

"Are you sure about that?"

The woman looked up at Skinner but only briefly before her gaze began to wander. "Yes, sir."

"Agent Scully."

Scully's eyes stopped shifting around the room and came to rest on her superior.

"Tell me he's not getting into any trouble."

"He's on vacation, sir. What trouble could he get into?"

"Agent *Mulder*? I think we both know that if there's even the smallest bit of trouble lurking within a hundred mile radius, *he'll* find it."

Scully remained silent.

Skinner observed the troubled expression that his agent was trying so hard to hide, then sat back in his chair, folding his hands across his midsection.

"How's your workload?"

"Pretty light."

"Anything going on that can't wait a few days?"

"No, sir. Have you got something else for me?"

"Nothing but a little time off."

Scully turned a questioning gaze on Skinner.

"Sir?"

"Take some time off, Agent Scully," the A.D. repeated, staring pointedly at her. "Maybe take a little trip."

"....If you insist, sir."

"I do."

"Will that be all?"

"Yes, I believe it will be. As of right now, you're on vacation for a week."

Scully nodded and rose. "Thank you, sir."

Without a glance backward, Scully walked to the door and exited the office. She headed straight down to the basement and began putting the office in order. When that was done, she picked up the telephone and dialed the airport.

It had been a little over a week since she last spoke with Mulder, but not for lack of trying. She'd attempted several times a day, every day to call his cell phone, but the pain in the ass had obviously shut the damn thing off. When three days had passed without contact, she had considered dropping everything and flying out to L.A., but each time the thought entered her head, she talked herself out of it. He was a big boy, quite capable of taking care of himself. He certainly didn't need her help or protection.

Then she thought about who it was he might be needing protection from.

Alex Krycek.

Mulder had gone completely around the bend. What other explanation could there be for his getting involved with that snake?

Yeah, yeah, she knew that without the slimy bastard's help they never would have seen an end to Smokey and his friends as quickly as they had, but one good deed hardly negated all the dirt he'd done to them in the years before. She couldn't *believe* Mulder had forgotten that.

As she made her reservations she wondered what he would say when she showed up on the doorstep of his rented cabin. He'd probably be pissed as hell, especially if he'd brought Krycek up there with him.

//If? You heard him, Dana. He was so....oh, God, he sounded so *smitten*. There's a stupid word. But fitting. He hasn't cut Krycek loose. That rat bastard is sitting up in that cabin with him right now. But *why*? What the hell can he want?//

Deciding to save the questions till she got to California, Scully picked up the few things she was taking with her and left the office.

********************

Alex closed his eyes and turned his face up to the sun.

So warm.

But the air was different.

Clear. Cool. Clean.

It caressed his skin and filled his lungs as he inhaled deeply.

The sun-warmed wood felt so good beneath him. Not like the green painted bench he was used to sitting on. This was rough and smelled like...well, it smelled like *wood*. Natural. Comforting.

He opened his eyes and squinted up at the man approaching from inside the cabin.

Faded jeans that hugged him in *all* the right places...barefoot, shirt hanging open and the sun behind him, softening the edges of his profile. He looked to Alex like some erotic, backwood mirage, as startlingly beautiful as the image he'd conjured up in the past.

Fox smiled down at the man sitting on the porch and squatted beside him, handing him one of the two cups he'd held in his hand.

"Thanks." Alex took the mug, sipping at the hot coffee before again looking up into the sparkling amber eyes of his lover.

"I can't tell you how many times I've imagined this. It's almost exactly the way I've seen it in my mind."

Fox flashed Alex a brilliant grin. "This?"

"Yeah. Me sitting on the front porch of a cabin somewhere. Warm. Content. Just me and..." He paused then made his admission. "...you."

Fox tipped his head to one side. "You've imagined the two of us together?"

"Yeah," Alex answered just above a whisper. "I didn't mean for it to be you. Just...*somebody*, you know? Some faceless lover. But he just...he turned into you."

Fox studied the other man for a while then leaned in and brushed his lips across the surface of his hair. He set his mug down and lowered himself to his hands and knees, bringing his face to within a mere inch of the younger man's.

"I'm glad it was me," he murmured letting his lips caress Alex's cheek. "'Cause for me it's been you for such a long time now."

Alex pulled back and stared into a tranquil ocean of green and gold.

"It's so unbelievable." He laughed softly. "I can't stop saying that."

"I know." Fox covered the other's lips in a tender kiss then stretched out on the porch and lay his head in Alex's lap. He closed his eyes, drowning in contentment. "So...we've been here a few days. Do you like it?"

Alex breathed deeply and exhaled as one hand busied itself  in Fox's hair. "I love it."

"Is it someplace you can see yourself settling down?"

"I don't know. Even though I'd pictured you here with me, I was prepared to live alone. Now, I..."

Fox listened, waiting for Alex to finish the sentence, but he simply went quiet. He turned onto his back and looked up at the other man.

"Now, you what?"

"I can't...I don't want to," Alex answered honestly. "Not without you."

The heartfelt response earned Alex a gentle caress.

"We'll have a place like this," Fox promised. "Someplace we can go to and be alone when life gets to be too complicated."

"Life'll always be complicated for us," Alex answered sadly. "As long as we're together, it'll be hard."

"It won't all be fun, no. But as long as we stick together, it'll be okay."

"I didn't know you were such an optimist," Alex said, brushing his knuckles across the older man's cheek.

"Neither did I. I wouldn't term myself a pessimist, but up to now I always thought I was just, I don't know....numb. Now I find myself really looking forward to life. I believe that there are a lot of good things ahead."

"I want to believe that," Alex replied wistfully. "There's been so much bad...though I have no right to complain since most of it has been my own doing..."

"You're turning it around now," Fox reminded the younger man, grasping the hand that rested against his cheek and placing a soft kiss in the palm.

"I would've thought it was too late, you know? It's been so long, and I've done so much damage. To you *and* myself. I don't know how you can lie here with your head in the lap of an ex-spy/assassin/hooker...making plans for the future."

"If it weren't for you, Alex, we might not have *had* a future..."

"I don't deserve any credit," Alex broke in. "If I had been on the right side from the beginning, so much damage could have been prevented." His gaze fell away from his lover's face. "I wouldn't have hurt you so much. I don't even know how to begin making it all up to you."

"Alex."

A sad green gaze fell back to the older man's face.

Fox sat up, looking directly into Alex's eyes.

"You already have. There's no need for you to knock yourself out trying."

"But I've done so many..."

Fox cut the younger man off, his mouth muffling the remnants of Alex's argument. When he felt the taut muscles relax in submission, he broke the kiss. Maintaining eye contact, he spoke again.

"I look in your eyes, Alex, and there's so much going on in there. I see more than I ever thought there was of you. You did a hell of a job hiding from me and the rest of the world these past few years, but it's exhausting, isn't it?"

Alex tried to lower his head, but a gentle hand under his chin stopped him.

"You're tired...keeping up the masquerade. But you let me see. You let your guard down because you didn't have the strength to keep it up anymore, and you let me see the man you've kept hidden away for too damn many years." Fox gave the other man a tranquil smile.

"He's beautiful, Alex. He's sincere, and he's intelligent and vulnerable." He pitched forward, letting his tongue dance across Alex's mouth. "And he's sexy as all hell."

Alex blew out a short, soft breath and lowered his eyes.

"He's what I want," Fox murmured, brushing his lips against the younger man's. "He's what I need."

Alex emitted an almost inaudible whimper as Fox pulled him into his arms.

"I need you, Alex. In a ridiculously short period of time you made me want to stop just going through the motions and really live. I'm alive now, and I won't go back to that walking death."

He shook his head, searing Alex with the heat of his stare.

"I'll never go back. And neither will you."

Alex wound his arms around Fox, soaking in his warmth and silently wondering what the hell he did right to be given another chance at life.

And not just any life. A *good* life. With a man in whose eyes he thought he'd only ever see hate but now saw an emotion so profound, he couldn't describe it as anything other than love.

//Whoa. Get a grip there, Trigger. The fresh air must be making you high or something.//

"Would you think I had really gone around the bend if I told you that I...God, Alex, I think I...no, that's not right. I know...I'm in love with you..."

//Or not...//

Alex lifted his head, a mixture of shock and uncertainty swirling in his eyes. He blinked rapidly then frowned at the other man, who watched him intently for some reaction.

"Fox, I...please..." Alex swallowed hard, his rate of respiration markedly increasing. "..I know I've done some rotten...awful stuff, and I...I deserve everything you could think to...." He shook his head, eyes pleading for mercy. "Not this. I can't...don't...*please* don't tell me you love me if you don't mean it."

Fox pulled the distraught man against him, holding fast.

"I swear on my life, Alex, I'm not playing any kind of head games with you. I wouldn't do that to you. I couldn't."

"I've never had love," Alex rambled as if he hadn't heard, clutching the edges of the older man's open shirt. "Had offers I couldn't refuse...customers. Used and been used, but love never entered into it. It wasn't for me. I didn't deserve it."

Fox tightened his hold and pressed a few feverish kisses into the sable hair.

"It'd be so easy for you make me believe," Alex continued on. "Want it...God, I want so bad for you to love me even though I don't deserve for you to. I shouldn't...I shouldn't...don't even have the right to *think* about it..."

"Stop. Stop it, Alex. You have to stop beating yourself up. And you have every right to want anything in the world. I'm just grateful that you want it from *me*."

"I always thought I did," Alex rasped, rubbing his cheek against Fox's shoulder. "But that day...the day I heard your voice for the first time telling me that you wouldn't hurt me, I knew. Even if it *was* just a game and you didn't mean any of it, it was too late for me. I'd fallen too far too fast, and there was no pulling me out."

"Alex, what are you..."

The younger man pulled back, purest adoration gleaming in his eyes.

"I love you, Fox. No matter what happens, you have to know. You made me fall in love with you, and I'll tell you, if it *was* revenge you'd been plotting, you'd have it, and it'd be sweet."

"You love me?" Fox asked abruptly.

"Nothing else can have me this scared," Alex breathed then set a wide eyed stare on the other. "Tell me you're not playing games with me."

"Baby, I told you..."

"Tell me again. Please, Fox."

"I'm not playing games with you," Fox assured the younger man then took his mouth in a heated kiss.

Alex melted into his lover, surrendering his body and his heart, and when Fox lowered him onto his back he went willingly, pulling the older man down on top of him.

They lay kissing and stroking each other, each man stoking the other's passion until Alex broke from Fox's insistent mouth.

"Fox," he managed to mumble before the other man reclaimed his mouth. He moaned softly, allowing Fox to engage him in a deep kiss, and when the older man had thoroughly explored the interior of his mouth, he again pulled away.

"Fox..."

Fox nuzzled his lover's neck, passing his tongue over the wildly pounding pulse. "Yeah, baby?"

Alex bit down on his lower lip. "It's...it's been a while. I'm okay now..."

Fox abandoned his current pleasure and looked down into pleading eyes. He kissed Alex once more then sat up, pulling the younger man with him.

"Come with me." He rose to his feet and held out his hand.

"Where are we going?"

Helping Alex up, he dragged the other man into his embrace and whispered against his mouth, "To bed."

Alex released a loud, gasping sigh and let Fox lead him into the cabin and straight into the bedroom.

The moment they crossed the threshold, Alex pressed himself to Fox's back, sliding his hands up under his shirt, caressing his chest.

Fox stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes and moaning at the feel of his lover's touch. As Alex's fingers whispered over his abdomen and circled both nipples, he tugged at the button on his jeans then pulled the zipper down.

The instant Alex had access, one hand left Fox's chest and glided down, slipping between his jeans and underwear. As he gently kneaded the rigid length of muscle, he nipped at the older man's earlobe then teased the sensitive interior with the tip of his tongue.

"Love me," he begged simply, afraid to trust his shaky voice with much more than the two words.

Reluctantly, Fox pulled Alex's hand out of his pants and turned to face him. Their lips met in the sweetest of kisses as he undid Alex's jeans and pulled his t-shirt up to his chest. He broke the kiss and removed the shirt, letting it fall to the floor as Alex tugged his shirt off and let it drop beside his own.

The two came together again, hands wandering over heated flesh as they kissed with restrained hunger. Fox's hands slipped inside Alex's jeans, strong fingers clenching in his ass, and the younger man began to squirm, moaning impatiently into his mouth. Fox tore his mouth away, panting softly. Cupping Alex's ass firmly, he pulled the younger man forward as his gaze held him entranced.

"It's been so hard, baby. Ever since that night...I had such a small taste of what it was like to be inside you, and since then I've wanted so badly to..." Fox bit into his own lip and began again. "Don't think for a second that I haven't suffered with this..."

"I know," Alex broke in. "I know you didn't want to hurt me. I love you for that, Fox. Nobody's ever worried about me, but now I'm fine." He pushed his own jeans down and kicked them and his shoes away, leaving himself completely bared to his lover's reverent touch.

"Make love to me," he whispered, wrapping himself around the other man and rubbing against him. "I don't want to feel them. Make them go away..."

The despair was back in Alex's voice, mixed with intense desire, and though Fox thought he had some idea what the statement meant, this was no time to delve deeper into its significance. Alex needed him. And here, not three weeks into their new relationship, Fox knew with certitude that he would give this man anything in the world he needed or desired.

Gently prying himself away from Alex, Fox finished undressing then stood quietly, not more than two feet from the other. He said not a word, but the look in his eyes drew Alex in, willing him to move closer and closer until they were pressed against each other.

Winding one arm around the younger man's waist, Fox's free hand rose to his lover's flushed lips, tracing their softness, his breath catching in his throat as Alex's tongue peeked out to stroke over his fingertips. He removed his hand and leaned forward, letting his tongue replace his fingers.

Moaning softly, Alex's eyes fluttered shut. Immersed in the sensuality of the moment, he met his lover's tongue with his own, stroking and teasing, and when Fox withdrew, he boldly followed, searching the recesses of the older man's mouth. He found his errant companion and easily coaxed it back into play, but not for very long.

Fox pulled back, catching the younger man's lower lip between his teeth and pulling gently before releasing it. Softly shushing Alex's whine of protest, he proceeded to lazily explore his lover's chest and shoulders with his hands and mouth, smiling when the other's complaints turned to sighs of bliss.

Sinking slowly into a crouching position, Fox tenderly bathed his lover, taking care to give special attention to his nipples and the insides of his thighs, and being extra careful to make sure that his aching cock received none before rising and moving behind him. By the time he'd reached the sensitive patch of skin on the back of Alex's neck, the younger man's knees were ready to give out.

"Fox," Alex whimpered, shivering at the sensation of the older man's tongue traveling down the middle of his spine. "Please..."

Having reached the tempting swell of the other man's rear, Fox bit delicately into the firm mound and sucked at the tender skin, exerting just enough pressure to produce a hard gasp. He soothed the small injury with his tongue then continued on, tickling and nipping until the pitch of Alex's cries told him that the younger man was quickly reaching the end of his rope.

Rising, he wrapped his arms around Alex and pulled him back into the heat of his body. He nuzzled the curve between neck and shoulder then left another more prominent mark of his possession.

Alex let his head fall to the side, wincing at the pain and the deep throbbing it produced in his cock.

What the hell?

Pain was pain was...pain. Wasn't it?

But somehow with this man it became intense pleasure. A wild kind of joy he'd never felt before, and now he realized that it didn't matter how many men he'd been with...how many different experiences he'd had. With Fox it was all new. Now, it was the man he wanted...the man he loved, touching him, and nothing he did was disgusting or hurtful. Each touch, every caress only took him to a higher level of arousal...fueled his desire even as it deepened his heart's need.

Acting on instinct, he plunged his fingers into his lover's hair and pushed against his head, silently asking for more.

Fox tightened his arms around the younger man, wrapping him in a vice grip, a low growl rumbling in his chest as he sucked harder at the highly sensitive flesh. Alex's pained, excited whimpers resonated through his entire body, making it vibrate, and his cock screamed its need, pushing insistently against the other man's ass.

Alex squirmed against the hardness at his rear, all rationality at least temporarily obscured by the consuming need to have that hardness driving into him, stretching and filling him completely.

"Give it to me," he panted, gripping Fox's hips and grinding his ass against the older man's cock. "Please, Fox...fuck me. Need you...baby, please..."

Satisfied that his man had been sufficiently branded, Fox released him and admired his handiwork for a few brief seconds before leading Alex over to the bed and lowering him to the mattress. He stretched out on top of the younger man, lightly running his fingers over the large reddish blotch forming on his shoulder. His eyes rose to meet Alex's, and the other shivered at the thoroughly possessive gleam in the gold splashed stare.

Never in his life had he wanted so much to belong to another. He'd always thought that total devotion denoted weakness...would make him the worst kind of prisoner, but in truth he'd never felt so strong or so free. Fox was just as much his as he was Fox's, and Christ, it was an amazing feeling.

Fox watched the deep green of Alex's eyes disappear behind fluttering eyelids, and the younger man arched his neck, offering himself to his lover. The thought to refuse such a tempting gift never crossed his mind as he lowered his head and touched his lips to the tanned skin.

A barely audible sigh escaped Alex's lips as the moist warmth of Fox's tongue slid along his throat, unerringly finding his frantically beating pulse. He grunted softly as first Fox's mouth then his teeth closed over the area, scraping gently at the tender flesh, and when the older man again began to exert pressure, his body arched, pressing more tightly against the one on top of him.

Fox's erection throbbed painfully against Alex's thigh, demanding that he knock it off with the dominance games already and *fuck* the man. The rest of his body concurred, and he released the younger man's throat from his mouth and reached for the condoms and lube. Sitting up, he tore the packet open and rolled it onto his rigid cock while his lover watched hungrily.

As he next screwed the cap off the lube, Alex's hand covered his. Taking the tube from him, the younger man squeezed some gel into his palm and gently applied it.

Fox released a long, stuttering breath, enduring the sweet torture of his lover's caress, and when Alex removed his hand, Fox tore open another packet and sheathed Alex's cock in latex as well. When that was done, he again stretched out over the length of his body.

Not waiting for Fox to ask, Alex hooked his legs around the older man's waist and tilted his hips, issuing a clear invitation.

Fox gazed down into passion glazed eyes as he guided the tip of his lubricated cock to the place where they had both longed for it to be. He watched the incredibly thick eyelashes flutter as he stretched the tight muscle, and his own respiration deepened to match his lover's.

"Are you all right?" he whispered, concern for Alex's comfort tempering his passion.

"I'm fine," Alex breathed, pushing against the presence that remained only part way inside him and stroking Fox's back. "Don't stop," he pleaded. "Please don't. God, Fox, it feels so good."

Fox pushed again, feeling more of Alex's warmth surround him, and more of his control slip.

"I love you, baby," he gasped, thrusting deeper, forcing a cry of pleasure from them both. "God...so much..."

Alex whimpered softly, desperately in response, fingers clenching in the taut muscles of his lover's ass.

"More," he choked, pulling Fox to him. "Deeper."

Fox inhaled deeply and with all the restraint he could muster, sank as far and as gently into the younger man as he could. He paused, trembling, trying to compose himself, but the man beneath him was beyond restraint.

"Can't wait," Alex whimpered, grasping Fox's hand and placing it over his cock. "Fuck me." He rocked against the older man, his muscles squeezing and caressing, and driving Fox dangerously to the edge of insanity.

Waves of pleasure rippled through Fox as his cock was frantically milked, and every little voice he'd ever heard in his life screamed for him to let go and fuck Alex straight through the mattress. His body wanted so much to do just that, but his heart wouldn't let him. And he knew it was the same for Alex. The other man's body might have been crying out for a quick, fierce possession , but it was his heart asking to be loved earlier, and Fox knew which part of him needed the most attention right now.

Grasping the younger man's hands, Fox interlaced their fingers and gently pinned them to the bed beside the sable head. Alex's whimpers of protest were immediately shushed, and Fox lowered his head, brushing the flushed lips with his own before claiming a bone melting kiss. Not releasing Alex's mouth, he began to move slowly, establishing a fluid rhythm. He released one of his lover's hands and let his hand glide down the tanned body, wrapping around the cock wedged between them.

Alex broke the kiss unintentionally, his head snapping back into the pillows as Fox began to gently work his cock. His mouth fell open, and a soft, mewling sound escaped, sending tiny ripples of electricity fluttering through his lover's body.

"So beautiful," Fox whispered, his voice shaking with equal amounts of love and desire. "So, so beautiful." He increased the speed of his strokes but maintained the same degree of tenderness, showering Alex with loving kisses and caresses, and receiving the same in return.

"Love you baby," Alex rasped then exhaled sharply as Fox changed his angle and hit the younger man's prostate on his next stroke.

"Oh, God," he moaned, arching against the older man. "God, Fox, I..." The rest of his words died in his throat and were replaced by a coarse, throaty growl as Fox pulled back and thrust again, renewing the unbelievable sensation.

"You what?" Fox whispered, breathing the words into the overwhelmed man's ear. "You want to come?"

Alex nodded, hugging his lover to him.

"Do you need to?"

"*Yes*."

Fox increased his pace, his hand moving in perfect time with his hips.

"I know, baby...me too. Come on. I'm ready...can't hold it. Come with me..."

He moved rapidly now, his cock repeatedly stroking Alex's prostate, and his hand flew over the younger man's erection. As Alex stiffened beneath him and began to wail, he felt his own orgasm hit with hurricane force. His teeth clamped together so tightly he thought his jaw would shatter, and a harsh groan tore from his throat as he came, each violent muscle spasm draining him of what was left of his strength.

His muscles turned to liquid, giving out on him completely, and Fox collapsed into his lover's arms. The two lay together, too weak to move or speak, the only signs of life being the soft, satisfied purrs rumbling in each chest.

Long minutes later, Fox lifted his head and brushed a few wild sable strands away from the other's forehead. Then, carefully withdrawing his depleted cock, he discarded the condom and removed Alex's as well.

The younger man moaned softly as the latex was gently pulled off, and he reached out blindly, searching for the lost warmth of his lover. He found it when, seconds later, Fox returned, blanketing Alex's body with his own and peppering his face with kisses.

"I think I really like all this love stuff," Alex moaned softly, capturing Fox's mouth for a teasing kiss.

The older man chuckled and returned the kiss then lay his head on Alex's shoulder. "Me too." He lifted his head and searched Alex's eyes. "Are you okay?"

Alex sighed, smiling at Fox's continued concern. "You can stop worrying now. I'm fine." He wrapped his arms around the older man's neck and stared up at him, eyes shining. "I'm better than fine."

"Yeah?"

Alex stretched and nodded, moaning contentedly.

Fox traced the swell of the younger man's lip with the tip of one finger.

"Happy?"

The smile faded from Alex's lips. "Like I never thought I could be. Thank you for finding me, Fox. If you hadn't, this would just be another afternoon spent staring at the walls, trying not to feel or think too much."

"What do you mean?"

Alex's gaze dropped away from Fox's, and some of the light faded from his eyes. "I couldn't allow myself. Not if I was going to get up and go downtown another night. I had to keep it turned off. Sometimes it was really hard depending on what the night before had been like."

Fox stroked the other man's hair and planted a reassuring kiss on his cheek.

"Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"What did you mean when you said you didn't want to feel them?"

Alex hesitated for a long while, trying to gather his thoughts, then he looked back up at Fox.

"Customers. I could feel them all. Layer upon layer of filth added with each one. It never went away, I couldn't make it." He threaded the fingers of one hand through the golden brown hair, anchoring them at the back of Fox's head. "But I knew you could. Because of you I feel human, and that's something I haven't felt for almost a decade.

"So damn strange," Alex mused softly. "The one person with more right than anyone to want to kill me ends up being the one to save me." His voice lowered to an almost inaudible level. "To love me."

Fox rolled onto the mattress, stretching out on his back, and drew Alex into his arms. "Stranger things have happened."

"To you?"

Fox thought a minute then began to laugh softly. "I guess not. But I'm not questioning it."

"Don't worry, Fox, Scully will have enough questions for the both of you."

The soft, deadpan tone revealed the depth of the younger man's concern about Fox's partner's reaction.

"Don't give Scully another thought," he said reassuringly. "I'll handle her."

"I find it kinda hard to believe that Scully takes well to being *handled*."

"Well...she doesn't. But she's my friend as well as partner. When she sees how happy I am, she'll come around."

"I don't know, I...." Alex stopped in mid sentence and lifted his head, grinning down at the older man, who attempted to look as though he had no idea that his hand was gliding back and forth over Alex's ass.

"What're you doing?"

"Doing?"

"Yeah. With your hand."

"Hmm? Oh, nothing."

"Fox..."

The older man emitted an amused chuckle. "It took your mind off Scully, didn't it?"

"Yeah, but now you went and said her name, so I'm thinking about her again."

Fox rolled over, spinning Alex beneath him.

"Forget Scully," he commanded softly, licking a moist path up the younger man's throat. "We don't have to think about her for a week and half yet, so let's not, okay?"

"Okay," Alex breathed, already feeling the stirrings of arousal. "I guess I can do that."

"You *guess*?" Fox asked, catching his lover's lower lip between his teeth and tugging.

"Yeah," Alex answered, pulling his head away and giving Fox a smoky stare. "As long as you keep me distracted. Think you're up to it?"

Fox shifted, letting his hardening cock brush against the other man's thigh.

"Yeah, I think I am."

The younger man purred softly, letting his hands rub gently over Fox's ass. "Gonna be a long night, isn't it?"

"Ah, babe," Fox answered, grinning as he pulled a handful of condoms out of the nightstand drawer. "It's gonna be long *week*.

********************
 

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