"Alex..." he called softly, brushing the tears away with the back of his hand. "Alex, *please*. Can't you accept what I have to give you without feeling guilty about it?" He buried his face into the pillow beside Alex's head. "I didn't mean to make you feel worse." He picked his head up and cupped Alex's face in one hand. "All I wanted to do was make you feel good. Can't you understand that you're worthy of being loved? I love you for who you are."

"For who you want me to be..."

"No. Why is it so hard to believe that *this* is who you are? Those years that you spent working for those bastards, have *passed*. They went down in flames and *you* lit the match, Alex. You didn't go down with them and that was *your* choice. A soulless killer or a crazy man wouldn't have the conscience or the heart to make the decision that you did. And all this time that we've been together. All the fun we've had. All the hard work on this house...the late nights that I drag in here, and you're waiting for me with a warm meal and a massage...the countless ways you show me your love, every day...you're going to tell me that man isn't really you? Bullshit. You can tell me it isn't you from now till hell freezes over and I won't believe it. So we had a fight. So you were so upset over me walking out, that you trashed the garden. So you've got an insecurity issue that neither one of us knew about till now. So we found out that things aren't as perfect as we thought. So what? We'll talk about it. We'll work it out. But I'm *not* going to stand by and let you punish yourself for it. And think about this. Whatever pain you inflict on yourself, you inflict on me."

Alex blinked and brought his gaze down from the ceiling, to Mulder's face. Mulder stroked his cheek.

"Don't you know how much it hurts me to see you like this? Don't you know that if you *left* me, it'd break my heart?" He studied Alex intently. "Would you break my heart, Lexei?"

Alex shook his head, unable to tear himself away from his lover's hypnotic stare.

"Why not?"

"Because I love you."   "Do you mean that?"

"Yes."

"Can a heartless killer love?"

Alex's eyes glazed over and a single tear escaped the corner of his eye. Mulder kissed it away.

"Would he cry?"

He pulled Alex into his arms and held him while the younger man wept softly into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Alex chanted between shuddering breaths.

Mulder tightened his embrace and rocked his lover slowly. "Shh. Don't. It's okay. It's okay..."

Alex clung tightly to Fox, allowing himself to be soothed by the steady beat of his heart and long, smooth strokes of his hand, up and down his back. They lay quietly together for a while, then Alex spoke.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

"You believe me now?"

"Yeah."

"Absolutely?"

Alex nodded. "And I'm sorry for all the stuff I said to you. If I could take it all back..."

"Don't dwell on it. What's done is done. Just let it go, okay?"

"But I hurt you..."

"You were hurting, too."

"I caused my own pain. I deserved whatever I got. You didn't ."

"Don't say that. You don't deserve to hurt and you've got to stop thinking that you do."

Alex gave no immediate reply. He simply turned his face into Mulder's chest and breathed deeply. After long seconds, he asked, "How's your hand?"

Mulder pulled his right hand away from Alex's back and looked at it. "I hadn't even really thought about it." He bent and unbent his fingers. "A little sore, I guess. But not bad."

Alex reached for the hand and pulled it to his lips. After planting a few soft kisses along the line of the bandage, he held it to his cheek. "You said you hit him..."

"Yeah."

"Just once?"

"No..."

"I didn't think so. Not from the damage I saw last night."

"He was asking for it."

"And you think that now, we've heard the last from him?"

"Yeah, I do."

Alex nodded then scattered a few warm kisses across his lover's chest. "I know you want to talk *all* of this out, but can we just forget about it for a little while?"

Mulder hugged Alex to him. "Sure. You tired?"

"Not really. I was kind of thinking that...um..."

"What?"

He dropped more kisses onto Mulder's chest, then a few up the column of his throat. "Can I...would you let me..."

By the time Alex reached his chin, Mulder's eyes had dropped shut. He tilted his head downward and moaned at the touch of Alex's lips on his. The younger man slid up, covering Mulder's body with his own, continuing to tease his mouth. Mulder threaded a hand through his hair and opened his mouth, inviting him to deepen the kiss. He did and was immediately rewarded with a deep groan of pleasure. Mulder's cock had gradually softened after he'd brought Alex to orgasm a while ago and they'd begun to talk. Now, it jumped back to life, hardening almost instantly at the feel of his lover's mouth on his.

Alex pulled away from the kiss and licked the stubbled line of Mulder's jaw, loving the feel of it against his sensitive tongue. He continued, sweeping up to Mulder's ear, nipping gently at the lobe, then probing the interior. Mulder cocked his head, tilting it into the teasing caress.

"I love you," Alex whispered, his words drawing a hard shudder from his lover. Mulder's fingers tightened in Alex's hair, jerking his head back to center, where he quickly devoured the younger man's mouth. With his free hand, he began to tug at the underwear he still wore, getting an immediate assist from the man on top of him. Mulder groaned as Alex pulled away to get the briefs all the way off, but in an eyeblink he was back, being pulled once again, down to Mulder's searching lips.

Alex lay sprawled along the length of Mulder's body, once again surrendering his mouth to his lover's hungry kiss. Mulder's hand wandered restlessly, up and down his back, then came to rest on the rounded curve of his ass. He pressed down, while pushing up with his hips, impressing on his lover, the extent of his arousal. Alex groaned into his mouth and rolled his hips slowly, teasing his lover's cock to even greater hardness.

Mulder tore himself away from Alex's mouth. "Alex," he panted, "I need you..."

Alex reached down between them and stroked the silky length of Mulder's erection, ignoring his own. "Tell me what you want. I'll do anything..."

"Anything you do to me feels like heaven, baby."

Alex's eyes took on an odd expression. "Please, Fox. Tell me what you want."

Two pairs of eyes locked. One pleading, the other studying. Mulder chewed on his lower lip.

"Lick my nipples."

Obediently, Alex slid down his chest and began to lick gently at one hard peak.

"Mmmm, yeah. Flick it....oh, that's it...now, suck it...Jesus, Alex...Christ..."

Alex worked Mulder's nipple just the way he instructed, then moved on to the other when he was told to. Mulder stroked the dark hair lovingly, thoroughly enjoying Alex's attentions. When it finally hit him that Alex hadn't and wouldn't deviate from his last instructions, he issued a new one.

"Work your way down to my cock. Slowly."

Again, Alex immediately complied, kissing and licking his way down Mulder's chest and belly, pausing to tease the small indentation of his navel, before continuing on toward his goal. As he approached, Mulder spoke again, this time in a noticeably shaky voice.

"Tease me, Lexei. Don't let me come until I tell you to."

Alex repeatedly grazed Mulder's sides and hips with his palms, while the tip of his tongue skittered along the heated surface of his lover's cock. As he worked, he listened attentively to every moan and sigh, expertly gauging the level of Mulder's arousal, adjusting speed and pressure as needed.

Mulder's head rolled slowly on the pillow. Short, audible breaths escaped past his parted lips as Alex followed his instruction, to the letter.

//Jesus, he'so...//

His neck arched, snapping his head back into the pillow, as a warm wetness engulfed him completely and a light suction began.

"Oh shit...oh...God...baby....no....I can't...." He gritted his teeth and just as he was about to pull Alex off of him by his hair, the pressure began to subside. "Damn Alex, that was close," he whispered, struggling to control his breathing.

Alex licked and nuzzled him gently, giving him a chance to come down a bit. When Mulder's respiration slowed to a reasonable rate, Alex resumed, building the agony to another near-explosion, unerringly pulling away at just the right moment.

Mulder gave him no chance to repeat it. He closed his fingers in Alex's hair and pulled him up, into a numbing kiss. "You're just too goddamn good," he murmured appreciatively into the younger man's mouth. "But I've had about all I can take. I need to be inside you..."

Alex nuzzled his jaw. "How do you want it?"

Hazel eyes glistened in the bright morning light. "Your call."

"I'll take it any way you want to give it to me."

Mulder gazed up at his lover, a million questions buzzing through his head. Their sexual relationship was generally one of give and take, neither one being constantly dominant or submissive, but very lately and most especially this morning, it seemed that Alex had become more compliant than Mulder had ever seen him. He drew the fingertips of his bandaged hand down Alex's cheek, thinking. He stretched up the scant few inches it took for him to kiss the beautifully bowed lips. He let his head drop back onto the pillow and he stared up into his lover's face. His faint whisper barely made it up to Alex's ear.

"Ride me."

Alex's face contorted with an emotion Mulder couldn't quite recognize, then it was gone. He sat up slowly, drawing his hands down the older man's chest as he did.

Never taking his eyes off of Alex's, Mulder bucked, bouncing his lover up and down. "Come on, Lexei," he whispered, rubbing his hands over Alex's thighs. He bucked again. "Take it."

Alex rose slightly, grasping Mulder's cock, to help guide it, then lowered himself, slowly taking in every last inch. Mulder's eyes closed and a look of pure ecstasy washed over his features as he felt the tight heat close around him.

"Baby....oh God, baby....slow and easy..."

Alex moved a fraction at a time, keeping a close watch on Fox's reactions, taking care not to take him too close to the edge. His own cock screamed for attention, but he ignored it, instead concentrating all his energies on Fox and what *he* needed.

Mulder lay still, allowing Alex to do the work. Only his hands moved, wandering over Alex's chest and arms, stroking and gently pinching his pebble-hard nipples. Alex groaned with pleasure, then as if realizing his mistake, gently pushed the hands away.

Mulder's eyes opened and held on his lover's. He moved one hand purposefully down to Alex's cock and wrapped his fingers around it. He watched the glazed green disappear behind closing lids as he tenderly stroked the velvety length.

Alex arched his neck and moaned deep in his throat as Mulder worked him in a steady rhythm, comparable to the one he had set.

// So good, so...no. No....//

Alex opened his eyes and pried Mulder's hand away. He grasped the other hand and brought them both up to his mouth, then intertwined their fingers and wound Mulder's arms around his waist, effectively pinning his own hands behind his back. Mulder stared up at him in obvious confusion.

"Lexei..."

Alex leaned over Mulder, offering his mouth, knowing that he'd never refuse it. As he kissed Alex, he bent his knees and tilted his pelvis, providing cradling support and insuring that Alex remained fitted tightly to him. As Mulder fed on his lover's lips, Alex began a rhythmic contracting of his muscles, milking the cock inside him, even as he continued to rock back and forth.

Mulder tightened his arms around Alex's waist, pulling the younger man's arms back into a slightly more uncomfortable position. Alex issued not a single whimper of complaint, but rather squeezed the muscles surrounding Mulder's cock, harder, taking his lover dangerously close to the edge.

Mulder knew how close he was and made no attempt to alter Alex's movements. "I'm ready baby," he rasped. "Can't..can't hold it..." He jerked upward, forcing Alex to move faster.

Alex's eyes closed and he obeyed the silent command, thrashing against his lover. His own body ached with need but he refused to give in to it. This was for Fox... His eyes snapped open as he felt his hands being released and himself being yanked down on top of Mulder's chest. He moaned frantically as his cock became trapped between their bodies and he felt the pressure immediately build to a point beyond return. He struggled, trying to free himself, but Mulder's grip was strong and insistent.

"Come on, Lexei...come with me," he gasped into the younger man's ear as he pressed upward, driving all rational though from Alex's mind.

Unable, and no longer willing to maintain control of his needs, Alex let go, taking them both screaming over the precipice, then into the dark, comforting quiet.

Long minutes passed before Mulder regained enough of himself to attend to the man lying passively in his arms. He rubbed Alex's perspiration-dampened back and dropped several kisses into his hair.

"I'm hungry, all of a sudden. How about some breakfast?"

"Yeah, okay," Alex said softly, attempting to get up. "What do you want?"

Mulder held him to his chest. "To know what *you* want. I'm cooking."

"No, I'll do it."

"No, you don't." He rolled Alex underneath him and kissed his nose. "You cook and take care of things around here, all the time."

"But you work so much..."

"Yeah, but I've got nothing pressing going on this weekend. So..." he gave Alex another quick kiss, "I'm going to take care of *you* for a change."

"Fox..."

"This isn't up for discussion," Mulder warned. "I'm going to go grab a shower. You stay right here and relax while I do. When I get out, I'm going to make us breakfast. Got it?"

Alex's eyes fell away from his face and he nodded.

//No argument? Okay, who are you and what the hell have you done with my Alex?//

Mulder decided to let it go. "What would you like?"

Alex shrugged. "Whatever *you* want."

Mulder emitted a soft sigh and rose from the bed. "I'll only be a few minutes."

Alex's eyes followed him to the bathroom, then closed as he swung the door shut. He turned on to his side, pulling a pillow against his chest, trying to replace the warmth lost when Mulder left him.

Almost ten minutes went by when he'd decided that he couldn't stay in bed any longer. He spun to his feet and pulled on his underwear, then walked toward the bathroom. The water was just stopping as he opened the door. He grabbed the towel off the rack and waited. The door slid open and Mulder looked up, a bit startled.

"Sorry," Alex apologized, wrapping the towel around him. "I just...I had to get up."

"S'okay. You just kinda startled me."

Alex rubbed the towel across his dripping chest and arms, then turned him around and started on his back.

"You know..." Mulder said, just realizing what Alex was doing, "I can dry myself."

"I know," Alex stopped, responding with just a tinge of hurt in his tone.

Mulder turned back to face him. "Hey," he tried to lighten the mood. "If you get your jollies from drying me off, far be it from me to stop you."

Alex held the towel out to him. "Here," he said softly. "You're right. You can do it yourself."

Mulder snagged the towel and quickly wrapped it around Alex's wrist before he could let it go, and pulled him forward. Their faces were only inches apart. "Finish," he hissed softly against the younger man's lips.

Alex stood frozen for a number of seconds, then took the towel from Mulder's loosened grip and moved to complete his task.

Mulder stood still, eyes drifting shut as Alex rubbed the soft cotton gently, over every inch of him. He felt his cock begin to stir as the towel moved up his thighs, then between them. A barely audible moan sounded into the humid air.

Alex watched his lover's erection swell to its full length. He looked up to find Mulder staring down at him, hunger blazing again in his eyes. Maintaining eye contact, he leaned forward and gingerly ran the tip of his tongue up the underside of the solid shaft. Mulder cut off a hoarse groan and grabbed hold of the towel, pulling Alex up in front of him. He backed the younger man slowly into the side of the pedestal sink, then abruptly spun him around to face it.

"Bend over."

Shaking, Alex did as he was told. He closed his eyes and waited. Mulder left and returned quickly, slathering his cock with lube, as he did. One hand slid up Alex's back and grasped his shoulder, while the other guided his cock to the small opening. He plunged forward, pulling a sharp gasp from the man under him. Once inside, his hand moved to steady Alex's hip as he pumped relentlessly into him.

Alex gripped the sink with one hand and the nearby towel rack, with the other. He gritted his teeth as Fox slammed into him, using hard, fast strokes. The whimpers above him, grew louder, then ended on a sharp cry as Mulder emptied himself into his lover. Alex remained folded over the sink, until Mulder regained enough strength to move away from him. He stood up straight and turned to find himself immediately enfolded in Mulder's arms.

"You're just too fucking irresistible," Mulder muttered into his throat.

Alex wound his arms around his lover. "Any time you want me," he whispered into Mulder's hair.

Although he knew that Alex was sincere, the statement troubled Mulder. Again, he pushed it aside and hugged Alex to him. The hard length of the younger man's cock brushed against his thigh. He pressed into it. "Let me do something about this."

Alex stiffened and started to pull away. "I'm okay. What I really need is some breakfast. All of a sudden, I'm starving."

Mulder studied him, suspicion shadowing his eyes. "Yeah?"

Alex nodded, not quite meeting his gaze.

"Alex..."

"Really Fox, I'm not...I just...don't really feel up to it."

One golden-brown eyebrow arched upward." Doesn't look that way to me."

"Just a reaction. But I really don't feel like it."

Why didn't you tell me that, a few minutes ago?"

"I mean, for *me*."

He had to say it. "So, what you're telling me is, you let me fuck you just now, without really wanting to."

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I wanted very *much*, to satisfy you..."

"Alex, it turned you on, there's no denying that." He looked down at the other man's still rigid erection, for emphasis. "You're going to stand there and tell me that you don't need to come?"

"I did, not all that long ago."

"So did *I*. What's your point?"

"It's just not that strong an urge, right now." He tried to smile in the face of Mulder's concern. "Food is about all I can think about at the moment, yet you seem intent on starving me."

Mulder stared at him a full ten seconds, before dropping a light kiss on the bridge of his nose.

"Looks like I could use another shower. Mind sharing yours with me?"

Alex rubbed his head against Mulder's shoulder. "Of course not."

They stepped into the shower together, Mulder behind Alex. Mulder washed quickly, then kissing the back of the younger man's neck, he left him to finish his shower, alone.

Alex finished washing, then adjusted the temperature so that the water was almost ice cold. He forced himself to stand under the spray until his cock went limp and shrank, and his teeth began to chatter. Still, it wasn't enough. Not enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex entered the kitchen and stood in the doorway, watching Mulder at the stove. He was so busy, he hadn't even noticed Alex's arrival.

Fried eggs over medium, bacon...wheat toast. His favorite breakfast. And Fox was making it for *him*. His stomach began to flutter and turn.

"Hey." Mulder turned to reach for a bowl on the table and finally spotted him. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Few seconds." Alex walked in and opened up the refrigerator.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting the juice and the cream. Need anything else while I'm in here?"

"Yeah. I need you to sit down. I'll take care of everything." Mulder took the carton of orange juice from him and led him to the table. He pulled out a chair and gently pushed Alex down into it. He picked up the folded paper at the other end of the table and handed it to him. He then picked a glass up from the counter and poured the juice. "Here." Alex took the glass and set it down in front of him. "Don't you move from this chair. I've got everything under control." Mulder leaned down and brushed his lips against Alex's forehead, then turned his attention back to the eggs.

Alex unfolded the paper and began to read an article on the front page. Two paragraphs in, he bent the paper in two and dropped it down onto the table. He sat quietly, staring at the table, until Mulder placed his dish in front of him.

"Eat up."

Alex smiled at him and picked up his fork. Ten minutes later, Mulder wearied of watching him play with his food.

"Did I screw it up?"

"No, it's good."

"Then why are you eating like there's glass in it?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just not very hungry, now."

"Something is still bothering you."

Alex could hear the worry in his voice. He looked up and reached for one of Mulder's hands. "I'm okay, Fox. Please don't worry."

"That's kind of hard to do, you know, Lexei?"

"I...I know. I'm sorry."

"I don't want apologies. I want you to be all right."

"I *am*..."

"You're *not*. Talk to me. What's got you so bugged?"

"*Nothing*."

"Bull."

Alex let go of Mulder's hand and left the table. He moved over to the windows and looked out. Mulder followed. He stood directly behind Alex and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I just want to forget all about this," Alex said softly. "I feel so foolish." He turned to Mulder, eyes pleading. "Can't we just go back a few days? Go on like it never happened?"

"But it *did* happen. And I really don't think that shoving it into a corner is the best thing."

"But I'm all *right*. I just flipped out for a little while. It was stupid jealousy, that's all."

"All that you said to me, came out of a little jealousy? I don't think so. That may have triggered it, but it's deeper than *just* that. We can work it out, Alex. Come on, we started to talk about it, this morning..."

Alex shook his head. "No. No, no. I was j...I was babbling, that's all. Can't you just ignore it?"

"I don't think I can."

Alex closed his fingers in Mulder's shirt and rested his head on his shoulder. "*Please*, Fox. I'm all right, I *swear*. Please, please..."

Mulder wrapped his arms around Alex. "Okay." He rubbed a hand up and down the younger man's back, attempting to soothe him. "Okay, Lexei. I won't push."

They stood that way, together in front of the window, for a long while before Alex pulled himself away from his lover's protective embrace. "Sorry you went through all that trouble," he said, nodding toward their ice-cold breakfast.

"You're still not hungry?"

Alex shook his head. "But if *you* are, I'll get you something..."

"No, I ate enough. You're the one who hasn't had a bite."

"I'll make up for it at lunch." He walked away and began to clear the dishes. Mulder moved to help. He scraped the food into the disposal and handed the plates to Alex, then leaned against the counter and watched him stack the dishwasher.

"What do you want to do today?"

Alex turned the appliance on and turned to face Mulder. "I don't know. Whatever. You have something in mind?"

"Nope." Mulder reached out and pulled Alex into his arms. "And how about we keep it that way? Let's do absolutely nothing. Let's just stay home. Barbecue, watch a movie...cat nap." He inclined his head and nipped at the younger man's chin. "Fool around..."

Alex wrapped his arms around Mulder's waist and buried his face in the side of his neck. "Okay."

"Okay to all of it? Or okay to fooling around?"

"All of it." Alex lifted his head and brushed his cheek against Mulder's. "You could use some rest."

"You too."

"You're the one who has to go to work tomorrow."

"So?" He kissed Alex's neck. "I'm going to finish cleaning up in here..."

"I'll do it."

"No, no." Mulder slipped his fingers through Alex's hair and held his head motionless. He looked into the eyes that refused to remain still. "I got other plans for you. Why don't you go wait for me in the hammock? I'll be there soon."

Alex hesitated, then moved away. He stopped at the door and looked back at Fox, who had already turned to his work. He pushed the door open and exited the kitchen. He walked slowly through the house and out to the back. Pausing on the patio, he looked around the yard. A tidal wave of regret washed over him as he viewed what was left of his beautiful garden. He felt his stomach lurch and was instantly grateful for not having eaten breakfast. He took two deep breaths and moved toward the hammock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Green eyes drifted open and looked up at the man standing beside the hammock.

"Move over."

Alex made room for Fox, who dropped in beside him.

"You were asleep."

"No..."

"Yes, you were. I was standing here for at least five minutes, watching you."

Silence, then a soft query. "So what are these plans you have for me?"

Mulder studied him for a few moments, then pulled him against his chest. He slowly combed his fingers through the soft sable hair. "Just this."

"You made it sound almost ominous."

"Did I? Sorry. I just wanted you to relax." He continued the soothing caress. "Close your eyes. Go back to sleep."

"I don't think I can. I don't know how it is I fell asleep in the first place."

"You're tired. No big mystery in that." Mulder looked down and caught Alex's eyes skittering across the remains of his garden. "I know it may not make you feel any better but, it's not so bad. We can replace the bushes and most of the plants and you can replant your vegetables next year. "In fact," he offered, hugging Alex tightly, "I know I talked about just relaxing today, but if this really bothers you all that much, we can go out and get some stuff and start restoring it, today."

Alex glanced up at Mulder, then back out to the garden, but gave no answer. Mulder released him and rolled out of the hammock. He grasped the younger man's hand and tugged him to his feet.

"Let's go."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well," Mulder grunted, pulling the last tub of hydrangeas out of the pickup, "this is a pretty good start, dontcha think?"

Alex nodded.

Mulder looked at his watch. "Well, we blew right through lunch, but we can have some dinner then get started, if you want."

"Fox, why don't you just take it easy for the rest of the day? You've got work tomorrow. I've got all day tomorrow, to take care of this..."

Mulder shook his head. "If you're tired then, yeah. It can wait till tomorrow. But I can't stand to see that look in your eyes, every time you look around the yard. The sooner we can rebuild it, the sooner maybe, you can start to feel better."

"I understand and I appreciate what you're trying to do...look, I tore it up, *I'll* fix it."

"Alex, I had a hand in this, too."

"You had nothing to do with it. It was me."

"I may not have cut or pulled anything up, but I won't let you shoulder all the responsibility. If I had been a little smarter and realized what Richardson was up to from the jump, we might not be where we are, right now."

"Yeah, we would. Because nothing would have filtered through the jealousy and suspicion I felt. This is *my* fault. I have to fix it myself, or I won't feel right. Please understand."

Impatience crept into Mulder's tone. "I can't. If we can work together, why shouldn't we?"

Alex's gaze dropped to the ground. "I'm sorry. You're right." He picked up a flat of ivy and turned toward the yard.

Mulder remained a while longer, standing by Alex's truck. He closed his eyes and opened them slowly. Then, picking up the hydrangea, he followed Alex into the yard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mulder stood in front of the grill, supposedly tending to the steaks, but he was a million miles away. The light touch of a hand on his arm, startled him. He turned and came face to face with Alex, who'd just come out of the shower. The light from the citronella torches sparkled in his eyes and added a warm glow to his still-damp hair. Mulder stared, speechless, at the sad, beautiful face.

"Are you still not talking to me?"

"I was never *not talking* to you, Alex. I just didn't know what to say. You've got me very confused, you know?"

Alex took one tiny step at a time, until he was molded into Mulder's body. "I'm sorry," he rasped softly, slowly raising his palms against the older man's chest. "I'm sorry." He lowered his head to Mulder's shoulder and pressed closer.

Mulder wound one arm around him and rested his cheek against his head. "It's okay," he said flatly. "Let's just have dinner, all right? These steaks are just about done." He released Alex and returned his attention to the grill. Alex lingered a few seconds longer, then disappeared into the house. A while later, he reappeared, carrying two small bowls of salad and a couple of bottles of beer.

Mulder approached the table with a platter containing the steaks and a couple of baked potatoes. He set the platter down and sat back as Alex immediately began to serve the food. They ate in virtual silence, neither man really enjoying his meal. When they'd finally dispensed with the pretense of eating, Mulder picked up his beer and looked out into the darkened yard.

Alex watched him for a while, then cautiously rose from his chair and came to stand in front of him. Mulder looked up into his face, then followed it down, as Alex sank to the tiled patio floor. He sat motionless, as the younger man carefully placed a hand on his thigh and laid his head on his lap. Long minutes passed, before Mulder raised a hand and began to stroke and pet the glistening dark hair. Alex's eyes drifted shut and he released a long shuddering breath.

Just as Mulder thought he might be falling asleep, Alex's hand began to move higher on his leg, rubbing back and forth. Almost unnoticeably, he shouldered his way between the older man's legs, moving his head against his groin. Mulder continued to finger-comb Alex's hair, as he nuzzled the growing bulge.

Alex stopped for a moment, and looked up into his lover's glittering hazel eyes, silently asking for, and receiving his approval. He unbuttoned Mulder's jeans, then drew the zipper down, revealing the midnight blue boxer-briefs that barely contained a rather impressive erection. Mulder lifted his hips, allowing Alex to pull his jeans and underwear down and off. As soon as the garments were removed, Alex leaned down, pressing his face against his lover's cock, inhaling the smell that was his, alone.

Mulder let his head fall back and a tiny sigh escaped his throat. All the encouragement Alex needed to take things a step further.

Slowly, his tongue inched out and stroked the underside of Mulder's cock, eliciting a barely noticeable twitch in the older man's upper lip. The strokes became increasingly bolder until the man at Mulder's feet, had him squirming helplessly in his seat.

A deep moan rumbled in Mulder's chest as Alex worked him, neglecting not one inch of rigid flesh. Then, using his tongue only, he scooped the fuzzy sac that rested heavily on the chair, into his open mouth. Mulder's fingers curled into his lover's hair and he arched upward.

Damn good. That's what Alex was. A flick of the tongue. Sweep of those impossibly thick eyelashes and Mulder was all his. Mulder knew it and had never been the least bit ashamed to say so. It made Alex smile whenever he heard the claim. A blessed constant in his life, he knew this was one thing that was no lie. The heat that radiated between them could never be fabricated. Time and even now, conflict, could not cool it. If this was all he had, all that was left, he wanted it. If this was all there was to hold Fox to him, he'd use it and use it, well. Please him in any and every way he knew how, just to go on waking up next to him in the morning. The thought that he'd actually tried to leave last night, scared the hell out of him. What if Fox had let him go? What then? He needed Fox, even as he tried to push away the man's attempted sexual demonstrations of love. A perverse form of self-punishment for the way he'd screwed up, but to his mind, it was appropriate. Necessary.

Mulder writhed in his chair, completely overcome by the pleasure that Alex never failed to deliver. When the younger man moved once again to his aching cock, his hips jerked upward, searching for the wet heat, he loved so much.

Alex obliged, wrapping his lips around the head and probed the small opening with his tongue. The bitter promise of Fox's inevitable explosion, teased his mouth. His tongue slid down the underside, then back up, dancing briefly around the tip, before his head dropped and he swallowed his lover's cock, down to the base.

Mulder's mouth fell open and a quick gasp tumbled out, as he bucked once, then fell back into his seat. Alex sucked gently as he pulled up, almost to the head, then slid back down the glistening shaft and stopped halfway. Mulder groaned and bucked again, then again, when Alex still hadn't moved. By the third time, his frustration had gotten the better of him, and he tightened his fingers in the younger man's hair and repeatedly jerked his hips and down, brutally forcing himself in and out of the compliant mouth.

Alex was an expert in the art of *giving head*, but when *he* was in control of the situation. He had no intention to control *this*. He attempted to relax his throat and take his lover's ample length as he had so many times before, but Mulder's erratic movements threw him off balance and he choked several times. Still, he refused to let go, taking the punishing strokes as best he could.

Mulder's increasingly frantic whimpers signaled his coming climax. Alex moved a bit lower on Mulder's cock, giving him a shorter distance to travel, as he continued to assault the younger man's mouth.

"God...mmph...oh, shit....Alex...God..."

Mulder bucked one last time and exploded into Alex's mouth, crying his name into the still, night air. He collapsed into his chair, struggling for breath, as the man on the floor, gently lapped at his gradually softening cock. He slumped in the seat, only vaguely aware of movement and the absence of Alex's presence. An eternity filled with nothing passed, and he felt gentle hands on him, under his arms, pulling him to his feet.

"Come on," the soft voice coaxed, "time for bed."

"The dishes..."

"All done. Let's go."

More asleep than awake, Mulder allowed Alex to lead him to the bedroom, where he was stripped of his clothing and lowered to the mattress. By the time Alex had gone into the bathroom and returned, Mulder was again, sound asleep. Slowly, he removed his own clothes, then slid under the sheet.

A soft sigh broke the silence as Mulder stirred, then went still. Alex turned carefully onto his side and studied his lover. He watched the gentle rise and fall of Mulder's chest for a while, then his gaze wandered up to his face, drinking in the beauty of the sleep-softened features. From the heavy fringe of golden-brown lashes, to the moderately stubbled jaw, to his mouth...that mouth. Soft and beautifully full and...Mark Richardson was a lousy, sneaky son of a bitch, but he was right on the mark about his theory. These lips were just made for...shit, and Alex's cock agreed one thousand percent. It throbbed within the confines of his underwear, begging to feel the wet heat of that mouth, surrounding him. He attempted to push his body's demands away. He lay rigidly still and closed his eyes. Sometime in the early hours of the morning, he fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mulder entered the kitchen, tempted there, by the smells of breakfast. He walked up behind Alex who was at the stove, and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Morning."

"Good morning."

"Smells good."

"Hungry?"

"Yeah." Mulder firmed his grip on the younger man's shoulder, and turned him around. His eyes automatically fell to the light bruise around the right corner of Alex's mouth. He winced, as if slapped. "Alex, I'm..."

"What?"

"Did I do this to you? Last night?"

Alex's twisted to kiss the hand that still rested on his shoulder. "It's okay."

"Does it hurt?"

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's *nothing*."

"I shouldn't have been so rough. It won't happen again..."

Alex's eyes turned a deeper shade of green. "Was it good?"

"Good enough to wipe out any memory of what happened after, and how I got to bed."

"Then don't worry about it. It's well worth a little bruise to know that I satisfied you."

"Not to me." His hand moved up to Alex's cheek and his thumb brushed gently across the injured corner of his mouth. "Not like this. I didn't want to hurt you, Lexei."

"You didn't hurt me." Alex covered Mulder's hand with his own. "Besides...there are lots of times when we're uh...less than tender with each other."

Mulder said nothing. Alex continued, reinforcing his point.

"Remember that hickey I gave you a few weeks ago?" he teased softly. "That was probably a heck of a lot more painful than this. And a lot more noticeable."

A hint of a smile crossed Mulder's lips. "You sure it doesn't hurt?"

"I'm *sure*...speaking of hurt, how's your hand?"

"A little sore, but..."

"I *told* you, you shouldn't have done all that work yesterday."

"Is the yard looking better?"

"Yeah."

"Do you feel better?"

Alex nodded.

Mulder threw his words back at him. "Then it's well worth a little soreness, to know that I made you feel better."

Alex's gaze dropped to the tiled floor between them. He watched the terra cotta patch disappear, as Mulder moved closer. The older man tilted his face up and looked across the very short distance, into his eyes. He searched their green depths for a number of seconds, then very gently, kissed him.

Overly sensitive due to his still unsatisfied state, Alex sighed softly into Mulder's mouth and unconsciously writhed against his body.

Mulder wound an arm around Alex's waist, then slid his hand down to the younger man's ass, rubbing slowly, as he pushed against the solid bulge with his thigh. "Is this for me?" he murmured against Alex's mouth.

//Oh yeah, it's for you. All for you. Take it. I need you to...oh God, I need...//

Alex tensed and pulled away. Avoiding Mulder's questioning eyes, he tried to keep his tone light. "No time for that, now."

"Alex, I've *always* got time for you..."

"Later, okay?" //Oh, that's good. Like he's not going to remember later, that you said that.// "Come on, have some breakfast. You gotta get going, soon."

He managed to coax Mulder to the table and placed his breakfast in front of him. Mulder eyed him warily, as he took the seat across the table and began to pick unenthusiastically at his food.

"You've eaten next to nothing, since yesterday," Mulder commented softly.

"I'm eating..."

Mulder opened his mouth to argue, then thought better of it.

//Don't. Don't upset him, then leave him to brood all day.//

He changed the subject. "Listen I don't know if you remember, but we're supposed to have that party this weekend for Langly's birthday..."

"Yeah, I remember."

"If you're not up to it, we can go out, instead. Or just skip it altogether..."

"I'm fine, Fox. The party'll go on as planned."

A small wrinkle formed on Mulder's brow. "Are you *sure*?"

"Positive." Alex glanced at his watch. "You'd better get going."

Mulder nodded. "Yeah." He pulled his chair back and rose from the table. Alex did the same and followed him to the door. Mulder swung the heavy oak open, and turned to Alex, who stood quietly behind him. He reached out and ran his knuckles down the younger man's cheek. "See you, tonight."

Alex gave him a soft, half smile and nodded.

Mulder's hand dropped from his face and wrapped itself around his upper arm.

"Come here."

Alex took three steps forward and found himself immediately encircled in the older man's arms, immersed in a long, sensuous kiss.

Reluctantly, Mulder pulled away and with one last melting glance at his lover, turned and walked toward the garage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey."

"Morning." Scully shed her suit jacket and draped it across the back of her chair. "God, it's like a sauna in here. Don't tell me the AC is out."

"They promised it'd only be for a little while."

"Oh yeah, right. I've heard that before." She dropped down in the chair beside Mulder's desk. "So....how was your weekend?"

Mulder emitted a soft sigh before speaking. "Confusing, is the best word I can come up with at the moment."

"I didn't hear from you. You didn't show up on my doorstep..."

Mulder smiled. "No. We'll work it out...soon as I figure out *how*."

"I'm not following."

"Well like I said, he's got me confused. In the course of one day, he's gone from one end of the emotional spectrum, to the other." He looked from his desk, to Scully's face. "My 'mountain lion' has turned into a docile, declawed housecat."

Scully squinted at him. "Huh?"

"He's loaded with guilt over what happened. And as a result, he's being completely agreeable. Except when it comes to sex...or anything involving *him*."

"You're really losing me, Mulder."

"He's being unselfish to the point where it's more like punishment. He's punishing himself, Scully, for a situation that he sees as completely his fault. He thinks he's been fooling himself *and* me for the past year and a half."

"Fooling you, how?"

"He thinks that he'd only been masquerading as a decent human being all this time and that this mess with Richardson had caused the *real him* to resurface."

"Is he nuts?"

"*He* thinks so. He sort of went off the deep end, Saturday night. It wasn't till late Sunday morning, that he stopped talking about leaving."

"Leaving?"

"Said it wasn't his home. That he didn't deserve me or the house or anything else good in his life. I had to take his suitcase away from him and literally restrain him, to stop him from pulling his clothes out of the drawers. Then he just came apart. After a while, he let me put him to bed, but he stayed frozen, with his back to me...even when I put my arms around him and pulled him against me. We woke up yesterday morning and it almost started all over again. But I got him to talk. A little, anyway. I was straddling him to keep him from leaving, one thing led to another and I ended up..." he paused for a moment, then continued. "This isn't what it sounds like but...I held him down and forced him to accept a little pleasure. I knew he wouldn't be able to deny what he felt, for long. As soon as I had him past the point of refusal, I let him go. When it was over and he recovered, he lay there, staring up at the ceiling. Tears started streaming down his face." Mulder's gaze dropped again to the desk and he shook his head.

"I don't understand, Mulder. Why was he crying?"

"Guilt. He felt...he *feels* like he doesn't deserve my attention...or my affection."

Scully rolled her eyes. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know. I mean, just because I know what the problem is, that doesn't mean that I have the slightest idea how to solve it. I gotta do something though, and soon. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I want *my* Alex back. Stubborn, opinionated, wise-ass answer for everything...aggressive..."

"Aggressive, huh?"

The right corner of Mulder's mouth curved into a trace of a smile. "There are times when we can get pretty...exuberant. And Alex can give as good as he gets..." He raised and lowered his eyebrows. "*Better*. And ordinarily, a litle bruise or a scratch on either of us won't bother me, but...I uh...I left a bruise at the corner of his mouth, last night. I didn't realize it till this morning. I feel terrible about it. I think it's because he's being so passive. I think that he thinks he needs to pay for hurting me and destroying the garden and...I'm just...I'm very uncomfortable with the way he's acting. I don't want to *use* him, Scully. But that's what it felt like, last night and especially this morning, when I saw his face."

"I don't know what to say, Mulder. Just sit him down and talk to him. Tell him how you feel."

"I've tried to talk to him. He just keeps saying that he's all right and he asks me if we can't please forget about it."

"Tell him *no*! Tell him *you* want to talk about it and get it settled."

"I tried to insist, yesterday morning. He got almost hysterical on me. I got scared and promised not to push."

"Jeez, Mulder..."

"After that scene Saturday night, I would have done anything to keep him calm."

"I understand that you don't want to upset him Mulder, but this has *got* to be confronted."

"I know. I...I just...I think I'll give him a little more time. He's still too vulnerable."

"Well, you gotta play it the way you think you need to. Just don't let it go on too long. It's not good for either of you."

"I know."

Scully gave him a sympathetic smile and patted his hand. "Okay, heart to heart hour is over. Time to get to work."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mulder pulled into the garage beside Alex's truck and breathed a sigh of relief. He'd secretly feared that once he was out of the house, Alex might take off. He thought many times during the course of the day, that he should call. Go home for lunch even, but neither of those thing was something he ordinarily did, and he didn't want to make it look to Alex like he was checking up on him. He lifted his suit jacket front the seat beside him, and headed toward the house.

The front door swung open, as Alex was crossing through the living room. He stopped in his tracks, his fingers tightening involuntarily on the rim of the laundry basket that he held. He returned Mulder's wary smile as the older man moved toward him.

"Hi."

"Hi."

As he moved in for a kiss, Mulder took notice of the bruise that seemed to have darkened a bit, since this morning. He cautiously covered Alex's mouth with his own, then pulled away.

"What'd you do, today?"

"Worked outside, mostly." He shifted the basket in his arms. "Laundry..."

Mulder nodded.

"Diner'll be ready, soon."

"Okay, I'll go change."

Alex rubbed his cheek against the palm that rose to caress it. Mulder paused for a moment, staring intently at his lover, then retreated to the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinnertime passed uneventfully. The two men made small talk, discussing Mulder's work and the birthday party they'd had planned for the weekend.

"Have you seen Skinner?" Alex asked, after a sip of iced tea.

"Yeah, we had a meeting with him, this afternoon."

"Is he coming?"

"He said he was pretty sure he could make it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I know. Shocked me, too. Well you know, it's been a long time. He had to come to the realization sooner or later, that you and I aren't just some ten minute fling. His only choices were to accept that, or flush our friendship."

"He may accept us, but it's only *because* of your friendship. He'll always hate me."

"He shouldn't. You two are even and it doesn't help anything to hold grudges. Maybe he realizes that, as well."

Alex shrugged. "We'll see."

Mulder grinned at him. "Yeah, we will."

When dinner was finished, Mulder rose to help Alex clear the table. Alex of course, protested.

"Leave it, Fox. I can handle it. Why don't you go relax?"

"I *can't* go relax, I've got some work to do, and I'm trying to put it off." He smirked at Alex. "Why don't *you* go relax, and *I'll* take care of this?"

"Uh uh. Out. Get to work."

Mulder sighed and put his dish down on the counter, giving Alex an exaggerated whine. "I don't want to..."

"Yeah, I know." Alex turned him toward the door and gave him a gentle shove.

"When you're done, will you come and find me in the office?"

A slight hesitation then, "Okay."   Mulder disappeared from the kitchen, leaving Alex to himself. He moved slowly around the room, taking his time, cleaning up. When he cleaned everything he could possibly clean, he left the kitchen and walked down the hall, to Mulder's office. He stood in the open doorway, watching his lover root through case file after case file, muttering to himself all the while.

"Come on, come on...one goddamn little time discrepancy and my whole case is shot to shit..." Mulder threw another file down on the pile to his right, and caught something in the corner of his eye. He swiveled his chair around and found Alex lingering in the doorway. He pulled his glasses down to the tip of his nose and smiled. "Ah. Distraction."

"Sorry. You asked me to join you, so I..." He turned sideways, ready to leave. "I'll just go find..."

"No!" Mulder reached out, knowing he was too far to touch Alex. "You misunderstood me. I'm *grateful* for the distraction." He waved his outstretched hand. "Get in here."

Alex stepped into the room and looked around at the chaos. "This is some mess. Can I help you find something?"

"I'm looking for a nineteen ninety seven file. There were six murders committed in Augusta, Georgia and surrounding cities. They had a striking similarity to those that are happening around here. Officials are hesitant to make a connection, but if I can find the times of death of the Georgia victims, I'll have proof that they can't ignore."

Alex sat down on the floor and opened up a file. "What's time of death got to do with it?"

"All four of the victims in this area, have the same approximate TOD."

"How approximate?"

"Within a few minutes."

"And you're betting that these other victims were killed around the same time of day?"

"Night. Morning, actually. Between three fourteen and three nineteen."

"Any other similarities?"

"None that I can pinpoint, so far. There's got to be something...wait...I got it. This is the file I'm looking for."

Alex sat at Mulder's feet, arms draped around bent knees, waiting quietly for the older man to finish reading. He smiled as he watched a bright sparkle appear in the gold-flecked eyes.

"Got your proof?"

"Three sixteen...three fifteen...three fifteen...three eighteen...three seventeen..." He looked from the folder, to Alex. "...three fourteen."

"Now, you just gotta sell it to those yahoos, running the investigation."

"Yeah." Mulder tossed the file onto his desk and switched the computer on.

Alex pushed himself to his knees, and began sorting and stacking the folders.

"You don't have to do that, Lexei. It's my mess, I'll clean it up."

Alex looked up from his task. "It's okay. You just get to work on your report. That way when you're done, you can just go to bed."

Mulder gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you."

Alex returned the smile and went back to sorting and stacking. When he was through, Mulder was still pounding maniacally at the keyboard. Alex unfolded himself and rose from the floor. The movement caught Mulder's attention.

"Where are you going?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know, I just..."

"Don't leave, okay?"

"You're so busy, you won't even know I'm gone."

"Yeah, I will. I know this sounds stupid, but...I hate being in here, alone. I work a lot better with you in the room."

Alex frowned his confusion.

Mulder reached out, running a hand down his hip and leg. "I just like to feel you near me. Okay?"

Alex gave him a tiny smile and nodded. He turned toward the sofa and dropped down into it. He picked up a magazine from the small stack on the floor and began to leaf through it.

Satisfied, Mulder returned to his work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mulder hit 'print' and stretched his back and arms. He brought his left arm down in front of his face and looked at his watch.

//Jesus, twelve thirty-three.//

The chair issued a tiny squeak as he spun around and looked at Alex. A soft smile graced his lips, as he watched his lover sleeping peacefully on the sofa. He rose to his feet, stretched again and walked quietly over to the unconscious man. He lowered himself to the thick, forest green carpet, sat by Alex's head, and studied his face. "So beautiful," he whispered almost inaudibly, the back of his hand, grazing the surface of the thick, sable hair. Matching eyelashes drifted upward and sleep-glazed eyes attempted to focus on the figure before them. Mulder's hand traveled down to Alex's face and lingered at his cheek, his thumb tracing light circles, just below the bone. The green eyes became more alert. They watched the ever-present pout of his lover's lips become more pronounced, and his hazel eyes change and darken to a turbulent black-green. His heart began to pound double time, as Mulder leaned in and brushed his jaw with his mouth.

"Remember what you said this morning?"

Alex swallowed past the lump forming in his throat. He continued to stare up into Mulder's eyes, saying nothing.

"You said, *later*. Well, it's later."

Still, nothing.

Mulder's hand traveled down to the buttons on Alex's shirt, undoing one at a time. "How about the other morning? Do you remember what you said, then?"

And...nothing.

"You said, anytime I wanted you. I want you, now." He undid the last button and swept his hand back and forth across Alex's chest, pushing the shirt away, as he did.

Alex's eyes rolled up and his lids dropped over them, as Mulder continued to caress his heated skin.

"I've been thinking about you, all day..." One hand slid up to his throat, then back down, arching up on fingertips as it went. "Carried my jacket around in *front* of me, quite a lot..." He watched Alex's mouth drop open as his fingers wandered over a flat nipple. Heard the soft gasp as he gently pinched the hardening nub. "I could see you so clearly in my mind, sprawled on our bed, stroking your cock..." He shifted into a kneeling position, allowing himself better access to his lover's body. "...teasing yourself..." His left hand joined his right, giving equal attention to the other nipple. "...waiting for me..." He rolled both nipples between his fingers, pulling a low moan from Alex. "Did you jerk off today, Alex? Or did you save it all up for me?"

Alex's head rolled back and forth against the cushion. His breaths came in shallow pants as Fox's words as well as his touch, sent an electrical surge through his body.

Mulder lowered his head down to Alex's, nibbling and licking at his ear. His coarse whisper tickled the interior. "Tell me you waited for me. Tell me you're so frustrated right now, that you're ready the climb the walls..."

Alex whimpered his name, softly.

"What is it, Lexei? What do you want?" Mulder's hand slid down to the hard bulge in the lightweight pants that Alex wore. "Is it this?"

Alex jerked against his hand and was rewarded with a gentle squeeze. Whatever little will he had when he first woke, was gone. He needed what Fox was offering. He couldn't last another hour without it, and he hated himself for his weakness.

"Please...Fox, please..."

"Have you waited for me since the last time? Has the pressure been building since Sunday morning?"

Alex nodded frantically.

Mulder unbuttoned Alex's pants and slid the zipper down. "You can't wait another minute, can you?"

"No...no, *please*. I can't...I..."

Alex's frantic sobs were abruptly cut off as Mulder's mouth came down on his. He plunged his hands into the golden-brown hair, loving the silky, sensuous feel of it, as it flowed between his fingers. His soft cries for fulfillment became more demanding as his lover's tongue plunged into his mouth, stroking and teasing everywhere, and the hand at his crotch, worked his cock free of his clothing.

Mulder pulled away from the kiss and smiled as Alex twisted and moaned. He caught the hands that were blindly reaching for him and held the wrists together in one hand. His other hand skimmed the underside of Alex's cock. "Easy, babe. Take it easy..."

Alex's eyes fluttered open and stared up at the older man. Mulder bent down and dragged his tongue across a nipple, sending a shudder through him.

The golden-brown head rose, then the man. He stared down into Alex's tortured green eyes as he unbuttoned and discarded his own shirt. Slowly, he shed his pants and underwear, then backed up and settled in his chair.

"Get up."

Alex did as he was told and stood trembling, waiting for his next instruction.

"Come here."

The younger man approached and stood within inches of the chair. Mulder spread his legs and silently instructed Alex to step between them. His eyes slid down the lean body and settled on the rock hard erection, bobbing in front of his face. He leaned forward and nuzzled the head, then teased the weeping tip with his tongue. Alex bit back a sob and turned his face.

"Look at me, Lexei." Mulder waited, gently rubbing the backs of Alex's thighs, until the younger man obeyed. When their eyes finally met, Mulder's hands slid up to his ass, squeezing and caressing. "You always love to watch me suck you. Watch me." He leaned forward again, eyes still turned up to his lover's face, and circled the head of his cock with his tongue.

Reluctantly, Alex kept his eyes on Mulder. His lower lip trembled as the older man suckled the blunt head for a few moments, then released it, kissing the very tip.

"Fuck my mouth, baby."

Alex squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

"Do it."

"Fox, don't...please, no..."

"Yes."

Mulder opened his mouth and took the half of Alex's length inside. He tightened his grip on the younger man's ass, and pulled him forward. When Alex refused to move, Mulder pushed him back, then forward again. A few more encouraging pushes and pulls, and Alex could take no more. He began to move on his own, thrusting steadily, down Mulder's throat. He moaned softly, as he felt his body begin to tighten. The moans turned to frustrated whimpers, as Mulder released him and pushed him back. He brought his legs together and began to pull Alex toward him, again.

"Straddle my legs, then sit down."

Alex moved over Mulder and lowered himself onto his legs, sitting close to the other man's knees.

"No." Mulder gripped his hips and pulled him forward, as far as he could go. "Right here." He grasped both cocks together in one hand and squeezed. Alex's eyes fluttered, threatening to close. Mulder's other hand came in to play, now holding one cock in each and slowly stroking. "God, that's good," he whispered. "But your hand would feel better." He released his own cock and wrapped Alex's hand around it. The younger man's head fell back as he began an almost identical rhythm to that of his lover. Soft, impatient sounds emitted from his throat.

Mulder brought his free hand up to the back of Alex's head and pulled it down, until their foreheads were resting against each other. He reduced the pressure on Alex's cock, pulling a moan of protest from the other man.

"Slow it down, baby. Not yet, okay?"

"But I...I can't...I can't..."

"Breathe, Alex. Yes, you can. Come on...relax."

Alex drew a hard breath and released it. Then another.

"That's it," Mulder cooed. "That's good." He continued to feather Alex's cock with light strokes. "I ever tell you how absolutely gorgeous you are when you're turned on, like this?"

Alex closed his eyes and frowned.

"Your skin flushes and your eyes...God, baby, your eyes turn this incredible shade of green." He curled his fingers in the sable hair and gently pulled Alex's head away from his. As he did so, the heavy lids lifted halfway. He smiled up into forest-green eyes. "Just like that. Beautiful."

Alex's gaze skittered away and came to rest upon a stack of files on the floor, just to Mulder's left. He inhaled sharply as his lover regained his attention with a long, slow pull on his cock.

This time, Mulder held his eyes as he reached back, pulling one of the desk drawers open. He produced a tube of lubrication and released Alex long enough to squeeze some into his hand and apply it to his own cock. He patted Alex's ass with one hand. "Up." Alex obeyed, lifting himself enough for Mulder to position his cock. "Okay babe, it's all yours."

Alex sank down, wiggling just enough to help work his lover's cock into the tight muscle. Tiny whines escaped his compressed lips, when Mulder pushed upward, slowly burying inch after inch of his erection in his ass. When Alex was fully impaled, he ceased movement and turned tormented eyes to Mulder.

"It's okay," Mulder breathed. "I don't want to wait anymore, either." He began to move, prompting Alex to do the same. The younger man rose slightly, then lowered himself, groaning softly as he did. He repeated the action slowly, again and again.

Mulder slid down a fraction, in the chair, for a better angle. He knew he'd achieved it, when Alex's lips parted and a long, low growl pushed past them. His hips jerked upward, in search of confirmation. It came in the form of a loud, sobbing cry.

"That's the spot, huh baby?" he panted, executing the same move, over and over. Alex cried out in answer. Mulder wrapped his fingers around his lover's cock and began to slowly milk it. "I know...I know. It's time to come, now. Come with me, baby."

Gratefully, Alex rocked faster, feeling his orgasm build.

Mulder wound an arm tightly around Alex's waist and increased the speed of the hand, pumping his cock. "God....that's...oh...I love...love you, Lexei..."

Alex's eyes flew open, then dropped shut again, as he felt the sudden rush of tears. He buried his face in Mulder's shoulder and shuddered violently as he came. And cried.

Mulder thrust into Alex twice more and his own hoarse cries filled the room. He released his lover's quickly softening cock and brought his sticky hand up to join the other, around his waist. He rested his head against the one still burrowed into his shoulder.

Alex lay limply against Mulder's chest, intermittent shivers, still coursing through his body.

"Babe," Mulder whispered sleepily into his ear. "Come on, this is going to get uncomfortable for you. How about a nice warm shower, then we can go to bed?"

No response.

"Alex?" Mulder pushed him away a bit, just far enough to see his face. His eyes were closed and his eyelashes were spiked with moisture "Jesus Lexei, what's wrong?"

Alex lowered his head almost to his chest, and shook it back and forth.

Mulder was fully alert, now. "Talk to me, Lexei. Tell me what's wrong. Did I...did I do something? Did I..."

Alex looked up at Mulder, wide-eyed. "No," He choked in his rush to get the word out. "It's nothing you did. It's...it's nothing." He struggled to compose himself. "I'm okay. I'm...you didn't do anything..."

"I *must* have."

"No! Please, I'm all right. Just a little...a little overwhelmed, I guess."

Mulder searched his bloodshot eyes. "I don't believe you."

Alex again shook his head.

"*Tell* me, Alex."

"No. There's nothing..." Alex disengaged himself and got to his feet. "It's late. You're going to be tired in the morning."

"Don't change the subject."

"I'm not. There's just nothing to talk about. I'm okay, Fox. Please don't worry. I'm tired, I want to go to bed."

Mulder rose and took Alex's hand. "All right. Okay. Let's go have a quick shower first, then we can turn in."

Alex nodded and allowed Mulder to lead him into the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, they were in bed, Alex settled stiffly against Mulder's chest, being petted and caressed, as both men stared into the darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four days later

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. What did you do?"

"What do you mean, what did I do? I put the stuff in the bowl, like you said."

"All at once."

"Well...yeah. Why, shouldn't I have?"

Alex smiled and heaved a patient sigh. "No, you shouldn't have."

"But your instructions say..."

"Nevermind, Fox. It's okay." Alex took the bowl and dumped the contents down the dispenser. "Let's start over." He separated the ingredients into groups. "Now. Measure these out first. Mix them. Then throw this group in and mix that. Okay?"

"I don't get it. What difference does it make *what* order they go in?"

It just does. Are you going to do it?"

"Yeah, I said I'd help, and I will."

"Okay."

"You know, I forgot to ask Scully at work...is she still making lasagna?"

Alex answered, without turning from his potato salad. "As far as I know. When I talked to her yesterday, she said that she was going to."

"Shit."

Alex turned and smiled, as he watched Mulder pick bits of eggshell out of the bowl. He covered the potato salad, shoved it into the refrigerator, then walked up behind Mulder. "I'm done, Fox." His hands slid back and forth across the other man's shoulders. "I can take over, now."

"I'm screwing it up that badly?"

"No...well...yeah."

Mulder hooked his thumbs in the back pockets of his jeans and moved away from the counter. "Sorry. Instead of helping, I'm just making extra work for you."

"It's okay. I appreciate you wanting to help."

"Maybe I could just be your gopher."

Alex looked around. "Thanks, but...I think I've pretty much got everything I need, right here."

Mulder nodded, leaned against the counter and sighed. "I hate to just hang around here while you do all the work." He leered suggestively. "Not that I don't *enjoy* watching you do all the work..."

Alex made no more comment, than a soft laugh.

Mulder wandered over to the refrigerator and opened the door. "Want a beer?"

Alex glanced quickly over his shoulder. "No, thanks."

"Anything?"

"No."

Mulder pulled a Corona off the second shelf and a chunk of lime, from the Ziplock bag, beside the six-pack. He sat at the table, squeezing, then dropping the lime into the bottle. He watched his younger lover move confidently around the kitchen and smiled. Things hadn't been too bad in the last few days. He thought he'd finally figured out what things sent Alex off the deep end, and did his damndest to avoid them.

First, keep completely off the subject of last weekend. No questions, no references. He could do that. For a while, anyway. At least until he thought Alex was more himself.

Second, no overly sweet gestures or words. Those seemed to really throw Alex. It drove Mulder crazy not to tell him that he loved him. It wasn't too long after they'd become a couple, that Mulder discovered how demonstrative *and* verbal he could be about his feelings and he liked it. Now, he found himself having to alter those habits and it didn't thrill him a bit.

His smile started to fade. Maybe things weren't as okay as he'd talked himself into believing...

Third...and this was really killing him...sex. Alex gave it to him, whenever and however he wanted it, but did everything in his power to thwart Mulder's attempts to give *him* any pleasure. On that rare occasion when Mulder had managed to get past his defenses, Alex would afterward drop into a very quiet mood, bordering on depression.

Christ, this wasn't right. It couldn't go on, he couldn't let it. He couldn't allow Alex to go on punishing himself, but he was at a loss on how to stop him.

He refocused on Alex, who was just pouring the batter into the pans. When he got them into the oven, he picked one of the beaters up out of the bowl and licked it.

"Mmmm. This cake is going to be good." He held the beater out in offering. "Want some?"

Mulder shook his head quietly, as he took a long swallow of his beer.

Alex lifted the utensil again to his mouth. His tongue slithered from between the irresistibly bowed lips and traveled up the cool steel, taking with it, more of the thick mixture.

Mulder watched hungrily, each pass of that luscious tongue. His respiration grew erratic, as he imagined that it was his rapidly growing erection, that Alex was so blissfully licking.

When both beaters were clean, Alex dropped them into the sink. He then resorted to using his fingers, to swipe the remaining batter from the bowl.

Mulder watched his lover innocently enjoying the cake batter and wondered what he would do, if he knew the effect his actions were having on him.

Almost as his thoughts were completed, Alex looked up, two fingers in his mouth, and caught Mulder's eye. A year and a half with the man was more than sufficient for Alex to know exactly what that look in his eyes meant. He froze for a few seconds, then pulled his fingers from his mouth. His tongue inched out to lick away the speck of batter, at the corner of his mouth. He glanced down at the bowl, then up at Mulder. "You sure you don't want some?"

Mulder rose from his chair and started slowly, toward the man standing against the counter. "You make it look so good," he said softly, "maybe I'll have a little."

Alex dipped his fingers back into the bowl and held them up to Mulder's mouth, as the older man reached him.

Mulder wound his arms around Alex's waist, pressing the full length of their bodies together. He opened his mouth, inviting Alex to slip his fingers inside. His eyes closed as he very thoroughly, sucked every last bit of batter from his lover's fingers. When he finished, he drew away and opened his eyes, finding that Alex's eyes were now shut. Not for long, as the younger man sensed that his lover was staring at him.

A sliver of green appeared under the heavy lids, then more became visible and more, as Alex's interest in the activity to his lower right, grew.

Mulder dipped one finger into the bowl and brought it up to Alex's face. The younger man's eyes never left his, as his finger drew a line of batter down the soft cheek. Mulder pitched forward and slowly licked the sweet mixture away. He felt the muscle twitch in response and found himself wishing that he could be sure whether the reaction was good or bad. He backed away just a few inches and scooped up a bit more of the bowl's contents. His eyes flicked down to Alex's chest and his finger soon followed, distributing another line of batter there, from the base of his throat, down to the third open button of his shirt. A small grunt formed in the convulsing throat, as Mulder's tongue performed a sideways swipe, removing the batter, one tiny section at a time. When all traces were gone, Mulder lifted his head and met his lover's eyes.

"You're right," he whispered. "It *is* good." His finger rose again, more batter at the tip, and smeared it across Alex's lips. He repeated the same process, slowly licking the batter away, moaning softly as he did. "So, so good..."

Alex gripped the edge of the counter for support, sure that if he didn't, his increasingly shaky legs would not hold him up much longer. He fought to control the soft whimpers as they continued to escape past his lips, but to no avail. Control seemed to be slipping away quickly.

Alex's condition did not escape Mulder's notice. He moved in without hesitation, pressing his advantage. Both arms clamped around Alex's waist and he covered the younger man's lips with his own, muffling the tiny cries. One hand slipped downward, over the taut muscles of Alex's ass and pulled him into the hard warmth of his body.

"Do something for me Lexei," Mulder murmured against Alex's lips.

Alex's hands moved restlessly, up and down his lover's back. "What?"

"Fuck me."

Alex's hands stilled and Mulder could feel his body tense. He kissed the younger man's chin, moving to his throat, then rested his head upon his shoulder.

"Please? It's been so long since I've felt you inside me..."

"Fox....Fox, I..."

Mulder slid down, brushing every inch of Alex's body, along the way. He settled on his knees, before the younger man, and wrapped his arms around Alex's legs. He rested his cheek against the solid bulge in his lover's pants. "I need you, Lexei." He rubbed his face against Alex's crotch. "Please."

Alex ran a trembling hand through Fox's hair. "God, don't do this to me," he whispered in a barely audible voice.

Mulder reached for the top button of Alex's pants and released it. Next, he pulled the zipper down and slipped his hand inside the slitted fold of his underwear. Alex's hips jerked reflexively as his lover's fingers curled around his rock-hard erection and pulled it free of the material. He lapped at the small bead of fluid that appeared at the tip.

Alex gritted his teeth and held himself up against the counter with one hand, while the other clenched in Mulder's hair.

"Lexei..." Mulder continued to tease the head of his lover's cock. "Baby..."

Alex summoned every last bit of resolve that he had left and pulled away from Mulder's mouth. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply. As he exhaled, he opened his eyes, to find his lover still on his knees, looking up at him. Waiting.

"Please, get up."

Mulder stroked the back of Alex's thigh. "Why?"

"I j...I...don't you want to go into the bedroom?"

Mulder remained on his knees for a moment, then rose to his feet. He studied his lover closely.

"No."

Alex's eyes shifted to his face, then slipped quickly away. "So, what do you..."

"Nothing. Forget it."

//Shit. Oh, damn.//

He reached out, grazing Mulder's arm with his fingertips. "No...no, Fox. I'm sorry, I didn't...I want to, I just..."

"No, you don't," Mulder said softly.

"I *do*. Please don't look at me, like that." Alex grasped Mulder's hand and tugged. "Let's go..."

Mulder stood his ground, shaking his head. "It's okay, Alex. Nevermind."

"*Nooo*..." Alex stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Mulder. He rubbed his cheek against the older man's and pressed his body into the one that stood stiffly before him. "I want you, Fox." He nuzzled and kissed Mulder's throat. "You know I do."

"I *don't* know that, Alex. I saw hesitation all over your face, a minute ago. I don't want to push you into anything you don't want to do."

"You're not pushing. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please, Fox. I'll do anything for you." Soft kisses rained over Mulder's face and neck. "Anything..."

"For me."

"Yes."

"Even if you don't want to."

"I told you, I *do*."

Mulder could see the spark of panic flickering in his eyes. He raised a hand to Alex's face, brushing his thumb over his cheekbone.

"I didn't mean to upset you," Alex croaked, as he slowly leaned forward, tentatively touching his lips to the other man's. "I didn't..."

Mulder brushed his mouth back and forth against Alex's. "I know."

"I'm sorry, Fox..."

"It's okay..."

"I'm..."

Mulder covered Alex's mouth with his own, cutting him off in mid-sentence. If he heard one more 'I'm sorry', he believed he'd go mad.

Alex immersed himself in his lover's kiss, grateful that Fox wasn't angry with him and determined to do nothing to change that. His hands traveled up the front of Mulder's shirt and started undoing the buttons. The moment he got the last one unbuttoned, Mulder pulled the shirt off and started on his. When both men were naked from the waist up, Mulder moved quickly, ridding them both of the rest of their clothing. He led Alex over to the kitchen table and pushed him against it.

"Up."

Alex shot him a confused look. "But I thought you wanted..."

"I changed my mind." Mulder rubbed his hand up Alex's chest to his neck. He stopped halfway and closed his fingers around the younger man's throat, tightening them to the point of mild discomfort. "I want you on the table. Now."

Alex's cock twitched at the low, commanding tone in his lover's voice. He leaned back against the edge of the table and pushed himself onto the burnished oak. The coolness of the wood felt good against his heated skin. He waited quietly, trying to swallow past the light pressure on his throat.

Mulder uncurled his fingers and moved his hand away. Smoky hazel eyes never left glazed green, as he stepped forward and slipped both hands between Alex's knees. He pushed the younger man's legs apart and moved between them. His hands glided up and down the well-muscled thighs as he pitched forward then stopped, his lips just shy of Alex's. "Move forward," he rasped, the vibration of his words, tickling Alex's mouth.

Alex obeyed without delay, then stopped, unsure of how far Mulder wanted him to go.

Mulder leaned back far enough to keep their lips from touching. "A little more."

Alex slid forward again.

"That's good." Mulder ran a hand through Alex's hair and tilted his head back. "Now, lay back."

More soothing coolness spread over the length of Alex's back as he lay on the table. Mulder tucked his hand under his knees and lifted. Alex needed no instruction. He immediately wrapped his legs around Mulder's waist.

Mulder looked down at his lover, on his back, on their kitchen table. Eyelids half closed, the thick sable lashes shading glittering, forest green. His lips, so soft and inviting, parted to allow the heavy breaths an exit. Christ, he was fucking beautiful. And though Mulder knew that this was wrong, this...one-way encounter, he couldn't resist. He reached down and ran two fingers over the head of Alex's dripping cock, forcing himself to ignore the soft grunt, then brought the fingers to his own cock, combining Alex's fluids with his own. He spread the slickness over as much of the surface of his cock as he could, then guided it to his lover's ass.

Alex arched up off of the table as Mulder drove into him. His eyes flew open at the brief flash of pain, then settled back into their half-mast position, as pleasure quickly replaced the discomfort.

Mulder pumped relentlessly into his lover's body, repeatedly pulling Alex's ass hard, against his own hips. He tried to keep his eyes open. He wanted to be looking at his Lexei, when he came, but it was impossible. It was as if weights were attached to his eyelids and they slipped shut.

Alex scratched at the smooth wood, struggling to keep from wrapping his hand around his throbbing cock, as Mulder jerked his body back and forth across the table.

"Alex," Mulder moaned. "Oh, *Jesus*..."

Alex whimpered as his lover tightened his hold on his hips and slammed into him. The heavy table groaned in protest, then gave in to the force of Mulder's thrusts, sliding a fraction at a time, in a forward direction.

"It's....I'm...oh God, Alex...oh God..."

Mulder's harsh groans filled the kitchen as he emptied himself into his lover, then collapsed onto his chest.

Alex's legs fell away from Mulder's waist and hung over the side of the table. He lay rigidly beneath the weight of his exhausted lover, praying that Mulder would recover enough to move off of him. His still very erect cock was now trapped between their bodies and any second now, he was going to break...

As if he'd heard Alex's thoughts, Mulder lifted himself on weak arms, above the younger man. As he rose, Alex pulled himself up into a sitting position. Mulder glanced down at the other man's continued state of arousal and felt a knot tighten in his stomach. He raised weary eyes to his lover's face.

"Lexei..."

Alex moved slowly off of the table and picked up his pants. As he put them on, he spoke softly. There was definite pain behind the forced lightness in his tone.

"Why don't you go take a shower and go to bed? You look so tired."

"What about you?"

Alex buttoned and zippered his pants, then slipped his shirt on. "The cakes still has a few minutes to go. I'll clean up, take them out of the oven, then I'll be in." He walked up to Mulder and handed him his clothes. The two men stared quietly at each other for a moment. Alex was the first to break eye contact.

"Are you all right?" Mulder asked softly.

Alex nodded and gave him a trace of a smile.

"Alex..."

"I'm fine. Better, now that we're okay?"

Mulder's gaze fell away from Alex's for a moment, but rose up again, quickly.

//Okay? Jesus Christ, how can *we* be okay, when *you're* not okay?//

He nodded and slid one arm around Alex, pulling him close.

"You won't be too long?"

"No."

Mulder kissed the side of Alex's head and released him. He exited the kitchen, leaving the younger man standing alone, by the table that was now, going to need a thorough cleaning. Alex moved slowly, taking care of the table and the rest of the kitchen. When the cake was done, he removed the pans from the oven, covered them and retreated to the bathroom. Five minutes later, he was shivering under an icy cold spray.

//Stupid, fuck. You almost blew it, this time. You could have pushed him away for good. You're so fucking lucky, you know that? Not that you deserve to have any luck...//

His erection subsided and shrank but it wasn't until almost ten minutes after that, that Mulder's voice startled him into shutting the water off. He stepped out of the shower and quickly wrapped a towel around his waist. Mulder stood in the doorway, staring at him.

"I thought you'd be asleep by now."

"I'll go to sleep when you come to bed," came the soft reply.

"Just let me brush my teeth and I'll be right there."

Mulder glanced around the bathroom, frowning, then looked back to Alex. "Okay." He turned from the doorway and headed back to the bedroom. He slipped under the sheet and propped himself up against the pillows.

No humidity. Clear mirror.

Alex had taken a cold shower.

Mulder had given some thought to the fact that Alex may have been relieving himself afterward, but that thought, little comfort that it was, just got tossed right out the window.

//Jesus Christ, Lexei...what do I do? How do I get through to you?//

As Mulder contemplated this new revelation, Alex moved silently into the dark room. He felt the gentle depression of the mattress and Alex slide over beside him.

"I hope the cake didn't fall."

"Just a little bit. Nothing that can't be camouflaged."

Mulder turned his head in Alex's direction and studied his lover's profile. "Alex."

"Hmm?"

He opened his mouth but no sound would come out.

Alex looked over at him. "What is it?"

Mulder closed his mouth and sighed heavily.

The younger man pressed himself against Mulder's side, wrapping an arm around his waist and resting his head against his shoulder. A sliver of fear tightened his chest. "Fox?"

Mulder brought a hand up to Alex's back and stroked it's length. "Nothing, Lexei. I just...I..." He couldn't stop the words. Couldn't stop hoping that sooner or later, they'd really sink in and mean to Alex, what they used to. "I love you."

Alex made a conscious effort to keep his muscles relaxed. He closed his eyes, turning his face into Mulder's chest. He nuzzled the light sprinkling of hair, then kissed the warm skin. "I love *you*."

Sensing Alex's struggle, Mulder's hand began to move in firm circles, across his back and shoulders, soothing and massaging the taut muscles.

To his surprise, Alex found himself relaxing under Fox's loving caress. Soon, a calm blackness surrounded him and he dropped heavily, into unconsciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ten forty-two.

Holy shit.

Alex blinked and sat up. His hand automatically went to the vacant spot beside him. Cold. Fox had been up for a while.

He slipped out of bed and headed into the bathroom. Still, no Fox. He shrugged off his lover's absence, assuming that he was simply somewhere else in the house, and turned on the shower.

Twenty minutes later, Alex swung the kitchen door open and glanced around. Everything was in its place, except for the note on the table. He walked over and looked down at the hastily scribbled message.

'Babe,  Got a call about the murder case. Should only be a couple of hours. Love you, F'

Alex drummed his fingers on the oak as he thought.

//Okay. A couple of hours usually means, three or four. So, I guess I'd better start preparing, earlier.//

He threw the note away and, grabbing a Pop Tart, went to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex covered the soda and beer with ice and closed the cooler lid. He looked down at his watch.

Three twenty-two and he hadn't so much as received a phone call from Fox. He'd thought of calling the cell, but Fox had left without it, this morning. Alex found it on the seat cushion of the sofa, while he was straightening up.

//Come on Fox, call. I'm getting worried.//

Worried for his lover's safety *and* worried about the fact that their guests would be arriving soon. And knowing Skinner's penchant for punctuality, *he'd* be the first to arrive.

//Oh, that'd be interesting. Me and Skinner, alone. Can we say, *uncomfortable*?"//

He walked the perimeter of the yard, insuring that all of the citronella torches were full, when he heard the phone ringing in the house. He broke into a sprint, and entering the house, snatched the phone up from the coffee table.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"God, Fox." He took a deep breath and released it. "I was getting worried."

"I know, I figured you would be. I forgot my cell phone at home."

"Yeah, I found it on the couch. You okay?"

"Fine. This just ran *way* longer than I thought it would. There was so much information to check and double check. I'll be home in a little while."

"Okay. Everything's ready."

"Thanks, babe. I'm really sorry..."

"It's fine. Just drive carefully and I'll see you soon."

"Bye."

Alex hung up and breathed a sigh of relief. He walked into the kitchen to make some last minute checks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ringing doorbell just about scared Alex out of his skin. He checked his watch as he walked to the door.

Five thirty-one.

//Shit, shit, shit. It's him, I just know it's him...//

Alex took a deep breath and opened the door.

Walter Skinner stood on the other side of the threshold, holding a bottle of...something, and glaring at the man who'd just opened the door.

"Krycek."

//How the hell does he *do* that? His jaw never moves...//

Alex nodded his greeting and stepped aside, allowing the man to enter.

Skinner brushed past him, looking around. "Where's Mulder?"

Heavy sigh. "He's not here."

Skinner spun on his heel. His eyes narrowed on the younger man. "Where *is* he?"

"Actually, he should have been home by now. He left the house this morning on some call about that serial murder case and hasn't come back, yet."

"Have you heard from him?"

"Yeah. Two hours ago, he said he'd be here, soon..."

Skinner scowled, and took another look around. "Have you tried calling him?"

"Can't. He forgot his cell phone."

"Great," the older man mumbled under his breath. He turned piercing eyes back on Alex. "Scully here?"

"Nobody is here, yet..."

Skinner jerked his head away.

"But I'm sure somebody'll show up, soon." //*Please*, somebody show up, soon...// "Uh...you want a beer or something?"

"No."

//Afraid I'll poison you?//

"Well, you wanna," Alex waved his hand between Skinner and the direction of the yard, "follow me out to the patio? Have a seat?"

Skinner hesitated for a moment, weighing his options. Follow the son of a bitch, or turn around and leave. His upper lip twitched as he considered Mulder. The man was an agent of the FBI, under *his* direction, but they'd been through far more shit together than most bosses and employees, and they'd developed a bond of friendship as a result.

He remembered the day Mulder had shown up on his doorstep to *talk*. An unexplainable feeling of dread settled over him as he invited his agent in. He recalled having the need to sit down, as Mulder revealed his purpose for being there. He sat quietly, allowing Mulder to say everything he had to say. When Mulder had finished, he remained silent. The other man had just dropped a bombshell in his lap and he was torn between his duty as Assistant Director and his feelings as a friend. Friendship won out, though Mulder's choice of a partner disturbed him beyond words. Alex Krycek was the last name in the world that Skinner would ever have expected to come out of Mulder's mouth, but come out, it did.

After the initial shock, Skinner composed himself and confronted Mulder's admission. He pulled no punches with his friend, explaining that he would *never* like or trust Krycek, but if he was Mulder's choice, then somehow, he'd come to terms with it.

Well, it'd taken over a year and a half, but here it was. It was time. He'd come this far. If he turned back now, he had no doubt it would adversely affect his friendship with Mulder and he didn't want that. He raked a critical eye over the young man standing at a safe distance.

Krycek cleaned up good, he admitted grudgingly to himself. The bastard apparently still had a thing for black, though. Black pleated pants, black silk shirt, tucked neatly inside. His eyes flicked up to Alex's face. The silver hoop in his ear stood out against the tanned skin, as did the green of his eyes. Skinner fought back the sudden urge to beat the shit out of him. Instead, he waved Alex on, following the younger man out to the patio. He took a seat and handed Alex the bottle of wine.

"I'll go put this on ice," Alex said, grateful for the chance to get away, if even for a minute.

"Come on Fox, come on...please..." he muttered to himself, as he dumped the bottle and some ice into a bucket. He walked slowly back to the yard, hoping, praying that the front door would open before he got there.

No damn such luck.

Alex dropped into the farthest chair from Skinner's, nervously drumming his fingers on the table. Skinner was the first to speak.

"Nice place."

"Thanks."

A short stretch of silence.

"Thanks for coming."

Skinner shrugged. "I like Langly and the guys. And I'm here for Mulder."

"I know. It means a lot to him."

Skinner's eyes narrowed. He wondered if he'd just imagined the softness in Krycek's tone as he spoke of Mulder.

"Do you really care?"

Alex looked up at him. "Of course, I do."

Skinner gave a barely perceptible nod. He scanned the yard, then his eyes fell back on Alex. "You look as though you've adjusted well to civilized living."

Alex waited a number of seconds then, "But?"

"Is there a but?"

"Seems like you've got something more to say."

Skinner sat back in the chair and folded his hands in his lap. "I'm just wondering."

"About?"

"Is it really possible for a hired thug...a cold blooded killer, to completely turn his life around in the course of a couple of years?"

Alex dropped his gaze to the table and said nothing.

"I'm going to say this once, Krycek, then I'll never say it again..."

Alex looked up, noting the deadly serious tone of his voice.

"You ever pull anything dirty and I promise you, there won't be anyplace in the world that you can hide."

Just as Skinner finished his threat, the doorbell rang. Alex rose from his seat and left the patio without excusing himself. He went to the door and swung it open. Scully stood on the other side, with Frohike, Langly and Byers behind her.

"Hey!" She shoved the promised lasagna at him and strode in. The three men followed closely behind her.

"Hi, Scully." Alex nodded at the men behind her. "Guys." Then to the scrawny blonde. "Happy birthday, Langly."

"Yeah." Langly inched closer to Frohike, who eased closer to Scully. "Uh, thanks."

Byers surveyed the room. "Where's Mulder?"

"He's not here."

Scully raised one red eyebrow. "Not here?"

Alex explained the situation.

"Well, no wonder you don't look too happy," Scully said. "I believe I'd be a little ticked off, myself."

"I'm not mad. I'm a little worried..."

"Let's give him a little longer. Then I'll go looking for him."

"How about you tell *me* where to look, and you can stay and entertain Skinner."

"Is...he's here?"

Alex nodded.

Scully pointed in the direction of the patio. "Out there?"

Another nod.

"How long?"

"Twenty two minutes, fifteen and a quarter seconds."

"That had to be uncomfortable."

"Just a little."

"Okay well, fellas? Why don't you just mosey out to the patio? We'll be out there in a minute."

As soon as the trio was gone, Scully turned her attention to Alex. "You've been here alone with Skinner for almost half an hour? You have *got* to be furious with Mulder."

Alex turned toward the kitchen with Scully close on his heels. "He's doing his job, Scully."

"Come on, Alex. You know and I know, that it probably isn't anything that couldn't wait till Monday. Tomorrow, even. But he gets engrossed in something, and everything else fades into the background."

Alex remained silent, as he placed the lasagna in the oven to warm it.

"What did Skinner have to say?"

"Nothing."

"You sat in silence for over twenty minutes?"

"Not completely."

"It's that *not completely* that's got me worried. What'd he say?"

Alex shrugged. "He just made a couple of observations...gave me a little advice..."

"Advice...Alex, what did he say?"

"He's a good friend to Fox. I appreciate that."

Realizing that an attempt to get any more information out of Alex would be futile, Scully changed the subject.

"So...I've starved myself all day for this. What do you say we get some of this food out there?"

"Sure. We can't keep everyone waiting forever, can we?"

Scully laid a sympathetic hand on Alex's arm. "He's okay. I'm sure he'll be walking in, any minute."

*Any minute* turned into five, then fifteen, then twenty. Five of the people seated around the table made light conversation, while they ate. The sixth sat quietly, moving his food around on his plate, glancing from time to time, into the living room. Scully sympathized with Alex's mood, not to mention his discomfort, and repeatedly attempted in draw him into the conversation, but had limited success in pulling many responses from him.

The sound of the front door being opened a few moments later, drew everyone's attention. Mulder walked through the living room and out to the patio, looking very much like a little boy, in big trouble.

"Hi everybody. Sorry I wasn't home when you got here. Time really got away from me."

"Mulder, where the heck have you been?" Scully demanded, from her seat next to Alex.

"I think I've got some new information in this serial murder case, but we can talk about that, later." He reached out and slapped Langly on the back. "Happy birthday, Langly."

"Thanks, dude."

Mulder smiled at his friend, then nodded in Skinner's direction. "I'm glad to see you could make it."

Skinner nodded back. "Of course, I'll expect a report on my desk on Monday."

"Right." Mulder glanced over at Alex. He grimaced, noting the expression that his lover was trying hard to mask. He moved to Alex's side and cautiously squatted beside his chair. "I'm sorry Lexei," he began, oblivious to the look of disgust on Skinner's face, at hearing the endearment. "After I called you, I ran into the detective in charge of the case and we started talking and..."

"It's okay," Alex interrupted softly.

"I can't blame you for being upset."

"I'm not," the other man protested not so convincingly. "I was just worried about you."

Mulder placed a hand on Alex thigh and stroked lightly. "I'm sorry," he mouthed.

Alex gave him a slight nod and a weak smile.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"

Another nod.

As he rose, Mulder cupped the back of Alex's head and pressed his lips to his forehead. He then turned to the rest of the group, who were doing their best to ignore the little scene. "I'm gonna go grab a quick shower. I'll be back in a few."

Once he was gone, Scully attempted to fill the silence that had descended on the patio.

"I almost forgot, Alex. I talked to my mother this morning and she told me to remind you about your lunch date, next week."

For the first time so far that evening, Scully saw a tiny flash of happiness in Alex's eyes.

"I haven't forgotten."

After her initial disappointment in finding out that Mulder would never be her son-in-law, Margaret Scully met and took an immediate liking to Alex. With both of her sons so far away, she'd sort of informally adopted Mulder, and now Alex.

Alex was a bit apprehensive at first. He hadn't had a mother figure in his life for a good twenty years or so, but Margaret's easy-going manner and doting concern, won him over, quickly.

Margaret immediately saw past and worked her way around the young man's defenses. She reached inside, seeing into his heart as only Fox had been able to do, and she knew not the Alex Krycek that he'd presented to the world, but the real man. The one who wanted to be trusted and loved and who wanted so desperately to trust and love in return.

"Tell her I'll give her a call on Monday, okay?"

"Will do."

The other men listened to the conversation, dumbfounded. Alex glanced around, noting the looks on the four faces and quickly lowered his head.

"I'll um...I'll go check and see if that lasagna is warm enough, yet."

Alex slid his chair back and quietly entered the house.

Frohike was first to speak his mind.

"You let your mother have lunch alone with *him*?"

Scully jumped to Alex's defense. "And why not?"

"*Because*!"

"Good reason, Frohike. Look, Alex happens to be very close to my mother. She treats him like a son...just like she does, Mulder."

"Mulder, *yeah*...but him?"

"My mother happens to think that Alex is very sweet."

Skinner muttered from his seat at the far end of the table. "Yeah, sweet like a cobra."

"That's not true. You guys really need to cut him some slack, you know? He's had a rough few days. Can't you please just be nice?"

Langly spoke up. "So, what *is* up with Boris? I did notice that he doesn't really seem to be himself."

"Yeah," Byers concurred. "He hasn't tried to scare either of these guys, since we got here."

"*Alex* does that in fun, because he knows that Frohike and Langly are afraid of him. If they would just treat him like a regular person instead of some kind of evil, butcher knife wielding lunatic, they'd find him to be quite normal and very likeable."

Langly repeated his question. "So why's he so quiet?"

"I told you, he's had a rough few days. He'll be fine."

"Well, I just wanted to know...you know what they say about quiet people. What if he suddenly snaps? Mulder could come back out here and find us all drowning in our own blood."

"For God's sake, Langly. Don't you ever have times when you're not quite up to par?"

"Yeah..."

"So, why can't Alex? He's *fine*. Just be a little more sociable, would you? You *are* in his house.."

"Mulder's house."

"Mulder and *Alex's* house. I don't know what gives you guys the idea..."

"I'm back." Mulder spoke purposefully, making all aware that he knew what was being discussed. He looked around. "Where's Alex?"

Scully nodded in his direction. "He's checking on the lasagna."

Mulder nodded and pushed away from the doorframe. "Thanks, Scully." He spun in the other direction and headed off toward the kitchen.

Alex stood at the counter, staring down into the lasagna. His right hand closed loosely on the handle of the knife, tracing the perimeter of the pan. Through the thick veil of his lashes, he saw movement. Though the figure was blurred, he had no trouble recognizing it as his lover. Mulder's presence had a feel all its own and Alex knew it well. He stopped his repetitious action and began to cut into the lasagna. He looked up, giving Mulder the brightest smile he could manage.

"Smells good, huh?"

Mulder approached slowly, and stopped Alex's hand. With his hand firmly encircling the younger man's wrist, he removed the knife and placed it down on the counter.

Alex's eyes rose to meet Mulder's gold-splashed stare.

"If you're upset with me Alex, say so."

Alex's eyes fell away from his face. "I t...I told you that I wasn't. I was just really worried about you. You could have been in an accident or *shot* or..."

Mulder broke in. "Or insensitive, or unthinking, or..."

Alex shook his head.

"Who got here, first?"

Alex's voice dropped to near zero volume. "Skinner."

"How long was he here, before Scully arrived?"

"A little over twenty minutes."

"Bet it seemed like an eternity."

Alex shrugged.

"Look, Alex, I know Skinner, and I know he came here with no intentions to become your best buddy. I'm sure that spending twenty minutes with him wasn't the most fun you've ever had. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, alone. I should have been here."

"Fox, this case is important. If you can stop this nut before he kills again..."

"I could have had that stuff faxed to me. Or at the very least, gone out there, gathered the information, come home, and worked on it, here. *That's* where the case is. All that talking I did with investigators, will have no real bearing."

"You didn't know that until you talked to them."

"Still..."

Alex rubbed Mulder's forearm. "It's okay," he said, forcing the cheeriness into his voice. "I'm just happy you're home."

"You didn't look the least bit happy when I walked out onto the patio a little while ago."

Alex spun away from the older man, startling him. "What do you want from me, Fox? Do you want me yell at you and throw a tantrum? Would you feel better, then?"

Mulder's voice raised a bit. "Maybe I would, yeah! Then I'd know that you were alive!"

Alex paused for two beats, then turned around to face Mulder. He took a step forward and laid both hands on the other man's chest, stroking erratically, with one. "I'm sorry, Fox..."

Mulder rolled his eyes up and closed his lids over them. His jaw clenched and unclenched.

"I didn't mean to snap at you..."

"Alex..."

"Don't be mad at me..."

Mulder raised his hands to Alex's back and pulled him into a gentle embrace. "I'm not mad at you," he said, trying to reassure his panicked lover.

//How the hell did this get turned around? *I* should be worried about *him* being mad...//

Alex buried his face into the side of Mulder's neck and held on to him, tightly.

"It's okay Lexei," Mulder whispered into his hair. "I'm not mad, *really*. "It's okay." He held Alex for a while longer, then pushed him away, not quite as gently as he'd intended to. "Come on, now. Let's get back outside. They're going to be wondering what happened to us."

Mulder caught the wounded expression as Alex nodded and turned to cut the lasagna. He moved up behind him and draped an arm across his chest. He kissed the back of the younger man's neck.

"Hey."

"What?"

"Did I tell you how handsome you look tonight?"

Alex rubbed his head against Mulder's cheek, but gave no answer.

"Did you wear this for me?"

"I know you like black..."

"I like black when *you're* in it." He cupped Alex's cheek and turned him into a long, sweet kiss.

The knife clattered to the tiled counter and Alex turned to face his lover, their mouths never losing contact. Alex wrapped his arms around Mulder's neck and the older man deepened the kiss.

Alex's body screamed at him. To push it farther. To stop it. To drop to his knees and pull Fox's zipper down...

"Oh God, get a room, would you?"

Both men broke off the kiss simultaneously and looked toward the door. Scully leaned against the frame, grinning. "I just came out to make sure you weren't killing each other. I should have known better."

"Sorry Scully," Mulder looked back to Alex, drawing his fingertips down his cheek. "He's just so damn hard to resist."

Alex's eyes closed momentarily, then the heavy lashes lifted. "We uh...should get out there."

Mulder nodded, still holding his lover's eyes with his own.

Scully rolled her eyes and stepped forward. She picked the abandoned knife up and finished cutting the lasagna. "Okay, let's go." She picked up the pan and bustled out of the room.

Mulder took Alex by the hand and led him through the doors, after Scully.

"We were kinda finding it hard to believe that you got lost in your own house, Mulder."

"Yeah Frohike, okay..."

Scully set the pan down and started to serve. Alex took the seat he'd had, next to Scully's, and Mulder took the seat next to his, pulling the chair over until the arms touched. He interwove his fingers with Alex's and pulled the younger man's hand up to his mouth for a kiss. And another.

"This is a nice place, Mulder."

"Huh?"

The impatient baritone sounded again. "Very nice house. Very tastefully decorated."

"Thanks." Mulder's eyes left Alex's and came to rest on Skinner. They sparkled with pride. "Alex did a good portion of the work and he picked out all the furniture and whatnot."

Skinner pressed his lips together and fell silent.

//Wonderful. The Martha Stewart of the underworld...//

For the next half hour, the small group ate and talked, laughing at the occasional joke or comment. Even Skinner seemed in better humor, cracking the rare smile. Alex stayed close to Mulder, quiet, reserved, speaking only when spoken to, then retreating back into himself.

When it started to rain not long after they'd finished eating, everyone ran for cover. Scully insisted that Mulder stay in the living room with the others, while she helped Alex get everything put away in the kitchen.

"Everything okay?" she asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. With you and Mulder. Things sure *seemed* okay when I walked in on you earlier..."

"Everything's fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah." Alex began putting all the food away, while Scully stacked the dishwasher. She closed the door and turned the appliance on, then stood watching as Alex shoved the last of the leftovers into the refrigerator. She wasn't sure she believed him, but what could she do? It was pointless to push him. Nobody put up walls faster than Alex...except maybe Mulder. She made a mental note to time them one day and compare.

When they finished, Scully led the way back into the living room, where she took a seat between Byers and Langly on one of the two sofas. Skinner and Frohike sat diagonally from the facing sofas and across from each other, in single wingbacks. Alex sank to the floor, beside Mulder, who was seated on the other sofa. He leaned into the older man's leg, seeking the comfort of contact. Sensing Alex's need, Mulder combed a hand through his lover's hair. Listened to the soft purring sound that his action triggered and wished suddenly that they were alone.

"I feel like playing Monopoly," Scully blurted out, interrupting a conversation between Skinner and Byers. Skinner snapped his head around.

"Where'd *that* come from?"

Scully shrugged. "I just feel like playing Monopoly. Who's up for it?"

"Oooh! I haven't played that in years!" Frohike waggled his bushy eyebrows at Scully. Wanna play in teams, Scully? I'll be your partner..."

"I never was very good at it, but I'll be the banker," Byers volunteered. "Keep you all honest..."

Langly leaned forward. "Are you insinuating they we're cheaters?"

Byers pitched forward in his seat as well, meeting the other man's eyes. "Some of you are, *yes*."

Frohike jumped in. "Listen, narc..."

Mulder watched the argument, an amused smirk twitching at the corners of his mouth.

"Settle down fellas," Skinner mumbled. "I'm in. Mulder?"

Mulder shrugged, still petting the sable head by his leg. "I guess." He leaned close to Alex's ear. "Lexei?"

The younger man looked up at him. Damn, his eyes were that shade of green again, and his mouth...his mouth was only inches away...

"Okay."

"I'll get it." Scully popped out of her chair and moved off in the direction of the hall closet.

Mulder moved in closer, whispering softly. "Let's kick their asses and get em the hell out of here."

The close proximity of his lover's mouth, tempted Alex to tilt his head up for a kiss, but he quickly checked himself. As he backed off a fraction, Mulder's hand at the back of head, stopped him. He looked up into the other man's eyes, seeing something that couldn't exactly be classified as anger, but some emotion close to it. The hand pulled him back and Mulder's lips tenderly covered his, catching him by surprise.

Just as the younger man began to melt into the kiss, Mulder pulled away just long enough to tip his head from left to right and cover his lips once again.

His point. To the occupants of the room and the man he was kissing...Alex was his. And he had no intention of ignoring or hiding that fact. And the people in his life had better recognize and accept that.

Mulder finally broke the kiss, leaving Alex flushed and just a bit out of breath. He gave his lover another brief, chastising look and slid down to the floor beside him. The younger man pushed over until their legs touched, then rested his head on Mulder's shoulder.

Seemingly satisfied, Mulder laid his hand against Alex's face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. He scattered a number of kisses in the dark hair.

Scully returned with the game, startling the other men out of their fascinated observance of the scene. She placed the box down on the coffee table and began to set up the board. "Okay you losers," she sang, "prepare to get beaten like you've never been beaten before."

Byers picked up the money and began distributing the proper amount to each team. "You're pretty confident."

"Melissa and I used to beat the pants off of my brothers when we were kids."

Mulder smirked at her. "Yeah well, that was a long time ago and *we're* not you brothers."

"You're *still* gonna lose."

"Okay. We might have showed you some mercy, but since you want to be arrogant about it..."

Half an hour into the game, an argument broke out between Frohike and Langly.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going? You can't get out of jail, *yet*."

"Sure I can. This is my third try. On your third try, you can pay your money and get out."

"This is only your *second*."

"It is not! If you'd pay attention to the game and stop trying to smell Scully's hair, you'd *know* that."

Mulder covered his eyes and laid his head back against the seat cushion of the sofa. "I need a drink."

Alex rubbed the older man's thigh. "I'll get you something. What do you want?"

Mulder opened his eyes and squinted up at Alex. "Uh...vodka and orange?"

Alex nodded and hoisted himself to his feet. "Anybody want anything to drink?" After he memorized all the requests, he disappeared into the kitchen and came back sometime later, with a large tray full of various drinks and a big bowl of Doritos. As he was setting the bowl down, he noticed Mulder, rolling his head back and forth, across his shoulders. Alex set the emptied tray aside and sat on the sofa, directly behind his lover. He swung one long leg over Mulder's head so that the older man now sat between his legs.

Mulder's eyes dropped shut and a long sigh escaped his lips, as he felt Alex's warm hands begin to rub and caress his shoulders and upper back, making the occasional foray up the back of his neck, to ruffle the golden-brown hair and massage his scalp.

As the game resumed, Alex worked slowly and silently, loosening his lover's knotted muscles. When he felt Mulder completely relax, he ceased his ministrations and leaned in to murmur in his ear.

"Better?"

Mulder tipped his head back to meet his lover's eye. "Better."

Just as their lips touched, that irritated baritone interrupted.

"Come on Mulder, it's you turn."

Mulder took the time to plant another brief kiss on Alex's mouth, before turning his attention back to the game. When he had finished moving their piece around the board, Alex wrapped his arms loosely around his chest and shoulders and rubbed his face against the lightly stubbled one to his right.

Mulder reached up, raking his fingers through his lover's hair, again and again. He smiled as he felt Alex's lips, soft and moist against his cheek, skimming the line of his jaw...teasing his ear. The urge to throw Alex onto his back and do him right there on the sofa was strong, but Mulder kept his guests in mind and managed to suppress his desire.

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