Two cars sat unoccupied off the side of a lonely road while three figures picked their way up toward the house indicated in the directions that Alex was given. The structure came into sight, and Alex moved full speed ahead until Skinner's voice brought him to a halt.

"What the hell are you doing? Are you just gonna go through the front door?"

Alex's brows drew down into a deeper frown than the one that had already carved itself into his forehead. He stared at Skinner for all of three seconds, then very matter-of-factly said, "Yeah."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Look, Skinner." Alex walked back, stopping when he was face to face with the other man. "I didn't want you here. I didn't want *either* of you here, but *especially* not you. I don't have time now to screw around with you, so keep that shiny head down, keep Scully covered, and stay the fuck out of my way." He walked away, leaving the other two stunned.

"This is the guy who just a few hours ago was numb with grief?" Skinner rumbled softly to the woman beside him.

Scully nodded as they moved forward, following Alex. "The people responsible for Mulder's death are allegedly in that house. His grief has turned to fury, and I'm afraid we're going to have a real mess on our hands if we don't find them before he does...not that I don't want to kill that smoking bastard myself..."

Skinner said nothing in response as they approached the house. A muffled shot and thud startled them as Alex dropped a guard that they hadn't even seen up on a secondary roof of the house.

"You sure you don't want to go while the getting is good?" he asked, kicking at the man to insure that he was indeed dead. Receiving no answer, he turned and glared at the pair. "He was getting ready to put a bullet right between your eyes, Wally, and you didn't even know it."

Skinner took a deep breath. "We'll be more alert," he offered, double checking his second weapon and cuffs.

Alex watched him, an incredulous expression on his face. "You're not going to need any cuffs."

"No?"

"No."

"Why not?"

The younger man's voice was flat and emotionless, but his eyes glittered with deadly intention. "Nobody's walking out of here."

"I can't let you kill everybody here, Krycek."

"You want to stop me?" Alex asked softly. "Shoot me. But you'd better make sure I don't get up."

No more was said as Alex located and disabled the security system, and the three slipped into the house. They checked room after empty room, and just as Scully was about to suggest that they'd been had, two men dropped out of seemingly nowhere, taking them by surprise. One man grabbed her from behind, and the other easily snatched the gun out of her hand.

"Drop your weapons," the armed man instructed.

Alex and Skinner stood their ground, guns pointed at the two guards.

"Do it, or my friend'll snap her pretty neck."

"You're wrinkling the lady's blouse. Let her go," Alex said softly, "and I might consider killing you both quickly."

The man smiled. "You *must* be Alex Krycek. Nobody else would be so arrogant in a situation like this."

"Oh, you've heard of me?"

"We know all about you."

"Good. Then you know there's no way you're going to get out of this alive."

Before the man could draw another breath, the one holding Scully had dropped to the floor, a bullet between his eyes. All he had time for was a look of horror, and he was joining the first man, the blood quickly gushing from his throat.

Paying no more attention to the two, Alex stepped toward Scully, who stared dazedly down at the dead men.

"Are you all right?"

She nodded in silence.

"That was a hell of a chance you took, Krycek."

Alex looked over at Skinner with an expression that said he'd almost forgotten the other man was there. "You don't get it, Wally. These assholes aren't looking to bring us in alive. He *would* have killed Scully whether we surrendered or not."

Without another word, he spun and stalked off in the other direction, eyes continuously scanning for more traps and guards.

********************

As the fifth man fell, word had reached the smoking man that Alex Krycek was in the house, and he wasn't taking any prisoners.

"Idiots!" he hissed at the frightened man who had come in to tell him. "We spent time and money training you people. Why is it none of you can contain this man?"

Even as he asked the question, he knew the answer. Aside from Krycek's innate abilities, he was now also a man with nothing to lose. Taking Fox Mulder from him had made him ten times more dangerous. But the smoker had hoped that these new men...these people he'd spent so much money training would prove to be a deterrent against their prototype. No such luck. Now, he must make a decision and make it quickly.

Abandon Lieber and their project to save his own skin, or take the time to try and make it to the lab to get the man and the evidence before death found either of them.

One last long drag on his cigarette and the decision was made.

Better to live to fight another day.

********************

Alex had split off from Scully and Skinner, giving them one more warning to watch their asses, and he went in search of his targets.

Along his way, four more men fell, and when he reached the wide corridor to a wing of the house that most likely housed the lab, he met up with the most resistance he had encountered thus far.

Three determined men burst through the door in front of him and opened fire. Alex dove behind a celadon-colored divan, returning their barrage.

Having no place to hide, the men dropped quickly, one by one. When all was quiet and the cream carpet was stained a deep crimson, Alex stood and walked toward the bodies, searching each for weapons and a key to the door which would certainly be locked.

As he had finished searching one body, a soft moan caught his ear. He turned, narrowing his eyes on the other two bodies. Both appeared motionless, but further inspection revealed that one was still breathing, though just barely. He moved over to that man, staring down at him.

Dark eyelashes fluttered and a hollow blue stare attempted to focus on the face that floated above. The coppery taste of blood filled the man's mouth as it began to move, spilling its warm contents.

"Alex, move."

Alex looked up from the dying man into Scully's face. "He's dead."

"Not yet, he isn't; now move and let me see what I can do..."

Alex stared up at her, cocking his head to one side. He looked back down at the man, placed his gun to his forehead, and before Scully could voice her objection, pulled the trigger. He looked back up into her stunned face.

"I told you, he's dead." He searched the body and, producing a key, rose to his feet and moved to the door. "Where's Skinner?"

"Right...God." Skinner moved into the hall, scowling down at the bloody scene. "What the hell..."

Scully simply shook her head as Alex tried the lock and opened the door.

"What does this lead to?"

"The lab," Alex threw back at Scully as he strode into the outer room, turning over furniture and everything else that wasn't nailed down, seeking out his quarry. Turning up nothing, he tried the only other door in the room. Finding it locked, he tried the key, but the wooden structure would not yield. He backed up a few steps and kicked the door open, splintering it in its frame. His eyes scanned the room, seeing nothing but equipment, but someone was here. He could smell the fear.

Taking another moment to scan the room, he focused on a locker-style cabinet and stalked toward it as Scully and Skinner searched the rest of the room. He swung the door open and hauled the terrified doctor out, throwing him into the middle of the room.

"Please," the man practically screamed, hands shaking as he held them out in front of him. "Please don't kill me."

"Alex," Scully said softly to the man who held his gun trained on the doctor's head. "Alex, don't. Let's take him in. This man has a lot to answer for from what I see here. Maybe he can lead us to the rest..."

"I...I can't," the man whimpered. "I don't know anything outside of what happens here in the lab..."

"You might as well roll over," Alex spat at the man. "If you think your benefactor is going to get you out of this somehow, you're sadly mistaken. I know him. He's got a yellow streak a mile long. He's *gone*. Left you to take the all the heat."

"He...he wouldn't," the doctor said, anger tingeing his voice. "I'm too important. My *work* is too important."

Alex laughed bitterly. "Not if it means *his* ass. I know all that he's sacrificed to keep your sick experiments going. Money...property...his own people..." Alex cocked his weapon. "My Fox..."

"Krycek..." Skinner took a step forward. "Krycek, secure your weapon. This isn't going to help..."

"Maybe not," Alex said flatly, steadying his aim. "But it won't hurt."

Two men burst into the room, and everyone took cover in the hail of bullets. In the few seconds it took to put them down, Lieber had made his way to a desk and reached into the top drawer. Skinner saw him pull a gun out, aiming it at Alex, and the A.D. fired, pumping two rounds into the man's chest.

Alex and Scully spun around just in time to see the doctor slump over the desk, blood staining the white blotter under him. They looked from the gun in his hand over to Skinner.

"He was aiming right at you," he said to Alex, shock registering in his tone, then looked to Scully. "I had no choice."

An expression crossed Alex's face, so completely peculiar and altogether frightening it made Scully shudder. She waited for him to say something, but not a word passed from his lips.

Skinner said something in Scully's ear, and she turned back toward the silent man. "Alex." She drew nearer, touching his arm. "Let Skinner clean this up. The doctor is dead, and you said it yourself; Cancerman is probably miles away from here by now. We've gone through every room in the house...there's no one else. Why don't you let me take you home now?"

The savage glint had gone from his eyes, leaving only wretched sorrow and weariness. "I...I just want to sit for a while." Securing his gun, he rested it on the desktop and lowered himself to the oak surface, staring down at the floor.

"Okay. Okay, you rest a minute, then we'll go."

"Alone, Scully." Alex looked up at the woman who stood mere inches from him. "Please? I just need a minute to myself. Go wait outside. I...I'll be there soon."

Red eyebrows drew down into a distinct frown. "Alex..."

"Please." The word came out in a whisper so soft she almost didn't hear it.

"All right. But if you're not out in ten minutes, I'm coming back in to get you, do you understand?"

Alex nodded and looked up at the man watching from the doorway. No words were spoken between them, but somewhere in the look they exchanged, an understanding...a truce of sorts seeped through.

Scully passed between Skinner and the shattered door, and the A.D. followed, leaving Alex sitting amid the litter of bodies. He looked at the two on the floor and the one behind him still slumped over the desk and released the safety on his gun.

********************

"We shouldn't have left him alone," Scully lamented as she walked beside Skinner out the front door. "He looks so despondent. I think I'm going to go back."

"He only asked for a few minutes, Scully, what do you think he's going to do? It's not like there's anyone left to kill."

Scully stopped dead in her tracks, staring wide-eyed at her superior. "God...yes there is."

********************

Alex lifted the gun, staring at the black metal.

For years, his only friend. All he could depend on...many times, all that stood between him and certain death.

And now, it would perform one last service for him.

His mouth curved into an ironic little smile.

//How the hell else did you expect it to end? You didn't really think you'd get go grow old with him, did you? You had to know that something would happen sooner or later to fuck it all up.//

A tear formed and spilled from one eye.

//But not this. God, why this? He didn't deserve it. The world needed him. I needed him.//

He turned the weapon, now staring down the length of the barrel.

//I'm sorry, baby. I can't stay. I think you know I can't. Wait for me. I'll be there soon.//

His head turned, and he tuned in to the brief, faint sound coming from someplace not so far away.

He listened intently but did not hear the soft clink again. Still, his hearing was too finely tuned to dismiss the sound as nothing.

He rose from the table, weapon poised, and began looking around.

There it was again.

His eyes narrowed on the very cabinet he'd pulled Lieber from. Striding over to it, he looked inside, quickly finding a latch. He opened the back panel and found himself looking at a narrow door.

//Shit. Cancerman?//

//No, you couldn't be that lucky.//

But somebody was making noise in there.

Gingerly, he opened the door and found himself in another corridor. The clinking sounded again, and this time he knew he was on the right track. He stole quietly down the dimly lit hall and stopped in front of the first of three doors. Quickly, he kicked it open and ventured inside, gun first.

Nothing. A tiny, completely empty, windowless room.

The second room revealed little more. A chair, a toilet, and a bed frame, and that was all.

By process of elimination, the third room must be the one where the survivor or survivors were hiding.

He stood listening for a moment, then kicked the door in, gun at the ready. What he found nearly made his knees buckle.

This room, small and windowless like the first two, also contained a chair and toilet, but there was an entire bed in this one, and chained by the wrists to one post, curled against the headboard, there was a man. Clad in blue hospital scrubs, days worth of stubble covering his face...amber-flecked eyes wide with fright...

Alex stumbled to the bed, letting his gun fall to the mattress. He leaned over the shivering man, trembling hand tenderly petting the limp, golden-brown hair.

"Fox..." The vision before him blurred as tears glazed his eyes. "Oh, God, Fox. My baby..."

Fox flinched away from the touch, whimpering softly, and panic seized Alex.

"Fox, look at me. Come on, baby. It's Alex. Please, look at me." His pleas brought no response, and the panic deepened. "What the hell did they do to you?"

"Alex!"

The faint sound of Scully's voice snapped his head around. "Scully! God...I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry," he apologized as Fox wedged himself closer to the headboard. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'll be right back." He took the time to remove his jacket and drape it over the shivering man before bolting out into the little hall.

"Alex, where are you?"

"I'm here! There's a secret doorway in the cabinet I took Lieber from."

"*What*?" Scully appeared in the doorway, looking around in shock. "Alex, what the..."

"Scully, come on! I need you!"

Scully watched as Alex disappeared into a room, and she followed quickly, her mouth almost hitting the floor as she entered.

"Oh, my *God*. Mulder..." She rushed over to the man on the bed, dropping down beside him. "Mulder?"

"They did something to him," Alex rasped as he worked at picking the locks on the cuffs. "He's scared to death. He won't talk. It's like he doesn't recognize me."

"Mulder?" Scully gently turned Fox's face toward hers. "Mulder, can you hear me?"

Alex freed Fox's hands, and he pulled the jacket around himself, not allowing either of them to touch him.

"Fox," Alex called softly, wiping away his tears as they fell. "Sweetheart, it's us. It's Alex and Scully. Don't you know us?" He looked up from the unresponsive man's face to Scully. "We gotta get him out of here."

Scully nodded. "Go find Skinner. Let me see if I can do a cursory exam."

"All right. I'll be back, Fox. Please let Scully look at you." He caressed the older man's hair. "Okay?"

As Alex ran from the room, Scully tried to gently pry his jacket away from Fox. "Come on, Mulder, let me have a look at you."

Fox tightened his hold on the jacket, refusing to let her take it from him.

"Mulder," she called softly, holding back the flood of tears that threatened to spill over. "Mulder, please. I'd never hurt you. I need to see if you're injured anywhere. Please..." Seconds later, she managed to wrestle the leather away and ran her hands over the squirming man. Noticing he was especially protective of his arms, she coaxed him to let her have a look. She closed her eyes, cursing softly. "Oh, God, Mulder..."

********************

"Skinner!"

"I've been looking all over for you!" Skinner bellowed as Alex came into view. "Where's Scully?"

"Call for an ambulance."

"What? Why? Did something happen to her?"

"No," Alex called over his shoulder as he turned back in the direction that he came. "It's not for her."

"Then, who?"

Alex broke into a sprint. "Fox!"

********************

"Alex, they've been injecting him with something. He's got needle marks in both his arms. That's probably what's induced this psychosis, whatever it is."

Alex approached the bed carefully, afraid to frighten Fox again. "God, I wish there was somebody left to kill," he said softly, sitting on the edge of the mattress.

"You *did* say Fox!"

Alex and Scully each held up a hand as the A.D. stormed in the direction of the bed.

"Easy," Scully murmured. "He's frightened enough."

"Of us? What the hell's going on? Mulder..."

"He doesn't recognize us," Alex said, his palm whispering over the back of Fox's hand. "They did something to him."

Skinner approached cautiously, standing before the two men. "Mulder?"

No reaction.

"God, it's good to see you. We thought you were dead."

Fox clutched the jacket to himself, saying nothing.

Skinner winced, taking in the image before him.

Mulder, rumpled and unshaven...Christ, but alive...terrified of God only knew what, and Krycek, ecstatic that his lover was still alive but worried to death about his condition...stroking him tenderly and crooning soft words of comfort to him. Skinner closed his eyes and dropped his head, for the moment unable to face this thing that was quite likely his doing.

"Is the ambulance on its way?"

Scully's words startled him, and he turned in her direction. "Yeah. They said fifteen minutes."

What seemed to Alex like an eternity later, the ambulance arrived.

Fox fought the E.M.T.s, not wanting to be touched or moved, but finally, under Alex's strict supervision, they got him out of the room and into the ambulance. Almost ready to depart, the men each grabbed an arm and tried to restrain him. He struggled against their attempts and, for the first time since Alex had found him, uttered an intelligible word.

"No....n-*no*..."

"Stop it," Alex pushed their hands away. "Leave him alone. You're upsetting him."

"Mister, *everybody* we gotta restrain is unhappy about it. You saw the hard time we had just getting from the house to here."

Again the man reached for Fox's arm and immediately found the muzzle of a gun in his face. "I said," Alex warned softly, "no restraints."

The man drew back, never taking his eyes off of the gun. "L-look, I know you law enforcement types look out for your own, but..."

//Law enforcement?//

Alex shrugged and went with it. "He'll be fine. No restraints."

"Okay. Okay."

The object of the exchange watched quietly, his eyes coming to rest curiously on the tall, green-eyed man who seemed to have taken on the role of his protector.

Alex put his gun away and settled himself by Fox's stretcher. His eyes met those which continued to stare up at him.

"It's okay," he reassured Fox, lightly covering the older man's hand with his own. "They're not going to tie you down. I promise."

The ride to the hospital was a relatively uneventful one, and when they reached the hospital, Alex escorted Fox as far as the emergency examining room, but the doctor insisted that he wait outside while Fox was checked out. While he paced up and down, Scully walked in.

"Where is he?"

"In there," Alex indicated to Scully with a toss of his head. "They won't let me be with him..."

"Hospital rules, Alex..."

Before Scully could finish, a ruckus arose from inside the examining room.

Not giving a damn about protocol, Alex burst into the room, closely followed by Scully, to find two male nurses trying to hold Fox down while the doctor attempted to draw some blood.

"Wait...*wait*!" Alex yelled, pushing his way to the bed. "Let him go!"

"Sir, you can't be in here!"

"Listen to him!" Scully told the doctor as she moved toward him. "The needle is frightening him."

"Who are *you*?"

"I'm his doctor. He's been injected with something...a number of times, and it appears to have done something to his mind. He doesn't seem to know anyone, and he's frightened to death of being restrained and of needles. Now, please." Scully motioned to Alex. "Let him see if he calm him."

The nurses backed away at the doctor's instruction, and Alex took a seat at the edge of the bed. "Fox." He laid a soothing hand on the agitated man's shoulder. "Fox, look at me."

Wild, gilded eyes stared up at him. "No needle."

Alex shook his head, gently pushing the hair away from Fox's forehead. "No, Fox. Listen to me. They're not going to inject you with anything, I *promise*. They just want to take a little blood so they can figure out what those men put in you."

Fox eyed him doubtfully.

"Trust me. I didn't let them restrain you in the ambulance, right? I swear, nobody's gonna hurt you. I won't let them."

Fox looked from Alex to the doctor and Scully, who stood waiting at a distance. His gaze came back to Alex then dropped to his own hands resting in his lap. "Okay."

A smile of relief curled Alex's lips. "Thank you. As soon as we figure out what they did to you, we'll know how to treat you."

The doctor stood silently for a moment then, determining that the patient was calm, he cleared his throat.

"All right, sir, thank you. His doctor may stay, of course, but you're going to have to wait outside."

Alex shot the man a withering glare, then turned back to Fox, the hostility gone in an instant. "I'll be right outside, but Scully'll be here. She won't let them hurt you."

A look crossed Fox's face that gave Alex the impression that he wanted to say something, but he remained silent. The younger man gave him another reassuring smile and squeeze of his hand and vacated the room, leaving him with the woman who had just claimed to be his physician. She approached the bed as the doctor prepared to take his blood.

"How're you feeling?"

Fox shrugged.

"Come on," Scully coaxed good-naturedly. "I know you can talk. I heard you."

He winced as the needle slid into his vein. "What's happening? Why do you seem to know me but I don't know you?"

"Because, Mulder...the people who've had you the last few days...they did something to you. Something to erase your memory. Or at least suppress it. We'll know better when we're able to do some tests."

Fox looked down at his hands for a moment, then back up at the pretty red-head. "Why do you call me Mulder and he calls me Fox?"

"Mulder is your last name. Fox is your first. You're not really overly fond of Fox. Only Alex and your mother are allowed to use it."

A slight frown creased his brow. "Then, is he my brother?"

//Oh, boy.//

"Mulder, let's save all the questions for later, okay? Let's just get you all checked out and up to a room, then maybe we can talk."

He fell silent, letting the staff poke and prod for a while, then spoke again. "That bald man said you all thought I was dead..."

Scully smiled to herself but allowed the amusing observation to pass.

"Come on, Mulder, we're almost done here. Then you can ask all the questions you want."

Twenty minutes later, Scully came out to get Alex who had remained right outside the doors, wearing a hole in the tiles.

"Well?"

"He checks out okay. A little dehydrated, but that's all."

"That's *all*? He doesn't know us!"

"Well, yeah, there's that."

Alex growled down at her. "What's *wrong* with him?"

"We won't know until the tests come back. I've come to tell you they're taking him up to a room. You go with him; I'm going to join the doctor in the lab."

Alex spun toward the examining room, but before he could make it to the doors, Scully stopped him.

"He's asking questions, Alex. He seems rational enough to take the truth, but tread lightly." She smiled at the anxious man. "I didn't have to tell you that."

He returned her smile and entered the examining room, finding the orderly preparing to take Fox up to his room.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Fox said softly. "Confused."

"I know," Alex replied, stroking the other man's hair. "We're going to see what we can do to fix that."

They took the back elevator up to the third floor ward, and, as soon as Fox was settled in his private room, he began asking questions.

"I want to know who I am."

Alex pulled up a chair and sat close to his lover's bedside. "You're Fox Mulder. You're an agent with the FBI."

Fox sat quietly, waiting for more.

"You live in Alexandria. Not too far from here. Uh...Scully...she's your partner. Has been for six years. The other man you saw is Skinner. He's your boss..."

Fox watched the other man carefully, noting that he avoided introducing himself.

"You work within a special unit...hell, you *are* the special unit..."

"Who are you?"

Alex stopped, almost choking on the words he bit off. "I...I'm Alex."

"I know your name. I've heard Scully use it. But who are you to me?"

"There you are."

Both men turned their attention to the door where the hulking form of A.D. Skinner loomed. He stepped into the room and spoke to Alex before turning his attention on the man in the bed.

"Everything is secured at the house."

Alex nodded.

"So, Mulder," he began, never letting his eyes rest for long on the man in the bed, "I heard your voice as I was walking toward the room. I guess you're feeling better."

"I'm all right," Mulder answered warily, sizing up the new presence. "You're my boss?"

Skinner shot Alex a curious look.

"He still doesn't remember anything."

A look of regret crossed the older man's face, and he stepped forward. "Yeah. I'm your boss."

Fox nodded. "You thought I was dead?"

"Yeah."

"For how long?"

"A few days."

Fox watched out of the corner of his eye as the man called Alex closed his eyes and lowered his head. His attention came back to Skinner, and he shrugged. "Gonna make me make up the work?"

The smile that lit the other man's face should have surprised and delighted him. Instead, he just watched in mild fascination. "Is that funny?"

Skinner couldn't wipe the smile away. "It's just so like you. It was good to hear."

"Oh." Fox looked to the other man who still had his head down. He hesitated, unsure of whether or not to ask, then the words just spilled forth. "Are you all right?" He could see a smile form, and Alex looked up at him.

"I'm fine."

He wanted to ask Alex if he was so fine, then what was with the bright glaze over his eyes, but decided against it. This was already too much to take in, and they'd hardly told him a thing.

Alex watched Fox lift a hand to his forehead, and he pitched forward in his seat, placing a hand on the bed. "Fox?"

The older man removed his hand and opened his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Fox shook his head. "Really tired, all of a sudden. My head is starting to hurt."

Alex rose from the chair and came to sit at his lover's bedside. "Close your eyes, then. I want you to go to sleep."

"I want to talk," Fox protested. "I hate this feeling of not knowing..."

"I know," Alex soothed, "but there's all the time in the world for questions. Right now, you need rest."

Fox looked apprehensively around the room then back into damp, green eyes.

"What is it?"

"When I woke up there, I was always sick and cold."

Alex frowned and sighed softly. "Did you sleep after they injected you?"

Silent nod.

"You were more than likely feeling the effects of whatever they put in you. Nobody's going to do that to you here."

Fox studied the man, chewing nervously on his lower lip.

"Trust me, Fox. Nobody's going to do anything that'll hurt you. They'd have to come through me first."

"And that's harder than trying to get through six heavily-armed guards."

Fox glanced over at the other man, almost forgetting until hearing his voice that he was still in the room. The statement made him even more curious, but for some reason, he believed it.

"Come on, close your eyes."

Fox looked back to Alex then slowly let his eyelids fall. Minutes later, he was asleep.

Alex sat quietly, unwilling to take his eyes off the miracle that lay sleeping not more than two feet away. He reached out, letting his fingers whisper over the golden-brown strands of his Fox's hair.

"Tell me I'm not going to wake up and find out that I've been dreaming."

Skinner moved closer. "I was just thinking that same thing."

"A few hours ago," Alex whispered softly, afraid of  waking the exhausted man, "my life was over. It was all done. And now, here it is." A few tears escaped his eyelids. "And he doesn't know me."

"He will," Skinner reassured him. "As soon as Scully figures out what they gave him, she'll know what to do to bring him back."

Alex turned his head to face the other man. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful. Jesus, I can never be thankful enough. But what if he never remembers?"

"Then he'll just have to get to know you all over again."

"And what if he doesn't fall in love with me the second time around?" He gave Skinner a pained grin. "Maybe you'll get lucky after all."

Skinner shook his head. "Not a chance. It's just his memory that's been erased. His personality seems intact. He's the same man, Krycek. The same man who loves you deeply." Sad eyes fell to the motionless form. "He'll always be yours."

Alex stared for long seconds, amazed that he and Walter Skinner would ever be sitting together in the same room, let alone discussing his love life. His gaze slipped away and returned to the sleeping man. "We've got to call his mother."

"Oh, damn. With all the excitement, I forgot about her." Skinner pulled out his cell phone and dialed Fox's number. The phone rang three times, and a tired woman's voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Mulder, it's Walter Skinner."

"Mr. Skinner, what is going on? We've been worried to death about you since you left."

"The Gunmen are still there?"

"Yes. They didn't want to leave me alone."

"Please thank them for me, and accept my apologies. We've been very busy..."

"Doing what? Did you find Alex? Is he all right?"

"He's fine, ma'am. Mrs. Mulder, I need to tell you...it's going to be quite a shock, but...are you sitting?"

"Yes. Mr. Skinner, you're starting to worry me."

"No. Please don't be. It's wonderful news...I'm at a hospital not all that far from you."

"A *hospital*?"

"Yes...with your son."

"My...."

"Mrs. Mulder? Mrs...."

"Skinner?"

"Yeah. Who's this?"

"Frohike. What the hell is going on? Mrs. Mulder is pale as a ghost."

"Is she all right?"

"She looks like she's in shock. What'd you tell her?"

"Mulder is alive."

"*What*?"

"It's a long story, but we've got him in the hospital. Do me a favor and get Mrs. Mulder here, okay?" Skinner gave directions to Frohike then disconnected. "They're on their way. The poor woman is in a state of shock."

"She'll be better once she sees him," Alex answered, watching the steady rise and fall of Fox's chest. Although the movement soothed and reassured him, he still felt the need to touch his lover's hair...his arm. Just for contact. Just to prove to himself that this was not a dream. His eyes closed as his fingertips fluttered over Fox's forearm, recognizing instantly the texture of his skin. "He *feels* real..."

A gentle hand on his shoulder lingered only until he turned and looked up into Skinner's face.

"I'm dying for some coffee. You want anything?"

Alex shook his head and returned his gaze to his slumbering love.

"You should have *something*, Krycek. Scully's worried that you haven't eaten in days. I know you don't want to get sick *now*. Mulder's going to need you, and you can't help him if you're not firing on all eight cylinders."

Alex release a conciliatory sigh. "Okay. Just get me whatever."

Skinner nodded and exited, leaving Alex time to run through the horrid, shattering events of the last few days. He shuddered as he saw himself bursting into the trailer in Vermont and Scully delivering the news that the only thing that had ever meant anything to him was gone. He recalled the blackness that had enveloped him and the consuming desire to sink deeper into that dark world, never to return. He would have done just that only a few hours ago if Fox struggling against his chains hadn't attracted his attention.

Now, here they were. And even with Fox lying here in front of him, alive and for the most part well, the happy ending was in peril.

Alex leaned forward, resting his head next to the unconscious man's. He watched the occasional flutter of the golden-brown eyelashes and relaxed pout of the absurdly beautiful lips, and he ached. He ached with the joy of feeling his love so near and with the agony of knowing that this was as close as he might ever get again.

********************

Scully entered the hospital room to find two men asleep and one watching them, almost hypnotized by the sight.

"How long has he been out?"

Skinner blinked, shaking himself out of his trance. "I came back in with something for him to eat, and he was asleep. That was..." he looked at his watch. "A little over two hours ago."

"God, he's exhausted. I don't know if we should wake him or not."

"I think he'll be pretty ticked off to find out that you came in with some news and *didn't* wake him right away."

"Yeah, I suppose. Besides," she said, tilting her head to one side. "if he stays in that position much longer, he's going to be pretty sore."

"I've slept in much stranger positions."

Two sets of eyes turned toward the bed where Alex was sitting up and stretching.

"What have you found?"

"Obviously a creation of the good doctor Lieber..."

"Oh, my God."

Scully cut off her explanation, and all three looked in the direction of the door. There, Tina Mulder stood, ashen and shaking, eyes trained on the sleeping man.

"Fox..."

Skinner was at her side in an instant, taking her slowly toward the bed. "He's all right, Mrs. Mulder. But he's very, very tired. We're trying not to wake him."

The woman came to stand at the edge of the bed, taking Alex's hand and staring down into the pale face of her son. "What happened? Where was he?"

Alex gave her the short version of events, conveniently leaving out the gorier details, and by the time he was through, Mrs. Mulder had to be lowered into a chair, where she sat and wept softly.

"Thank God. Thank you, God, for bringing him back." She turned watery eyes up to Alex. "And thank you. If it wasn't for you going to that house, he might never have been found."

Alex lowered his eyes, quiet for a moment, then looked up at Scully. "You were starting to tell us about what you discovered."

"Yeah. Mrs. Mulder, I was just starting to tell them that Mulder has been injected with a combination of drugs to induce memory loss. We've been able to identify all but one component. I'm going back to the lab to see if I can't come up with some clues."

"What's the importance of identifying this component?"

Scully turned to Skinner. "We can't proceed safely with treatment without it."

"So, his memory will never return if you don't identify that last drug?"

Skinner risked a quick glance at Alex. The younger man sat, listening stoically for his answer as his hand rested over Fox's.

"I...I don't know, Alex," Scully answered honestly. "You know I'll do everything I can."

Skinner's regard moved from Alex to Tina Mulder. "Are Frohike and the others here?"

"Yes. They're in the waiting room."

"Scully, why don't you take them with you? Maybe they can be of some help."

Scully nodded and walked over to the older woman, squeezing her hand. "We'll figure this out, Mrs. Mulder."

The woman smiled through a haze of tears. "I know you will."

Scully took a few steps forward until she was standing directly in front of the bed. "Don't worry," she whispered to Alex and dropped a light kiss on his cheek, then did the same to Fox. She straightened up, addressing the whole group. "I'll be in touch."

When she was gone, Tina Mulder rose from her chair and made her way back over to the bed. "He'll be fine," she reassured Alex, petting the sable hair.

"We've had one miracle," he whispered to her. "What right have we got to expect another?"

"I don't know, dear. But it never hurts to hope."

********************

"Oh, you have *got* to be kidding me."

"Are you sure we're at the right house?"

"Positive." Scully banged her hands on the steering wheel. "Sonofabitch!"

She jumped out of the car with the three men in close pursuit and found the nearest policeman. Shoving her badge in his face, she identified herself and asked what the hell was going on.

"I don't know," the officer shouted above the wail of a siren. "It just...it *blew*."

"When?"

"Not more than half an hour ago. We've got four men unaccounted for."

Someone shouted the officer's name, and he excused himself, running toward the sound.

"I can't believe this," Scully mumbled staring at the wreckage of the house she'd been in not more than a few hours ago. "There goes our best hope of identifying that last drug."

********************

Wary, hazel eyes watched the woman as she sat at the edge of the bed, staring down at her hands. She looked up and was startled to find Fox awake and looking at her.

"Oh, my goodness, Fox."

"Are you my mother?"

She smiled even as tears stung her eyes. "Yes, sweetheart. You really don't know me at all?"

Fox shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"No." The woman covered his hand with her own. "Don't you be sorry. I've heard enough apologies from you to last the rest of my life."

Her son stared at her curiously.

"Never mind, honey. It isn't your fault you don't remember. But your partner is out trying to find the answer to making you better."

Fox's attention drifted from the glassy blue eyes that looked so lovingly on him, scanning the room, then coming to rest on the man who was asleep in the chair nearby.

"He hasn't left here, you know. And I really don't think anyone can make him. But he needs rest, and he needs to eat. Maybe if you told him, he'd do it. He loves you so much."

Golden-brown eyebrows drew down into a frown. "Loves me?" He looked up at her. "Please tell me."

"Tell you what, dear?"

"I asked him, but then that other man...Skinner came in. Then Scully came in..."

"What did you ask him?"

"What is he to me?"

Tina Mulder cocked her head. "I thought you would have been told by now, I'm sorry. I...I think I should leave that conversation for the two of you."

"No. No, please," Fox whispered, taking care not to wake the other man. "I don't want to wait anymore. Please tell me."

The woman could not resist the pleading look in her son's eyes. "Well, I don't know what you refer to each other as, but he's your boyfriend, I guess I could say. I'm sorry, I'm not really up to date on the current term for it."

"You mean, we're..." He looked back to Alex. "...gay?"

His mother smiled. "Knocked me for a bit of a loop, too. I had no idea until today." She looked at her watch. "Yesterday. Apparently you've been together for several months."

Fox continued to stare at the sleeping man. "You said he loves me?"

"Very, very much."

"Do I love him?"

"From the tone of your will..."

"My will?"

"Oh, Fox, this is all too much for you to swallow right now. Why don't you wait..."

"No, please. My will?"

"We were sure you were dead, honey. The proof...we had a funeral then went back to your apartment for the reading of your will. Your letter to Alex was so heartbreaking, and it left no doubt in my mind that you adored him."

"I don't understand. If you all thought I was dead, how did they find me?"

"Alex got a tip on the whereabouts of the men who had supposedly killed you. He took off to find them...to avenge your death, I assume. Your boss and partner followed him, and they found you. Well, Alex found you from what I was told. Thank God."

Fox stared at her for a while then looked back at Alex. "I didn't know what it was...the way he looked at me. The tone of his voice when he talked to me...and he was so protective." He shook his head and looked away. "I don't know what to do. How to act with him...with any of you."

"It's all right, sweetheart. We understand. Alex understands. We're just so thankful that you're alive, and you're well. I can't tell you what the last couple of days have been like for us." She looked to the man in the chair. "And poor Alex. He was shattered. He took it so hard, Fox. We were all so very worried about him."

Before she could continue, a soft moan drew their attention.

Alex stretched then sat bolt upright in the chair as though he had been frightened. His anxiety eased as soon as Fox came into focus. He blinked, looking at his watch, then rose from the chair.

"It's late," he whispered to mother and son. "Mrs. Mulder, why don't you let me see about getting you someplace to sleep?"

The woman sighed softly. "Thank you, Alex, but Mr. Skinner got us rooms at the motel directly across the street. He came in to let me know some time ago. I wanted to stay a while, though."

Fox glanced up at Alex then back to his mother. "You look really tired. You should go get some sleep."

The woman nodded. "I am exhausted. I think some rest would do me good."

"I'll walk you to your room," Alex offered.

As Mrs. Mulder rose, Alex got her coat and draped it over her shoulders.

"I was really hoping to hear from Miss Scully," she said, sliding her arms into the sleeves.

"I'll let you know as soon as there's something to report." Alex slipped his jacket on and waited while Fox's mother said goodnight to him.

"Go back to sleep, Fox." Mrs. Mulder kissed her son lightly, then, unable to resist, wound her arms around him. "I love you, sweetheart. That's something I didn't say nearly enough." She released the obviously uncomfortable man and backed away. "Goodnight."

"Try to go back to sleep," Alex advised softly. "I'll be right back."

Fox said nothing in answer. His gaze merely skittered away, and he chewed on the inside corner of his lip.

Once outside the room, the two moved quickly to the elevators.

"He looks a lot better than I expected to find him," Tina Mulder said by way of conversation.

"Yeah."

"Alex, I have to tell you..."

The elevator doors opened, and they came face to face with Scully and her three companions.

"What are you doing back here, now?" Alex asked, afraid to know the answer.

"They blew the place, Alex," Scully answered wearily. "I don't know how they got around security, but they did. That avenue is closed to us."

Mrs. Mulder raised her hands to her eyes as Alex turned away and gazed sightlessly out the lobby windows.

"Now, what?" the older woman asked.

"I don't know, Mrs. Mulder. I honestly don't know. I guess it's back to the hospital lab to make sure there isn't anything we may have overlooked. Other than that, I really don't know what to do." Scully walked toward Alex and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Alex. I know it's far from the news you wanted to hear."

Alex shrugged. "It's not your fault. You're doing everything you can."

"Well, listen, I'm beat. No sense in trying to get anything else done when I can't even see straight. I'm going to go get a few hours of sleep, then I'll be back."

"Okay. I was just going to walk Mrs. Mulder across the street."

Scully nodded. "We've all got rooms in that motel, so she can come with me and the guys. Skinner got a room for you as well, you know."

Alex shook his head. "I'm not leaving him."

"Didn't think you would. Well, goodnight. Try to get a little sleep, okay?"

"Okay."

The group departed, and Alex walked back in the direction of Fox's room. Outside the door, he took a couple of deep breaths and entered.

"You still awake?"

Silent nod.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not asleep."

It sounded for a minute like a typical Fox and Alex routine. The thought made Alex smile.

"Well, close your eyes. It's really late."

The hazel eyes drifted shut but a couple of minutes later were open again.

"She...my....mother...told me."

"Told you what?"

"About us."

Alex paled. "Sh...she did?"

Fox nodded, not meeting the other man's eyes. "She didn't want to at first. She said it was a conversation I needed to have with you. But you didn't seem too keen on telling me, so I insisted."

Alex looked down at the floor, at a loss for something to say.

"It's true?"

"...Yes."

"I...I...I don't know what to...I'm sorry."

"What about?"

"We're...we were...I don't know what tense to use..." He drew a deep breath and released it. "She told me that we were in love. She told me how hard you took it when you thought I was dead. I don't know what to say to you. I don't know what you're feeling."

"I'm fine," Alex answered, forcing himself to look Fox in the eye. "I'm just so relieved..."

"I understand that you don't want to upset me," Fox broke in. "You've been protecting me since you found me...do you want to hug me or something?" He watched the younger man's body twitch at the question.

"I'm all right, Fox," Alex lied in his most reassuring voice. "All I want is for you to go to sleep."

"But maybe....m-maybe if I touch you...maybe something will come back to me."

Alex closed his eyes and fought against the trembling of his lower lip.

"It...it's worth a try, isn't it?"

Bloodshot eyes opened and Alex hesitated before taking one, then two and more steps toward the bed. He sat at the edge of the bed, fidgeting with the corner of the blanket until Fox touched his arm. He looked up into the eyes he adored then leaned slowly against Fox's chest, wrapping his arms around the older man's waist. Fox's arms wound uncertainly around his back, and Alex lay against his love, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart.

There was no holding it.

Two tears escaped, one after the other from one eye, and Alex began a faint trembling. In no time, the trembling had turned to violent shudders, and he began to cry openly.

Fox listened to the anguished sobs of the man in his arms, and while he felt much compassion for him, uneasiness was the prevailing emotion. Hard as he tried, nothing came back to him. Not a flash, not a glimmer. Nothing at all.

Alex's sobs abated, and he pulled himself from Fox's stiff embrace. "I'm sorry," he sniffed, wiping at his eyes. "I...I didn't mean to put that on you."

"It's all right. I can't imagine how you must feel. It's got to be hell."

"It'll work out." Alex smiled through his tears. "You're alive, Fox. Yesterday, that wasn't even a possibility. If the devil had come to me with an offer to bring you back with the stipulation being that you'd never know me, I'd take it in a heartbeat."

"And be miserable knowing that we'd never be together?"

"I would live with it. There was and never will be any worse hell for me than you being gone from this world. I need you here...even if I can't have you in my life the way I did."

Fox lowered his head. "Doesn't seem very fair to you."

"Don't worry about me. I suppose I should be grateful that we lasted as long as we did. It was a hell of an accomplishment."

"What do you mean?"

Alex shrugged. "Nothing. I...I'm just tired. Why don't we get some sleep, okay?"

"No." Fox gave him that all too familiar determined look. "Why did you think we wouldn't last?"

Alex sighed wearily. "Let's just say I was always a bit insecure. Never felt quite worthy of you. I guess this is someone's way of telling me I was right."

"You sound like someone who's given up."

"I...I'm sorry," Alex looked down. "I didn't mean to come across that way. It's just that I'm really starting to feel the exhaustion right now, and I can't think straight." He looked up into the other man's eyes. "I'll fight for us for as long as it takes. I won't stop looking for a way to restore your memory until I'm sure that every possibility has been exhausted."

"And then?"

"And then, I guess it'll have to be all up to you. You'll have to decide whether or not you want to get to know me all over again. But, Fox...if you don't...if you find you don't want to try and rebuild what we had...if you feel no attraction to me, please tell me. I need you to be honest with me, okay? No matter how much you think it'll hurt me."

Fox gave no answer. He merely studied the other man's face.

Such sincerity in his eyes. Pretty, deep green eyes, fringed with long, dark lashes...eyes he could almost imagine himself falling into...

"Fox, please."

"I promise."

Alex nodded, satisfied. "Go to sleep, now." He adjusted the covers around Fox's shoulders, letting his hands linger for a bit longer than he needed to, then rose and took his seat in the chair.

"How can you sleep in that thing?" Fox asked, watching Alex try to settle his six foot frame into the small chair. "You should go to the motel."

"I'm not leaving you alone."

"I'll be fine."

"Yes, you will, Because I'm not leaving here until you do. Now, go to sleep." Alex sat up quickly, startled by the object that landed on his chest. He smiled over at the other man, realizing that Fox had tossed one of his pillows over at him. He tucked the pillow under his head and closed his eyes, mumbling a soft goodnight.

Fox sank down into the remaining pillows, not sleeping but watching Alex in the dim light.

In a way, he almost thought himself crazy to trust this man....this man who had rescued him from that tiny, dark room, and the things those men had done to him...stayed with him and protected him from the things he feared...this man who had just cried in his arms and showed him that, in no uncertain terms, he was deeply loved.

Crazy or not, he *did* trust this man.

This total stranger.

He stared at Alex until his head began to hurt and his eyes grew tired, trying to remember something about him...anything at all, but his efforts were fruitless. Finally, he gave up and closed his eyes, just missing the misty rays of dawn as they slowly filtered in through the closed blinds.

********************

"Scully."

"It's Skinner."

"You're there?"

"Yeah. They're still sifting through the rubble, but they've found all four of the officers who were missing. One had left the area just before the explosion, and the other three were found dead inside. They're questioning that fourth officer now. So, have you found anything?"

"Nothing at all. I've never seen anything like this. The properties are completely unrecognizable."

"You know what Mulder would say."

Scully sighed, a faint smile curving her lips. "I know." The smile disappeared. "Sir, I'm afraid we're fast approaching the end of the road, here."

"Just what I *didn't* want to hear. How's Mulder this morning?"

"He and Alex were asleep when I checked in on them at about eight. I left orders that they weren't to be disturbed. Maybe a good long rest'll help."

"You really think so?"

"......No. But it's all I can think to say right now."

"Well...it's after one. You think they're still asleep?"

"I assume so. I left a note for Alex, asking him to call me when he woke up, and I haven't heard from him. They're so tired, I don't doubt that they could still be out. I'm getting ready to quit, so I'll go up and check on them. God, I am *not* looking forward to telling Alex. Of all of us, he's got the most to lose."

"I know. I never thought I'd see the day when I felt sympathy for Alex Krycek."

"Me either. But he's shown me a lot...especially in these last few days. A person would have to be made of stone not to see how much he truly loves Mulder...speaking of Mulder...did you see Mrs. Mulder before you left?"

"Yes. She's not feeling well. I think it's all the excitement. She was just going to rest for a while. I told her if she felt worse to call you."

"All right, well, she hasn't called, so I guess she's okay. I'm going to go up now and get this over with."

"Good luck, Scully. I don't envy you."

Scully disconnected and, removing her gloves and lab coat, headed for the exit.

********************

Alex groaned softly as he woke. He opened his eyes, blinking in the brightness of the day, then looked at his watch.

"Damn."

"I don't know how you slept so long in that little chair."

He looked over at the man who was sitting up, staring at him.

"I've slept in much worse places than a chair." He stretched then rose and approached the bed. "How are you?"

Fox shrugged. "Not so tired...still don't remember anything."

"Well, it's afternoon, already. Let's hope Scully's down in the lab, finding something."

"I thought she was going back to the house."

Alex blew out a long breath. "She did. She came back last night as I was walking your mother to the elevator."

"I take it she didn't find anything helpful."

"She couldn't....Fox, they blew the house up."

Fox went quiet, picking at the edge of the blanket. "These people are awfully fond of blowing stuff up, aren't they?"

"Yeah."

The door opened, and Scully walked in, doing her best to smile.

"Ah, you're awake."

Alex picked up on her tone right away but said nothing.

"Find my life yet?"

Scully cast a wary glance at Alex. "Did you tell him about..."

"Yeah. Just now."

"I'm s...I wish I had better news, guys."

"You couldn't make an identification."

"No, Mulder. I'm afraid we're on our own."

Fox glanced from Scully to Alex and back again. "So, I'll never remember. My childhood or my parents...the life, the career I had..." He looked back to the man who had lowered his head. "...him..."

"Mulder, don't think like that. You could very well remember everything in time. In my opinion, those drugs I was able to identify should not permanently erase your memory."

"But the one you *couldn't* identify. You have no idea how it reacts with the other drugs."

Scully closed her eyes. "No, I don't."

"So the possibility that my memories are gone for good exists."

"Yes," she said, unable to lie to him. "Yes, there's always that possibility."

Fox fell silent, his attention now focused on Alex.

The younger man stood quietly, head down, eyes to the floor.

Scully broke the silence. "You know, Mulder, once you get home, back into your own apartment where things are really familiar, it could all come back to you," she snapped her fingers, "like that."

"And if not?"

"If all else fails, then we'll just have to reacquaint you with your life. Start at the very beginning and take you right through it. We'll tell you stories, show you pictures, take you places...anything and everything that you knew, you'll learn again." Noticing that her partner had started to look a bit overwhelmed, she added, "Little by little, of course. We'll move at a pace you're comfortable with. Do you want that?"

Fox was silent for a moment then nodded.

Scully gave him a reassuring smile. "Okay, well, I have to go talk to your doctor. He told me this morning that he thought you might actually be ready for release, but he wanted to give you the once-over first."

"All right. Uh...where's...where's my umm...I feel funny saying it."

"Your mother?"

"Yeah."

"She *is* your mother, Mulder. She may be a stranger to you, but you've been her son for all of your life. She's not feeling well, so she stayed at the motel room."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing much. She's just overcome by all that's happened in the last couple of days. She's exhausted...like we all are." Scully stepped forward and squeezed his hand. "I'll go talk to your doctor, now."

"Thank you."

When Scully was gone, Fox turned to face the one who was now staring out the window.

"So, I guess I'll be going home, soon...wherever that is."

Alex faced him with a trembling smile. "Yep."

Fox swallowed down the lump that seemed to have formed in his throat. "Wh...what she said was true. Maybe...maybe once I'm in more familiar surroundings..."

Alex nodded. "Yeah, maybe."

Fox lowered his head. "If...if, umm, nothing rings a bell, and I have to be taught...about my life...will..." He stopped, unsure of how to proceed.

"Will, what?" Alex asked gently, walking toward the bed.

"Will you help me?" Fox looked up, letting Alex see the chaos that raged behind his eyes.

"Of course I'll help you," Alex whispered. "Any way I can."

Fox nodded, chewing on his lower lip. "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, Fox. I'd do anything in the world for you."

Fox went quiet for a moment then thought of something. "Do we live together?"

"Oh...uh...yeah. But...but I can find someplace else if you're going to be uncomfortable with that."

"No," Fox was quick to answer. "No, I want my life just the way it was. I think there's a better chance of me remembering if everything's exactly as it was."

Something in his words struck at Alex's heart, and the younger man turned away.

"What? What did I say?"

When his question received no answer, he started guessing.

"Does it have to do with me wanting everything to be just like it was?"

Damn, he was always *way* too good at guessing.

"Oh...we're...and we must...shit."

Alex turned to face him. "Don't sweat it," he said as lightly as he could. "Things don't have to be *exactly* like they were. Us living in the same apartment is close enough. I'll sleep on the couch."

Fox ran his fingers through his hair. "God, I feel like shit."

"Don't. We're going to take this as slowly as you need too. And please, Fox, remember what I said. If at any time you feel that you don't want to go on trying, I want to know."

Fox nodded his agreement.

Scully re-entered the room, followed by the admitting doctor. She smiled at Fox then moved to Alex's side, waiting for the doctor to give his patient the once-over.

"How're you feeling today, Mr. Mulder?"

"Aside from not knowing who I am? Great."

"Well, once you get home, it might all come back to you."

"Uh-huh. And when'll that be?"

"As far as I'm concerned, if you check out okay, you can go home today," the doctor said, wrapping the blood pressure cuff around Fox's arm.

Alex watched a jumble of anticipation and fear battling for control in his lost lover's eyes, and he fought to keep himself from wrapping Fox in his arms and promising him that everything would be all right. Comforting words from a stranger, he was afraid, would hold little consolation and might only add to Fox's despondency.

After announcing that Fox was fit to leave, the doctor wished them luck and left to see to the release forms.

"That's great," Scully smiled, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. "You'll feel so much better, Mulder, when you're out of here and back home."

The look on Fox's face brought Alex immediately to his side. Before he could ask any questions, Fox looked over at Scully then up at him.

"You keep talking about this place called home, but I get no picture in my mind at all. I don't know where it is, I don't know what it looks like...how long I've lived there..."

"It's got to be scary, Mulder," Scully admitted. "You've got no choice but to trust people you don't know from a hole in the wall to tell you who you are and where you live...what your life is like. I can only imagine how frightening that must be. But please do trust us. We're all your friends and family, and we'd never hurt you."

Fox shifted his attention from the woman known as Scully to the man who stood silently by his side. He gave Alex an almost timid smile and shrugged.

"I guess we should go home then."

Alex said nothing; he only returned the smile.

"You know, I just had a thought. Mulder, you've got no clothes."

"I hadn't even thought of that," Alex responded to Scully's statement.

"It's okay," she held her hands up and turned to Fox. "Mulder, what size do you...oh...damn. I'm...I'm sorry....damn. Alex, do you know?"

"Yeah."

When Alex had written down the correct sizes and Scully had gone, he returned his attention to the man in the bed. He reached out, stroking Fox's hair just once before removing his hand. Fox watched hand curl into a fist and drop to his side.

"Still feeling apprehensive about going home?"

Fox nodded and shrugged at the same time, then asked an off-topic question.

"How did we meet?"

Alex blew out a short breath. "That's a long one. Are you sure you want to get into that right now?"

"Gotta start sometime."

"True." Alex gave him a nervous grin. "Just remember the story has a happy ending, okay?"

Fox tilted his head. "Starts out rough?"

"You might say that. I was uh...assigned to you.."

"Assigned to me...you're with the FBI too?"

"Not anymore."

"You're too young to be retired...what happened?"

"I screwed up big time is what happened. There were these men..."

Before Alex could explain, the door opened and Skinner and Tina Mulder entered. He stepped back as the woman approached and laid a gentle kiss on her son's forehead.

"Hello, sweetheart," Mrs. Mulder spoke to Fox then looked to Alex. "How are you boys today?"

Fox was first to speak. "Okay. How are *you*? We heard you weren't feeling well."

"Yes, I was feeling rather ill this morning, but I'm much better now." She took Fox's hand and smiled down at him. "And I hear you're going home. That's wonderful. You'll feel so much better once you're back there."

"That's what Scully said."

"You don't believe it?"

"I...I don't know. I want to believe that once I walk through the door, everything's just going to hit me in the face, but..."

Mrs. Mulder caressed her son's cheek. "But what, Fox?"

"But...if having my mother, my co-workers and the man I'm supposed to be in love with here with me isn't bringing my memory back, why should a few familiar rooms and some furniture do it?"

"We don't know, Mulder," Skinner finally spoke. "The thing that finally triggers your memory could be something so small, so insignificant. We just don't know."

"Skinner's right, Fox," Alex agreed, bringing a mild look of surprise to the A.D's face. "Don't be disappointed if it all doesn't just come rushing back to you as soon as you walk in the door. You're going to have to be patient."

"Am I the patient type?"

Alex gave him a small grin. "Depends on the situation."

Fox's eyes fell away from the other's face. "Well, do me a favor, okay? If I start to become too big a pain in the butt, let me know."

"Your personality hasn't changed, Mulder," Skinner informed him good-naturedly. "We'd start to become seriously worried if you *weren't* a pain in the butt."

A small pout formed on Fox's mouth, making Alex's heart swell. "You mean I aggravate you people?"

"It's just that you're rather..." Skinner looked to Alex then back at Fox, searching for the right word. "...intense..."

"You're saying I'm a *big* pain in the ass."

"No..." The word fell simultaneously from the lips of the other two men.

"Yes." The attention of all three men fell to the woman who looked around the room. "Well, he is. But I'm your mother, Fox, and I say it with love. You're a big pain in the ass. You're stubborn, opinionated, single-minded...I could go on, but sooner or later I would end up repeating myself. But the point, dear, is that all of these things are what make you, you. We wouldn't have you any other way."

"I'm back."

Four sets of eyes turned toward the door.

"What, did they have a clothing section down in the gift shop? Alex asked, surprised at Scully's speedy return.

"No, but there was a strip mall with a Sears in it."

"*Sears*..."

"Sorry, Alex, I didn't have time to find a J.Crew."

Alex emitted a sigh of distaste then withdrew the jeans and simple vee-neck sweater from the bag. "I guess it's okay," he mumbled, letting the items fall back over the underwear and sneakers in the bottom of the bag.

"Well, why don't we go back to the motel and let them get ready to leave?" Skinner advised the two women.

They all moved in the direction of the door, Mrs. Mulder dropping a kiss on her son's head first.

Alex placed the bag on the chair closest to the bed then drew closer to Fox. "We'll meet you over there, all right?"

Skinner nodded. "Take your time."

When the three had gone, Alex turned to Fox and gently drew the covers back. "Okay, let's get you showered and dressed."

Fox swung his legs off the bed and stood, taking a moment to balance himself. Alex stood beside him, prepared to help.

"I'm okay," Fox said softly, taking a tentative step toward the bathroom.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Fox took another step, and then another. "Just a little wobbly, but it's getting better."

By the time he reached the bathroom, he was walking almost normally, and Alex waited nervously outside the door, listening for any thumps or thuds that would tell him that Fox had lost his balance. In the twenty-five minutes that it took for Fox to shower and dress, he heard no such noises, and he blew out a long breath of relief when the door opened and the older man walked out into the room.

"Feel okay?"

"A little tired," Fox complained. "I didn't even do much."

"You're still a little weak. You'll be fine in another day or two."

Fox nodded. "So...considering I'm wearing clothes from Sears...do I look okay?"

Alex laughed softly. "Baby, you could make a burlap sack look good." A bit too late, he bit his tongue, mentally chastising himself for his slip, but if the endearment bothered Fox, the older man never let on.

Fox watched Alex move past him and gather the things they would be taking with them. That done, he guided Fox to a chair and eased him into it.

"Why don't you rest a minute while I go and see about getting us the hell out of here?"

Fox sat quietly and waited the few seconds it took for Alex to disappear from and re-enter the room. He was followed by a nurse and an orderly pushing a wheelchair.

"Time to go."

"That was fast."

"They were on their way here, anyway."

Fox signed himself out, and they left the hospital. Slowly, they walked across the street to the motel where they met up with their group.

Three men Fox did not recognize accosted him the moment he and Alex came through the doors. He flinched and backed up a couple of steps as the three flocked around him, patting him on the back and smiling.

"Welcome back to the living, dude," the skinny blonde grinned. "Hey, Mulder, can I still have your comic books?"

"*Comic books*..."

Fox looked from the blonde to the small man who had just wrapped his arms around his waist.  "Ignore him, Mulder. Damn, we're glad to see you. That video collection would have meant nothing to me with you gone, anyway."

"Back off, you cretins," the taller, bearded man said to the other two. "You're scaring the poor man, for God's sake."

Frohike released Fox who immediately moved in Alex's direction, feeling the need to be closer to the man he'd come to associate with security.

"Sorry about that, Mulder," the well-dressed man apologized. "We're just so glad to see you."

Fox looked at the oddball trio and frowned. "Who are you?"

"Damn, this is freaky," Langly commented, stepping forward. "We're your friends, man." He introduced himself then the other two. "We've known each other for years. We help you out on some of your cases. You know, provide you with certain..." He looked to Skinner then back. "...information..."

Fox shrugged. "Okay..."

A gentle hand on his arm drew Fox's attention to the man at his side.

"Nothing?"

Fox looked back at the three and shook his head.

"No biggie. Ready to go home?"

"I guess."

Alex gave him a heartening smile, and the group moved out to the parking lot. There, they divided up into three smaller parties and got into their vehicles. The Gunmen left together while Tina Mulder went with Scully and Skinner, leaving Alex and Fox alone.

Alex opened the door, and Fox slid into the car. He watched the younger man round the front of the vehicle and drop into the driver's seat, giving him a tiny grin when forest-green eyes turned his way. Alex returned the smile and started the car.

Fifteen minutes later, they were on the highway and heading back to Alexandria.

"So..." the soft monotone broke the silence. "Tell me about these men."

"Huh?"

"Before Skinner and my mother came in earlier, you were saying you screwed up big time and then mentioned some men."

Alex shook his head. "God, Fox, this is such a complicated story. Are you sure you don't want to start with your mother at the beginning of your life and then work forward? By then I might actually have my thoughts together enough to give you a coherent account of what happened."

"I don't want to wait that long. My life...my present life is with you, right?"

Alex nodded.

"Then that's what I want to know about. I want to know about now. I want to know about us."

"Your present life also involves Scully and Skinner and your work...it's a huge part of your life..."

"My memory may be gone, but I'm not stupid," Fox said in that persistent voice that Alex knew all too well. "Why are you trying to throw me off the subject of our life?"

"I...I'm not, Fox, it's just...I told you, it's very complicated. And long. I'm afraid that if I leave something out, if I miss something...it might throw a false light on our relationship."

"Just start at the beginning, take your time, and tell me the truth."

Alex sighed softly. "All right. You started out in the Violent Crimes Division. Your talent for profiling suspects had grown to almost legendary proportions. You're brilliant, Fox...bordering on genius. You've helped catch some of the most elusive criminals the FBI has ever known. One day, you happened across the X-files..."

"The what?"

Alex groaned inwardly. If the word X-files didn't jog his memory...

"The X-files. A bunch of unsolved cases that, because of their nature, were filed away and buried. You dug them out and became so immersed in them, that you left the VCU and devoted all your time to them. You were allowed to do so, for what reason, I'm not sure. In time, people began to sit up and take notice of your work. It made certain groups nervous..."

"Why?"

"I gotta go back a little bit. When you were a boy, your sister was abducted. She was never returned. You witnessed this, and you never got over it. You believed that she was abducted by aliens..."

Fox cocked his head. "Little green men?"

"Well, you always said that they were gray...but anyway, the X-files...these unsolved cases were all supernatural in nature, and some of the information you dug up pointed to a conspiracy within our own government. You didn't know it at first, but these people I mentioned before started to get really nervous. They knew you. They were well aware of your brilliance and your tenacity. They arranged to give you a partner...Scully. You know she's a doctor...they thought that someone with a background in science would be an obstacle. She was there to debunk your work and lead you back into the Bureau mainstream. But it didn't work out quite the way they wanted it to. She still challenged you, but you two formed a bond that they couldn't break. Even after they shut the X-files down..."

Fox listened quietly trying to absorb what Alex was telling him.

"That's where I came in."

Fox turned in his seat, facing Alex more fully.

"I'd heard about you in the academy. Your cases were used as examples in classes, and everyone knew the name Fox Mulder. They also knew your nickname."

"I had a nickname?"

"You still do, though most people only use it behind your back."

"Can't be too flattering, then. What do they call me?"

"Spooky. Because of the work you do. You're considered to be a bit...eccentric."

"People think I'm nuts?"

"Some. I never did."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I just...I had more respect for you than that...even though I didn't even know you. Anyway, I was approached one day just before graduation by a group of men. They said they'd been monitoring that year's class, looking for someone with some very specific qualities. They'd finally singled me out and asked if I'd be interested. They told me that it was of the utmost importance to national security, and that I would be doing my country a tremendous service." He stopped to emit a soft, harsh laugh. "I was so dazzled by the idea and so proud that out of my entire class, these men thought *I* had what it took."

Fox shifted in his seat but remained silent and attentive.

"They began to train me. It was intense, and some of it came in contrary to what I believed, but they convinced me...almost brainwashed me into believing that I would be working in the best interests of the country. They trained me in espionage, Fox. They trained me to kill. I took to it like a duck to water, and still I was proud of myself. I was doing so well...they were so happy with me. I thought I was going to be a hero....stupid kid."

"A little over a year later, they came to me with my first assignment. They told me that they were going to partner me with Fox Mulder, and I couldn't believe it. I was going to get to work with the legend. They didn't tell me what the assignment was until the next day, and I was left to imagine us in all sorts of situations, working together...saving the world. I prayed to God that night that I would remember everything I was taught and that I would impress you and do well. The next day, they explained to me that you were unwittingly working in an area that was damaging to national security. My job was to distract you from your job and somehow rein you in. I didn't understand. I asked them why they just didn't tell you that what you were working on was harmful to the country. They said that you had gone way beyond the realm of rationality...that you had become dangerous, and they feared what would happen if they confronted you."

"And you believed it?"

"I didn't want to. But hell, I didn't know you, and I had no reason to believe that they would lie to me. I took the assignment and did my damnedest to do my job, but..."

"But, what?"

"I became attracted to you almost instantly. I still did my job, but it was that much harder. I reported to them every other day, and having met Scully and seeing the bond you shared, it wasn't hard for me to report that she was a definite obstacle to the mission. They had her...removed..."

Fox tilted his head. "Removed?"

"They took her. They arranged an abduction much like your sister's. You went off to find her after hearing a phone call that she tried making to you just before she was taken, and I followed. My instructions were to keep you from reaching your destination no matter how I had to do it."

"Even if you had to kill me?"

"Even if I had to kill you."

"You obviously didn't."

"I never would have. There'd been plenty of instances, Fox. Plenty of opportunities, but I would never take them. I did my job to the best of my ability, but I drew the line at hurting you. Anyway, Scully was taken away, and I was pulled off the assignment. We didn't meet again for a long time. Scully was returned some time later, and Skinner reopened the X-files."

"You...you said we didn't meet again for a long time. What did you do in that time?"

Alex shook his head. "Awful stuff. Things I still have nightmares about..."

"So...for the most part, you were a hired gun."

"I did much more than that, but yes. And I continued on that way until they decided it was time to get rid of me. That's when I came to the conclusion that Alex Krycek would stop being a pawn. I went on to become a major player in their game, and they had no choice. They either played with me, or I blew them all out of the water. I made them think I was still with them, though for my own purposes. But I was working against them...I still am."

"So, when did we team up again?"

"We didn't. So many things happened, Fox. So many things you couldn't get past...before I split from the Consortium, I..." He sigh softly. "The car really isn't the place for me to say this to you. We're almost home. Can you wait for the rest until you're settled?"

Fox studied the man carefully, trying to read his expression. "Okay. If you insist."

"I just really think it'd be better."

Fox nodded and sank into the seat, trying to process what had been told to him so far. It was a fantastic story, one he was sure was loaded with more details than what Alex had given him, but it was more than enough for him to think about right now.

The man was a killer...and from what he'd understood, a triple agent. And, apart from what he'd already told Fox, it was apparent that he'd done something even more disturbing. So disturbing, that he wanted to wait until Fox was comfortably settled before telling him about it.

Yet, they'd supposedly gotten through all of it...whatever all of it was, and had fallen madly in love.

//God, it all sounds so insane when you put it that way.//

Fox quietly watched the younger man's face out of the corner of his eye, appreciating the curl of his dark lashes and sad pout of his mouth, and he wondered how one who appeared so loving and patient could be what Alex was telling him he'd been.

********************

"So, what do you really think?" Tina Mulder's voice resonated in the silence of the car.

Scully turned back to look the older woman in the eye. "Think about what?"

"Will he ever really remember?"

"I wish I could say for sure, Mrs. Mulder. The truth is, I really don't know."

"I don't know what he'll do...what his life will be like if he can't remember."

"I don't know that either. We'll just have to help him through it the best way we can."

Tina Mulder nodded. "He was obviously happy before this happened. The one thing I want for him, even if he never remembers, is to have that happiness back."

"He will be," Scully assured her. "He's the same person he was. Alex is the same. And he loves your son. Whatever it was that brought them together in the first place will bring them together again. It may take a little while, but they'll be happy."

********************

Alex pulled into the parking garage and shut the engine off. Looking over to the passenger's side, he noticed that Fox looked a bit pale.

"Fox? Are you all right?"

"Y-yeah. I'm...so, this is it?"

"Yeah. Come on, let's go up."

They entered the building and rode the elevator up to the fourth floor in silence. When the doors opened, Alex stepped into the hall, waiting for Fox to join him before moving toward apartment forty-two. They reached the door, and he handed the key to the other man. Fox looked to him curiously, and he motioned silently to the lock.

Fox looked down at the key in his hand for a number of seconds before finally inserting it into the lock and turning it. He inhaled deeply and opened the door, stepping inside.

Alex hung back a bit, letting Fox enter first and look around. He stepped into the apartment as Fox moved slowly forward, taking everything in. The older man spun in a slow arc, investigating everything in his line of sight, then turned to Alex, a hopeless expression on his face.

"Nothing."

"Fox..." Alex moved forward, stopping when they were only inches apart. "You knew that the chances of you remembering everything the minute you walked in were slim. You need time to absorb everything. Don't push it. Just try to relax, okay?"

Fox nodded, lowering his eyes. He stood quietly, feeling the proximity of the man in front of him and almost wishing that Alex would pull him into his arms.

Alex stood in front of Fox, breathing deeply, inhaling the scent of him, and mentally willed himself to keep his hands off of the confused man. Before he could give in, Fox moved away, drifting in the direction of the fish tank.

"Hey, guys," he said softly. "Remember me?" He rested the fingers of one hand against the glass. "I don't remember you..."

A sound in the direction of the doorway drew his and Alex's attention, and they turned to find the rest of their group coming through the door.

"We just came in to see if..." Langly let his statement trail off, noting the looks on the faces of the two men.

Scully stepped forward, laying a hand on Fox's shoulder. "Take it slowly, Mulder. Try not to force it."

"Yeah, yeah," the unhappy man answered softly.

Tina Mulder approached, pulling her son toward her. "Fox, I'm going to spend one more night here in town, then I'm going home to give you time to re-adjust here." She turned to Alex. "Maybe in a week or two, if nothing has happened, you might come out for the weekend?"

Alex looked to Fox for a response. Receiving none, he answered the best he could. "That's fine with me, Mrs. Mulder. We'll talk about it a little later, all right?"

"All right, dear." She looked back at Fox. "We're going to leave you alone now, sweetheart. You get some rest, and I'll see you tomorrow before I leave."

Fox nodded silently, head tilted downward. The woman pressed a kiss into his hair and backed away, taking the rest of the group with her toward the door. Alex said goodbye to everyone, thanking them for their help, and the door closed, leaving them alone once more.

"Want to see the rest of the apartment?"

"Okay," Fox answered flatly, and Alex took him on an abbreviated tour, ending with the bedroom. Fox looked around, investigating both closets when Alex had pointed out to him which was which. He stood in front of his own closet, noting the couple dozen suits and various ties and shirts, then looked into Alex's closet, his eyes wandering over the very different wardrobe. "Looks like you're a lot more comfortable than I am."

The other man smiled. "You don't wear suits twenty-four seven. You've got plenty of your own jeans and whatnot."

"I didn't see any."

"That's because your suits take up all the closet space. Your casual clothes are in your drawers." Alex slid open each drawer, pointing out the rest of Fox's clothes. As they were exiting, Fox stopped, his gaze falling on the bed.

Alex backed up and approached from behind. "What is it?"

"It's not fair to you."

"What isn't?"

"We shared this bed, right?"

"...Yeah."

"It's not fair for you to have to sleep on the couch."

"Fox, we've been through this. It's all right. Really."

Fox sighed softly and moved past Alex, leaving the room. He re-entered the living room and sat down on the sofa, once more looking around. "Can we finish talking, now?"

Alex chewed on his lower lip...a habit he seemed to have picked up from his lover, and sat in the chair across from him. "Sure, why not?" he answered softly. "Where were we?"

"You were going to tell me about something you did."

"Yeah...right. Something I did. Umm...Fox, these men I've told you about...your..your father was part of their group..."

"Father. My father..I've heard nothing about him until now. How come?"

"...He's deceased."

"Oh. But...but at one time he was involved with these people?"

"Yes. I...I knew of him, but he was long before my time. I'd never seen him...had no idea what he looked like or anything...and one day...one day they came to me with a new assignment. They wanted me to kill a man. By then it was no big thing to me, and it's only now that I can look back and think how terrible that was. To think of killing someone as just another job..."

Fox waited patiently, but for some reason, his heart had begun to thud.

"The man they wanted me to kill..." Alex licked nervously at his lips. "Fox, it was your father." He watched a look of disbelief cross Fox's face and then horror. "I didn't know, Fox, I didn't. I was handed an assignment, and I did the job. I had no idea who it was I was to kill. I didn't even know you were there..."

"I was where?"

"There...in the house. I was hiding in the bathroom...the shower, and when he came in to get some pills...after I shot him, I heard your voice. I knew it was you...I'd never forget the sound of your voice. I heard you call to him, and I was sick. I really didn't know, Fox. I...I ran, I didn't know what to do. If...if I'd known, I never would have..."

Fox tilted his head, sending Alex a confused frown. "You killed my father?"

"Yeah, but...God, this is worse than the first time. Fox, did you hear me? I didn't know until later that he was your father."

Fox shook his head. "I don't know...I can't remember him, I can't picture the man's face, but..."

Alex left his chair and squatted in front of Fox. "Fox...baby..."

Fox looked up, hearing the term of affection.

"We got past it. I ...I lied at first. I told you that I didn't do it. I don't know why...I...I'd already become interested in you, and I guess I thought that if I told you the truth that there'd *never* be a chance for us, if you...not that you'd ever given me the slightest impression." He covered his face with one hand. "I don't know, I...it was stupid. I told you a long time later. I explained it, and even though you hated me for a lot of other reasons, at least I'd told you the truth, whether you believed it or not."

"You're telling me," Fox interrupted softly, "that I forgave you for killing my father and that you and I became lovers."

"Yes."

"When did all this supposedly happen?"

"Your father died years ago. You and I became lovers last year."

Fox sat stone still, eyes cast to the floor. "How did we end up together?"

"I caught wind of a hostage situation that you were involved in out west, and I went and got you out."

"*You* did. Wasn't the FBI was involved?"

"The place was swarming with law enforcement, but they were playing it by the book. There was no time for that. Those men would have killed you and everyone else in that lodge. I went in and got you."

"And then, what?"

"I have a cabin in Oregon. I took you there. You were very sick, and you were wounded. I...I took care of you..."

"What about Scully? She's my doctor, right?"

"Scully didn't know where you were. I slipped you out without anyone seeing."

Fox lifted his head and looked flatly at Alex. "Why?"

"If they'd known, they never would have let me take you."

"So you kidnapped me?"

"Sort of."

"Let me get this straight. You killed my father...you kidnapped me...what else have you done to my family?"

"Nothing. Fox, please. You're getting too upset. Let's just stop here for now. I'll get you something to eat..."

"No. I want the rest."

"It can wait a little while."

"No, it can't. I want to know the rest, right now."

Alex bowed his head in resignation. "Fine. I'd...I'd been planning for some time to get you up to the cabin. I'd wanted you for so long, and when you were so close to the cabin...I had the opportunity, and before I could chicken out, I took it."

Fox shook his head in disbelief. "I don't understand. What...*what* were you hoping for?"

"The impossible." Alex lifted his head and met Fox's eyes. "And it happened. Somehow, it happened. We got past all the bullshit and found each other. It was rough at first; you didn't want to admit what you felt for me, but you did after a while, and we spent a few perfect days together."

"Just a few?"

Alex nodded. "You had to get back to the real world sooner or later. You didn't want to, though. You wanted to stay there with me."

Fox ignored the implication. "You didn't come back with me?"

"No. I...I had things to do, but we talked on the phone a couple of days, then you told Scully about us, and we ran into problems."

"What kind of problems?"

"Well, she hated me. She didn't trust me as far as she could throw me, and she thought I'd done something to you."

"Something?"

"She wasn't entirely sure that I hadn't brainwashed you somehow."

"You didn't, did you?"

"No," Alex whispered. "Everything you felt for me, you felt on your own."

"Why'd *Scully* hate you?"

"A lot of the same reasons you had...and I...I was involved with her sister's death."

"Her *sister*." Fox sat back, leaning his head against the cushion of the sofa. "Jesus. You killed her sister?"

"No. N-no. I was there. The guy I was with...he shot her."

"Why?"

"It was a mistake." Alex clasped his hands together. "Oh, God...the bullet wasn't meant for her."

"Who *was* it meant for?"

"...Scully." Alex looked up into appalled eyes. "Fox..."

"You were trying to kill my partner?"

The younger man blew out a soft breath. "Yes."

"Oh, this is good." Fox rose from the sofa and began to pace. "Let me see is I've got this right, now. You killed my father. In a screwed-up murder attempt on my *partner's* life, you...excuse me, your *companion* kills her sister...whoever the hell it is you worked for had her abducted while you kept me from saving her...God knows what happened after that...and years later, you kidnap *me* and hold me prisoner at some cabin in Oregon." He spun on his heel and addressed the man who remained on his knees in front of the sofa. "Have I got it right so far?"

"Basically."

"And you're telling me that I'm in love with you."

"Yes."

"You're a kidnapper, a spy and a murderer. I can only assume that I can add consummate liar to that stellar list. So, why the hell should I believe you?"

"I guess you have no reason to." Alex rose to his feet and faced the older man, looking at him through glazed eyes. "But for what it's worth, everything I've told you is the truth. You can ask Scully and Skinner if you like. They know how much I love you."

"*How* do they know?" Fox's voice took on an agitated tone. "How do *I* know? Because you've told us? How much are your assurances worth?"

Alex flinched at Fox's words.

"You've done all these things...you've hurt me and my friends and family, and you want me to trust you...you *expect* me to trust you...don't you?"

"You did once. And we were happy. I'd hoped that you would again." Alex looked away, unable to meet the accusing, gold-flecked stare. "I uh...I...I'm going to go. I'm not helping you; I'm only making things a lot worse. That isn't what I wanted to do."

Fox watched Alex drift from the room, staring in his direction even after he heard the bedroom door open and close. A million questions ran through his head even as tremors began to course through his body.

This was who he'd been sharing his life with? This man, this hired thug who had come into his life under the most dishonest of circumstances...this kidnapper, this murderer...

He lowered his head into his hands.

This man who had rescued him from those who had stolen his memory...protected him from the things he feared...the same man who refused to leave his side, treated him so gently...looked at him with such love.

The man who had wept like a child in his arms...

Fox lifted his head and watched as Alex re-entered the room with a single, large leather bag slung over his shoulder, and his trembling increased.

"I'll uh...I'll call Scully," Alex said to the man on the sofa. "Let her know." His eyes left the floor for moment to look at Fox. "If you need..." He broke off his offer. "I'll check in with Scully to see how you are."

Inexplicable panic set in as Fox watched Alex move to the door.

"*No*."

The younger man stopped and turned around, noting the expression of fear on Fox's face. He left the bag by the door and approached slowly.

"What is it? Fox, are you all right?"

"Don't," Fox answered on a shaky breath. "Don't go."

Alex gave him a confused stare.

"...Please."

"But..."

Fox said nothing more. He only looked up at the other man, his eyes pleading.

Alex opened his mouth, his lips moving but no sound coming out. Finally, he forced himself to speak.

"Are you sure?"

The other man nodded.

Alex hesitated, then backed off a step. "Okay," he said on a coarse whisper then retrieved his bag. Casting a sidelong glance at the seated man, he moved slowly into the bedroom.

Fox sat a while longer, eyes darting around the room, then got up and went to the bedroom.

The door was open, and he stepped cautiously inside, quietly watching as Alex put his clothes away.

Alex hung his last pair of jeans up and shut the closet door to find himself being watched. Not knowing what to do, his gaze skittered away, and they stood in awkward silence.

"I sh...I shouldn't have reacted that way," Fox said long seconds later. "I should've thought about it..."

"You feel the way you feel," Alex answered softly. "There's nothing to think about."

"No, I...there was. I completely forgot that it was you who took me out of that house...and how you were right there for me the whole time. I don't know...I don't know everything that happened; I shouldn't have..." Fox stopped, searching for something apologetic to say. "...I think Scully and Skinner are too smart not to know if you're lying. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped on you like that."

"It's all right," Alex said, sadness still flowing through his voice. "All you know of me is what I've told you so far. It's not hard to see how you would think what you do about me."

"I shouldn't have done that to you," Fox apologized again. "I won't do it again. I'll just listen to everything you have to tell me, and I won't judge. I promise."

Alex could sense the anxiety in the other man...could see it in his face and hear it in his voice. He wanted so much to do something to relieve Fox's fear, but he had fears of his own. He was afraid that if he touched the other man, it wouldn't end there. He'd want to hold him. And holding Fox in his arms was all he'd ever needed to arouse his desire. That couldn't happen. Not now. He was terrified of pushing him farther than he was ready to go. He had no idea what effect it would have on Fox, and after the near-disastrous result of the conversation they'd had just a little while ago, he wasn't particularly anxious to find out.

"Are you hungry? I can go see what's in the kitchen..."

Fox shrugged, unsure of what to say. He wasn't especially hungry, but he thought that if he ate, Alex would too, and he remembered hearing from Scully about how little the other man had eaten in the last few days.

"Yeah, I...I guess."

Alex nodded and moved around Fox, heading out of the bedroom. "Why don't you go relax? Watch t.v. or something, and I'll get something ready."

Fox wandered back over to the sofa, picking the remote up off of the coffee table. He turned the set on, but his attention kept getting drawn away. His eyes scanned the room over and over, trying to pick something out. Anything at all that looked the slightest bit familiar, but nothing his gaze fell on rang a bell. They were all just objects to him. Things that occupied space in a place that was his only because a lease said so. And in the kitchen, there was a man. A handsome, sad, sweet killer who loved him but whose love he couldn't return.

Though he couldn't deny that he felt something. He'd trusted this man from the beginning, and with the exception of the terrible way he'd treated him earlier, they'd gotten along exceptionally well. And just now when Alex had been about to leave, the feeling that had come over him was one of sheer panic. He felt safe with this man. Protected.

Fox closed his eyes, feeling the onset of another headache. He tried to clear his head of all thoughts and simply relax, but it wasn't an easy thing to do. So much information to process. So much emotion all at once.

He swung his legs up on the sofa and lay down, pulling a throw pillow over his face, blocking out all light, but the pain did not lessen. In fact it increased, building to a throb that drew him to his feet and out of the room.

********************

Alex pulled two plates down from the cabinet, preparing to serve a meal made up of the food that people had dropped by during their brief period of mourning. The thought that Fox's friends and acquaintances should be informed of his return flitted across Alex's mind but disappeared just as quickly as Fox drifted in, looking dazed. Alex dropped the serving spoon he held and rushed to him.

"Fox, what's wrong? You don't look good."

Fox closed his eyes for a second then reopened them. "My head."

"What? Does it hurt?"

The other man nodded.

"Okay, come on." Alex guided him out of the kitchen and into the bedroom, laying him down on the bed. "Stay here. I'll go get you some aspirin and some food."

Once he was sure that Fox was as comfortable as he could make him, Alex rushed to the kitchen and got his dinner. He returned minutes later and set a tray down over the older man's legs. Next, he went into the bathroom and grabbed a bottle of Motrin out of the medicine cabinet. He came back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.

"How bad is it?"

"Hard to keep my eyes open. Hard to think."

Alex shook three tablets out of the bottle and placed them down on the tray. "Okay, you have to try to eat a little bit. I don't want the pills to upset your stomach."

Fox struggled to sit up while Alex held the tray, then he forced himself to eat while the younger man looked on, worry creasing his brow. A third of the way through the meal, he pushed the plate away.

"No more."

Alex frowned, disappointed that Fox had eaten so little, but he decided that it would just have to do. He placed a glass of water in the older man's hand and held the pills out to him. Fox took the offering, dropped the tablets into his mouth, and washed them down. Alex took the tray away and tucked the light blanket up around Fox's shoulders. He shut the light off, plunging the room into semi-darkness.

"Better?"

Fox nodded and let his eyes close.

"Try to sleep, okay?" Alex threw caution to the wind and raised his hand to Fox's head, tenderly stroking the other man's hair. "You'll feel better when you wake up."

Fox moaned softly, tilting his head into the caress and bringing a tiny, sad smile to Alex's lips.

His beautiful, lost Fox. Returned to him by some miracle, though only in part. The piece of him that knew Alex as the man who adored him was gone...possibly forever, and now Alex would have to try all over again to win his heart.

Alex continued to gently pet the golden-brown head, watching the matching eyelashes flutter as another soft moan escaped Fox's slightly parted lips.

Fox needed him here, that much was clear. Alex could read it in his frightened, uncertain gaze when the older man had apologized for turning on him and asked him to stay. But dependency was a poor substitute for love, and Alex had to wonder if the sins he'd very recently revisited upon them would prove to be too great an obstacle for Fox to overcome in his present state. He could only pray that they weren't.

He sat for at least half an hour after he was sure that Fox was asleep then rose from the bed. Leaning over the other man, he deposited a soft kiss on the top of his head, picked up the tray, and slipped quietly from the room.

********************

Fox opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by total darkness.

He sat up quickly, heart pounding as he searched the void. Finally realizing that he hadn't awakened feeling ill or cold and that he wasn't chained to the bed he lay on, he began to relax. He took two deep breaths and fumbled for the lamp he remembered seeing on the table by the bed. Pale light washed the room, and he scanned the area, finding himself alone. His heart rate began to increase again as he listened to the silence.

"Alex?"

Not realizing that he had called far too softly to be heard, panic set in. He got out of bed and passed through the open door, making his way to the living room.

The room was quiet and fairly dark, but a few slim bands of moonlight passed through the slitted blinds, falling across the figure on the sofa.

Fox drew a steadying breath and crept over toward the sleeping man. He carefully lowered himself to the coffee table, sitting at the edge and studied the sleep-softened features of the one he knew only as his guardian.

He wondered idly, as he contemplated the heavy sweep of lashes and relaxed bow of the man's lips, how someone who looked so nearly angelic in sleep and behaved in such a sweet and patient manner could possibly be what Alex had told him he'd been. But he *had*, at least in part, witnessed Alex's anger when the EMT had insisted on restraining Fox to the stretcher. He hadn't hesitated to draw his gun on the man, and the look in his eyes had been one of pure malice. But the moment his attention had returned to Fox, that had all melted away and only the man he'd come to know over the last couple of days had remained.

Such a contradiction, he thought. Able to go from malevolent to loving in a matter of seconds...

Fox stopped breathing as Alex shifted. The sleeping man settled into a new position and sighed softly. The sound resonated in Fox's ears and sent an unexplainable flutter through his lower regions.

He lifted himself carefully off the table and settled into the nearby chair where he continued to watch Alex sleep until he himself drifted into slumber.

********************

Alex opened his eyes at quarter to seven, and the first thing that came into his line of vision was Fox sprawled in the chair across from the sofa, arms folded over his chest, head tilted to one side...fast asleep.

He sat up and swung his legs off the sofa, stretching before rising to his feet, then walked over to the chair. He kneeled beside the sleeping man and laid a gentle hand on his knee.

"Fox."

"Hmm."

"Hey," Alex whispered, rubbing the spot on which his hand rested.

Almost gray eyes opened halfway, and Fox frowned as he took in a deep breath.

"Oww...."

"Neck hurt?"

The older man nodded and winced as he lifted his head.

"What the heck were you doing sleeping in the chair? I left you fast asleep in your bed last night."

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," Fox croaked as he massaged his own shoulder. "But I woke up and it was dark and quiet. I just...I came out to see where you were, and I sat down for a little while..."

Alex gave him a hint of a grin. "Why don't you go back to bed? It's still early."

Fox hesitated a moment, looking into patient, green eyes then, "N-no, I'm awake."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Each man fell silent for a moment, staring curiously at the other. Fox was the first to break the spell.

"I think I'll go take a shower. Maybe the warm water will help with some of the stiffness."

Alex gave him a soft smile and got to his feet, allowing Fox to rise from the chair. When the older man had vacated the room, Alex dropped back onto the sofa, turning the t.v. on. He watched the news, paying only partial attention to the reports. Most of his mind was focused on the day ahead, wondering what it would bring. He was still speculating when Fox emerged from the bathroom some twenty minutes later, wearing jeans and a lightweight, slate blue sweater that served to enhance the gray in his eyes.

"I...I got these clothes from one of the drawers you said were mine," Fox stammered, noting Alex's stare.

"Hmm? Oh, *yeah*, those are your clothes. Did you think they weren't?"

Fox shrugged. "You were staring."

Alex rose and walked over to the other man. "I'm sorry," he apologized softly. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just that I still can't believe you're really here. I guess I need to keep reassuring myself."

Fox lowered his eyes and said nothing. Even though he didn't know Alex, the younger man knew *him* well enough to realize that he was feeling uneasy.

"I'll go get showered and dressed, and then we can have breakfast?"

"Okay," Fox answered noncommittally and moved toward his desk, tentatively poking around.

Alex journeyed to the bathroom and brushed his teeth then stepped into the shower. He closed his eyes, letting the soothing spray flow over his body. Thoughts of him and Fox together, washing and teasing each other, soon crept into his head and brought his cock to almost painful attention.

//Oh, God.//

Images of the two of them pressed together under a torrent of steaming water played in his head as he passed the sponge over his chest.

Mouths and hands everywhere, sliding over warm, slick skin...the cold contrast of the tiles as Fox pushed him against the wall, tongue exploring the muscled contours of his back...

Alex groaned softly within the confines of the shower as his hand moved the sponge lower, working in small circles toward his throbbing erection. He flinched as the sponge touched the head of his cock, his mind simultaneously seeing Fox's hand slide around and grasp the swollen shaft, teasing with light strokes.

He heard himself whimpering and begging to be fucked, and he could hear Fox laughing softly in his ear, a low throaty sound that turned his insides to hot liquid.

//Please, God...please, Fox...//

//Please, Fox, what?//

//Please fuck me.//

//You want it now?//

//Yeah, now.//

Alex wrapped the sponge around his cock and began to jerk it as he imagined his lover pushing between the cheeks of his ass and into his body.

//Jesus, baby, you're s-so tight. So hot...squeeze me, Alex. Yeah...that's it. God, that's good...//

Alex's muscles tightened as he increased the speed of his strokes. He could almost feel Fox's hand around him, pumping harder as he slammed into his ass.

//Come on, baby. Come for Fox...nice and hard...//

Alex leaned back against the wall as he tightened his grip, and the sponge flew over his cock. Harsh groans filtered through his gritted teeth as he came, shooting a warm geyser of fluid over his fist. He lay his head back against the tile, his breaths coming in short gasps as his orgasm subsided. Once sufficiently composed, he pushed himself slowly away from the wall and continued with his shower.

********************

Fox opened cabinet door after cabinet door, cursing softly to himself as he looked for a bowl to crack some eggs into.

"What are you doing?"

The other man turned at the now familiar sound of Alex's voice and sighed heavily.

"I thought I'd get breakfast started, but..."

Alex approached slowly. "But, what?"

"I don't..." Fox paused, sighing again impatiently. "...I don't know where anything is."

"It's all right," Alex soothed. "I'll show you...well, I see you already found the pots and pans..." He opened a cabinet door. "Here are the dishes and glasses." He closed that door and opened another. "The mixing bowls are here. The smaller ones are in front, and the bigger ones are in the back..."

"I *looked* there."

Alex began to laugh but cut it off when a wounded expression crossed the other man's face. "I'm sorry," he said, touching Fox's arm lightly. "It's just that I've heard that before."

"Heard what before?"

"What you just said about looking there. You'd be looking for something that I told you would be in a certain place, you'd turn the room upside down looking for it, then yell that you couldn't find it. I'd come in and pull it out of the exact spot where I told you it'd be, and you'd give me that 'I *looked* there' line." He gave Fox a tiny smile and a shrug. "It was just funny."

Fox couldn't help returning the smile. "Yeah, I guess it would be."

Alex gave the older man a toss of his head. "Come on, I'll show you where everything else is."

When the kitchen tour was finished, Alex began breakfast, Fox helping a bit then contenting himself to settle into a chair at the table, watching the younger man over a glass of orange juice.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?" Alex answered, not shifting his attention away from the omelet he was preparing to flip.

"Am I the same person you knew?"

Having successfully completed his task, Alex turned to face the seated man. "What do you mean?"

"Am I any different? I mean aside from the obvious."

"No, I wouldn't say so."

Fox studied the other man's face. "Is that the truth?"

"I've considered the possibility that your personality might undergo some sort of change, but, Fox, it's only been a day. Yeah, it's the truth."

"What if you find in a couple of days that it has?"

"That's why I made you promise to tell me if you decided that you didn't want to be with me."

"But maybe...maybe it'll be *you* who decides that."

Alex cocked his head, unsure of where Fox was going with his statement.

"I mean...maybe I'll change so much that it'll be you who doesn't want to be with *me*."

"No."

"You can't say that."

"Yes, I can. I don't care how much you change; I'm here for as long as you want me to be."

Fox shook his head. "No. No, I don't want you to hang around just because I might want you to. If you think I've changed too much...if I've turned into someone you don't want to be around, don't stay. You...you've been so good to me. I wouldn't want to put you through that."

"Fox..." Alex pulled a chair out and sat down, staring directly into the older man's eyes. "You'll never change so much that I wouldn't want to be with you."

"You don't know that."

"I *do* know that."

Fox fell silent, staring back into intense, green eyes.

He was so sure, so positive, Fox felt he had no choice but to believe.

"Damn, my omelet."

Alex bolted out of the chair, just barely saving breakfast from catastrophe. He served the omelet with wheat toast and coffee, and as they ate, Fox began asking more questions, requesting that Alex pick up where he left off the night before. Reluctantly, the younger man did as he was asked, and Fox listened without judgement, just as he had promised.

When breakfast was finished, they sat at the table sipping more coffee, Alex continuing to fill Fox in on his life. Fox broke in only occasionally to ask questions.

The doorbell rang in the middle of Alex's story about their encounter in Hong Kong.

"Must be your mother."

"Oh, yeah. She said she'd come by before she left, didn't she?"

Alex nodded and exited the kitchen with Fox close behind. They separated at the dining room, Fox moving into the living room, and Alex going to the door.

"Hello, Alex," Tina Mulder greeted the man at the door. "How are you?"

Alex gave the woman a warm smile. "Pretty good. You?"
 

"A bit fatigued; I'm afraid I didn't sleep very well. Never could rest properly in a bed other than my own."

Alex nodded his acknowledgement and stepped aside, allowing her to enter.

Scully walked in behind Mrs. Mulder and stopped in front of Alex.

"So, how'd you guys do last night?"

Emerald eyes lowered to the floor. "Not as badly as we could have."

"What's that mean?"

Alex glanced over to where Fox stood. His mother had engaged him in conversation, and his attention remained with her.

"We talked about how our relationship began years ago, and let's just say that he didn't take some of the facts very well."

Scully winced. "He seems okay, now."

Alex nodded. "Yeah. He was real upset with me, though. I mean, to the point where I had packed a bag and was going to call you and let know that he was alone."

"Oh, my God. But...you're still here. What happened?"

"He realized that if I went, he'd be alone. He associates me with security. He apologized and asked me to stay. You should have seen his face, Scully. He was scared. And so damn confused."

"Poor Mulder," Scully murmured, then realized that it had to have been hard on both of them. "God, and you must have been dying a thousand deaths."

Alex nodded. "He was so shocked. I was sure he hated me."

"It doesn't matter that he's lost his memory, Alex. Mulder associates more than just security with you. It may not be a conscious thing, but he's attracted to you. He always has been, and he always will be. You're in his blood like he's in yours. It took me a long time to come to that realization, but I have. It'll come back to him, too. Just give it a little time."

Alex gave his newfound friend a grateful smile. "Thank you."

Scully smiled back and moved past him into the living room to join Fox and his mother. "So," she took the opportunity to break in during the small silence, "how're you feeling today, Mulder?"

Fox gave the new arrival an unsteady smile. "Not bad." He looked up to meet the eyes of the man who had come to stand behind Scully. "We've been talking."

Scully nodded, noting the look that passed between them. "Yeah, Alex told me. I'm glad everything's okay."

Fox continued to hold Alex's gaze with his own. "Yeah...me too."

"Well, Fox," Mrs. Mulder took her son's hand. "I must be going, now. Mr. Skinner was good enough to arrange for my transportation home." She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Fox's neck. "I wouldn't be going if I didn't know that you were in very good hands." She turned and smiled at Alex, holding her hand out to him.

Alex hesitated for a moment then took the woman's hand and moved toward them.

"You trust Alex," she instructed in her most motherly tone, placing her son's hand in the other man's. "He loves you so very much, and he'll take care of you."

Alex lowered his eyes, a bit flustered by the woman's display of confidence. He kept his grip on Fox's hand slack, allowing the other man room to pull away if he wished.

Apparently, Fox didn't wish. He held onto Alex's hand and smiled down at the woman. "I trust him."

"Good. Well, it's time that I left. I'll call you when I get home, all right?"

Fox nodded.

Mrs. Mulder kissed one man, then the other and departed, followed by Scully, who called out that she'd be in touch soon as she closed the door behind her.

The men stood together, hands still linked until Fox noticed the look of discomfort on Alex's face. He gently pulled his hand away and cleared his throat. "Sh...she really likes you."

"Yeah," Alex shrugged, casting his eyes downward. "Go figure."

Fox hesitated then stuttered a bit before he got the words out.

"I...I like you too."

Alex gave him a sad smile and inched away. "I'm gonna go clean up the kitchen."

"I'll help you," Fox offered, following the younger man from the room.

They ended up talking again about their history, and by late afternoon Fox had begun to grow weary. He bowed his head, lightly rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Another headache?" Alex asked, concerned as he came to sit on the sofa beside Fox.

"Yeah...it's starting to hurt a little."

"Okay, no more for today. Why don't you lie down and I'll go get us some dinner?"

Fox began to rise. "I want to help."

"Nope." Alex gently held him down. "You rest. Close your eyes."

"It's not that bad," Fox protested, but Alex would not accept any argument.

"Maybe not, but it'll get worse if you don't relax. Now, come on. Lie down."

Grudgingly, Fox complied with Alex's request, lying on his back and pouting up at the other man.

Alex's heart leapt in his chest. The expression was so purely Fox, for a moment he could almost forget that this man lying in front of him wasn't exactly who he'd been just a week ago.

"I'm not a baby," Fox muttered, the pain in his head making him a bit cranky.

'But you're *my* baby,' was on the tip of Alex's tongue, but he choked back the words and merely gave Fox a tiny grin.

"Stay put. I'll call you when dinner is ready."

Fox sighed heavily, closing his eyes when Alex had disappeared from his sight. He couldn't even recall having a thought before his eyes were again opening. He blinked sluggishly, hearing the gravelly, soft tones of the other man's voice.

"...Come on, Fox, wake up."

"Hmmm."

"Dinner's ready."

Fox winced as he pulled himself into a sitting position.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"About an hour and a half."

"Really?"

"Yeah. How's your head?"

"A little heavy, but okay."

"Hungry?"

"I guess."

"You want to come sit at the table, or you want to eat here?"

"N-no, I'll get up."

Alex rose from his knees and helped Fox to his feet, following closely as he wobbled to the dining room table. Once the older man was seated, he served the meal, and they ate in companionable silence.

"Must have been hungrier than I thought," Fox commented, looking down at his virtually empty plate a few minutes later.

"Good," Alex smiled. "That's good. Am I pushing my luck or can I tempt you with a little..." His voice broke and his words were abruptly cut off as Fox's body jerked and his eyes squeezed shut. Alex flew out of his chair and was by the other man's side instantly, dropping to his knees in front of him. "Fox...what is it? Where does it hurt?"

Fox's hands rose to his head, fingers curling in his hair as he grimaced.

"Your head? Damn, again?"

Slight nod.

"Okay, come on. I want you in bed." Alex managed to get Fox out of his chair and steered him toward the bedroom, guiding him down to the mattress. When Fox settled onto his side, Alex sat beside him, tenderly stroking his hair. "Fox?"

The older man lifted his eyelids halfway.

"Can you give me a clue? Do you know what brought this pain on?"

"Noise."

"Noise? What noise?"

"Loud. Like a cannon," Fox whispered.

Alex shook his head. "Where? I don't...did you hear it in your head?"

Another nod.

"Was there anything else? Another sound? Could you see anything?"

"Nooo," Fox whined softly. "Just...a loud noise."

"Okay," Alex cooed. "Shhh. Rest. I'm going to call Scully and let her know what's going on."

As Alex rose, Fox tried to sit up, wincing with the effort. "No, don't."

"She's your doctor, Fox," Alex argued softly, coaxing him back to the bed. "There's something wrong with you, and she should know."

"I'll be all right. Please..."

Alex frowned down at the other man. "Why don't you want me to call her?"

Fox closed his eyes and turned his head into the pillow, refusing to answer.

"Fox..."

"I don't want to go back to the hospital."

"Who said anything about a hospital?"

"She's a doctor. She'll want me to go."

"Not necessarily. And if she does, it'll be because she feels it's the best place for you to be."

"*No*."

"You don't have to be afraid of the hospital, Fox..."

"I don't want to go to another strange place," Fox moaned, lifting a hand to his forehead. "Want to stay...here. Please, Alex. Please..."

"All right." Alex lowered his head to the other man's, murmuring softly against his cheek. "All right."

"Promise," Fox begged, closing his fingers in Alex's shirt, holding the younger man against him.

"I promise," Alex whispered, at that precise moment willing to say anything to calm the frantic man. "No hospital. Now, will you please let me call Scully?"

Fox moaned softly in protest.

"Fox?" Alex tucked a hand under his cheek and turned his face until their eyes met. "Trust me?"

Fox stared up at the younger man through slitted eyes then let his lids drop. He nodded once, and Alex let his thumb sweep across his chin before picking up the phone and dialing Scully's number.

********************

Scully slid down to the floor between her sofa and coffee table, preparing to dig into a quart of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream when the phone rang. She dropped her spoon onto the table and snatched up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Alex."

"Hi. What's up?"

"I'm calling about Fox."

Scully pulled herself up out of her slouch. "Is he okay?"

"He's having headaches, Scully," Alex said softly into the phone, not wanting to wake the man who had quickly slipped into unconsciousness.

"Headaches? What kind of headaches?"

"Hard to explain. The first two I'd definitely categorize as regular headaches. They seem to have been brought on by stress and exhaustion. He started with each one after we'd been talking for a while..."

"Nothing odd about that."

"No, I guess not, but this one that just came on him after dinner. I'm not so sure I'd call it a headache, exactly."

Scully drummed on the tabletop. "What *would* you call it?"

"We hadn't been talking. We had a nice, quiet dinner. He ate well, and I was about to offer him some dessert when he was just...blindsided by pain. I got him into bed and asked him to tell me about it. He said he heard a sound. Like a cannon blast...in his head. That's it. Just that one, loud sound, and it caused him so much pain."

"Does it still hurt?"

"I don't think so. It's at least subsided enough to let him sleep." Alex reached down to let his fingers skim over the golden-brown surface of the sleeping man's hair. "He's out cold."

"Hmm. Alex, I have to say that if that continues, he'll have to be examined...have some tests run, but..."

"You don't mean we'll have to put him in the hospital, do you?"

"Possibly. Why?"

"We can't, Scully. He's terrified of going back to a hospital. He didn't want me to call you for fear you'd suggest that. I had to promise him that there would be no hospitals."

"*Alex*..."

"I know, I know, but you didn't see him, Scully. He was really uptight."

"I understand, Alex, and I sympathize. The last thing I want to do is shake him up any more than he has to be. But if there's something wrong with him and the best place for him is a hospital, then that's where he should go."

"I know, but....last resort, okay? I promised him..."

"You shouldn't have done that," Scully chastised.

"Yeah, *you* look into those wide, scared eyes. *You* sit here with him clinging to you and begging you to keep him out of someplace he really doesn't want to be, and then tell me you wouldn't do exactly what I did."

Scully sighed into the phone. "You know, Alex, I never thought I'd say this to you."

"Say, what?"

"You're a *sap*."

"S'cuse me?"

"You are. When it comes to Mulder, you're like...warm Jello."

"Warm *Jello*..."

"Yeah. All he's gotta do is give you that wounded puppy look, and you're all done."

"He's not playing me, Scully; he's really scared."

"I don't doubt that he is. And I know that he needs some special care right now, but, Alex, you've got to be firm with him."

"I will be if there's absolutely no other choice. But he trusts me, Scully, and I'm not going to do anything to break that trust if I can help it."

"I know. You seem to be the only one he trusts completely. I wouldn't want to do anything to change that either. And anyway, I don't really think hospitalization is necessary. Not right now. Don't get your hopes up, but I think the pain Mulder experienced could possibly be connected to a memory."

In spite of Scully's warning, Alex's heart leapt. "You think?"

"The sound; the cannon blast. Could've been a gunshot. Maybe he's starting to remember a case...an instant where he had to use his gun."

Sable eyebrows arched curiously. "Maybe."

"Keep a close eye on him. If he experiences pain not associated with any sounds or visions, let me know."

"I will. Thanks, Scully."

"Night, Alex."

Alex dropped the phone onto the bed and watched Fox sleep. A tiny smile curved his lips at the thought that his lover's memory might actually be returning. He leaned over and planted a soft kiss on the stubbled cheek then turned the light out and exited the room.

********************
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