by Coreopsis
Nick wants you. He doesn't mind that you can tell. He doesn't mind that
*everyone* can tell. He wants the world to know, but mostly he wants you to
know. He wants you to finally acknowledge the clear and simple fact that he
wants you. And that you want him. He knows this too. He knows you want
him right back and it's pissing him off that you won't say so. Won't do
anything about it.
So he watches you, every thought no longer written across his suddenly grown up face. His blue eyes are simply intent, his pink mouth (perfect for sucking cock, your traitorous libido whispers) is teasingly somber. This is not the impatient playful boy you once knew. He's a man and he's willing to wait. Willing to take a chance, trying to make you come to him.
And you will. You know that some dark night in some impersonal hotel room when the shadows seem a little colder than before and his room is right next door...you'll go to him. You'll knock and he'll answer. There'll be whispers and sighs and maybe tears if it doesn't go well. And no matter what happens, you'll wonder why you waited, but in the meantime...
Nick wants you.
From offscreen:
Don't want you back. You're a little boy in a man's body, Nick. And I
don't need that right now. Just like the song says, you're no good for me.
They told me in rehab not to get involved in any serious relationships for
at least a year. Smarmy hacks never had to contend with the Carter Pout.
You wanna be the center of attention, and I don't have it to give right now.
Don't... Don't look at me like that. Like you're remembering the good times
Want... Want to know what hurts most? I do want you, just like before...but not.
You... You can't save me from the man I've become. Remember that line in Shape? Well *listen* for once. It's not about you. it's not about you it's not about you it's not...
Back... Back when I was using, it could have been about you. Or Kevin or my grandma or the sky not being blue enough. Anything and everything was a reason. And you were always my favorite and I hated it and I hate you for it.
Don't... Don't look so fucking sorry for me. I don't want your pity and you can take your sympathy and stick it up your ass.
Want... Want you. I do, but I don't have to like it. And I sure as hell don't have to do anything about it.
You... You can't be casual. You don't have it in you. And apparently, neither do I. Big fucking joke on "the playa", huh? Well, the things we learn about ourselves.
Back...I do want you back. But I can't have you. And that's why I don't want you back. So stop looking at me like you want to lick me to death. Stop looking at me like I kicked your puppy. Stop looking at me like you still love me like that.
Just stop looking at me with your broken heart in your eyes because I don't deserve that.
And neither do you.
And onscreen:
AJ, man, you're missing so much here. It could be so good. Now. Again.
Maybe better than ever before. You're doing so well, and I only wanna help.
You look so good. I just wanna hold you and show you how much I missed you,
how glad I am to have you back.
I just want you to look at me, dammit. Look at me without those damned ubiquitous sunglasses. Yeah, bet you'd be shocked that I know a word like ubiquitous, wouldn't you? One year difference, but you seem to think that I'm still a little hyper kid and you're the big bad tortured grownup. Well, guess what, pal? You ain't cornered that particular market.
I've grown up a lot in the last year. You made sure of that. And as much as I hated a lot of it, I almost feel like I should thank you for it. You made me step up and be a man because you weren't doing that great a job of it. And now that you are, you're back and clean and healthy, now you're too good for me.
I don't wanna be your past. I wanna love you *now*. I wanna be part of your future.
And I'm gonna be. You just wait and see.
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